Bonnie's Medical Update (Part 3)

Only By God's Grace

2010-12-18T07:02:00.002-05:00

December 18, 2010

It's been exactly one week since Bonnie went home to be with the Lord. In some respects is seems just like yesterday we were with her in the hospital as her soul was lifted from her body and united with Christ's for eternity. In other respects, it seems like this was just a difficult dream and at any time she'll pull into the driveway and open the door to say "I'm home!". The reality is, Bonnie IS home and she has been healed and has no more pain or suffering.

Reality is also setting in for us as the memorial service is now behind us and a NEW "new normal" is ahead of us and still unknown to us what it looks like. The initial "new normal" following Bonnie's bone marrow transplant never fully developed, so we need to regroup and refocus. The four of us are going to spend some much needed R & R time alone together over the Christmas break.

Please continue to pray that God will fill the void in our home and that He will give me the gentleness and compassion of a mother's comforting touch that children, no matter their age, earnestly yearn for during trials. Also pray that a plan will come together in the next couple of weeks in order to continue Caleb's and Callie's home education for the balance of this school year, including Caleb's graduation. We have close friends working on ideas while the four of us are doing our R & R.

Thank you for your prayers for Cassandra during finals at Spring Arbor. She received confirmation that she got 4 pts in both her Communications and Rhetoric classes. She has an incomplete currently in her Constitutional Law as well as her International Conflict Business Management class as she missed both classes on Wednesday for the memorial service. The faculty at Spring Arbor have been incredible working with Cassandra throughout this entire ordeal. We are grateful to them for creating an environment for her that is enabling her to succeed.

Finally, I want to share a poem with you that was written by someone Bonnie held in high esteem; Wanda Burdick, a friend, a homeschooler pioneer and advocate and founder of Teenworks. Wanda shared this poem with me yesterday and I asked permission to share it with you. At the memorial service, we heard about the phrase Bonnie used frequently while teaching our kids: "Let's be a blessing...". Another phrase I was reminded of in Wanda's poem was "It's only by God's grace...". So I will end with the poem and update you after our R & R.

Love Steve (and Cassandra, Caleb & Callie)

Only By God’s Grace
By
Wanda Burdick

Bonnie I met many years ago,
I don’t think she ever had any foes.
She was a friend to everyone
And she worked until the task was done.
But when asked why? She simply stated,
“Only by God’s Grace.”

She devoted her life to others,
As a helper, listener, wife and mother.
I know she got tired and weary,
But she still worked in a furry.
And I asked why? She simply replied,
“Only by God’s Grace.”

I watched her do the menial jobs,
Like cleaning toilets, and wiping door knobs.
I used to think, she is so willing,
If only the world had two Bonnies, how thrilling.
I still asked her why she did this and she still said,
“Only by God’s Grace.”

One day I had lost a loved one,
She listened and said loosing one is no fun.
She understood and comforted me,
And helped me to look to Jesus and to see.
As she said we will all someday be there,
“Only By God’s Grace.”

One sad day Bonnie was diagnosed with cancer,
But she did not dismay, but looked for the answer.
So she could continue to be a wife and mother,
Her desire was to get better to serve others.
When I asked how she was doing, she humbly replied,
“Only by God’s Grace.”

Bonnie prayed she would suffer well,
Even though she knew she would say her farewells.
She became so concerned for her family
As she so loved Cassandra, Caleb and Callie
She asked me how do I prepare them?
I said, “Only by God’s Grace.”

Bonnie did all she could do,
To be there for them to see them through.
The good times and hard times of life,
For she wanted only to be Steven’s wife.
But she knew it was,
“Only by God’s Grace.”

On December 11, 2010, the death bell rang,
And Bonnie went with Jesus as the angels sang.
Bonnie woke up in to the arms of Jesus,
To be a part of heaven and its sweetness.
She said to Our Father,
“Thank you for your Grace.”

Bonnie will be missed and remembered by many,
And there is nothing that can help us to be ready,
To deal with the pain and loneliness,
To deal with missing Bonnie’s closeness.
Except: As Bonnie would say -
“Only by God’s grace.”

Bonnie was a good friend and example to all. This is a tribute to a Godly woman who was given to us by God’s Grace. So often I heard Bonnie use this term and these were the last words I heard from Bonnie. “Only By God’s Grace.”

Thank you Wanda!

2010-12-15T23:09:00.000-05:00

December 15, 2010

As this long day draws to a close, I can’t help but reflect on how incredibly blessed we are as a family. We are so grateful for all of you contributing in different ways making this day, mixed with heartache and sorrow, one that was special and to be treasured for a long time.

Some of you were unable to attend Bonnie’s memorial service due to various reasons, but were still with us in spirit praying fervently that God would be glorified through the remembrance of how He used Bonnie for His will. Thank you for those prayers and for continued prayer for our family. Based on the number of comments shared following the service, this prayer was answered tenfold.

Those of you who could attend, thank you for being a part of our rejoicing and celebration of Bonnie’s life. Thank you for your encouraging words, offer of support and continued prayer.

Thank you to Trinity Church and all the many volunteers who donated of their time and talent to assist with coordinating everything from A/V, ushering, food preparation, and overall coordination. What a blessing it was to all of us to be able to spend more time with family and friends during this difficult time.

Today was the essence of who Bonnie was and how God challenged her and used her. Through the tears we had smiles in our hearts. God has healed Bonnie and that in and of itself is an answer to the prayers of thousands. You may say though, but God didn’t heal how we wanted Him to heal her. God is mysterious and unfathomable and we cannot even being to fully grasp His purpos in a situation like this, but we trust him that he knows best.

And now we move forward attempting to learn a new normal of life without mom. Bonnie will be missed, but the seeds she planted and the seedlings she has been nurturing in our kids have been watered by your prayers. If you are looking for a tangible answer to your prayers here is one. I know many of you, including myself; have been praying for the spiritual strength of our children. Back during the week of Thanksgiving, my mother brought to my attention that my 15 year old (Callie) had a blog. So like all responsible parents who don’t know their child has a blog, I searched for it and found it and was stunned by some of her posts I read.

As I read Callie’s blog, tears of joy were running down my face because of God’s mercy in answering our prayer that our kids were persevering throughout this trial and were willing to accept one of the most challenging emotionally painful events a teenager probably has to endure. With Callie’s permission, I have pasted one of her blog posts. I do this not as a proud father, but as evidence of answered prayer. The depth of thought in this post is nothing Bonnie or I can take credit for. As I said in the previous paragraph, seeds were planted, but were watered and fertilized with your prayers and the fruit of those prayers is one example from a November 12th blog entry from Callie’s site:

Friday, November 12, 2010
FAITH
Recently, I had a friend ask me how I could stay a Christian and still love God, even through my circumstances. This came as a huge shock to me, especially from a Christian Homeschooler that would ask me this. I continued on to tell this friend that it's not my choice what circumstances come my way, and that it’s ALL up to God. The conversation continued on and went down a path that I didn't expect. Basically to sum up what went on without mentioning names, this friend said to me: "I just can't imagine how anyone could not be angry at God for making life so terrible..I can't even do it and my life isn't as half as bad as yours." I realized that this was the PERFECT opportunity for me to share one of the closest things to my heart.

I started to explain that God will never give us more than we can handle. Sure, it’s extremely hard having cancer in your family but that doesn't mean we just forget about God, put him in a drawer and only open it if life is going great. We have to take the good with the bad and THANK God constantly for whatever he is doing in our lives. It's for his ultimate good and purpose. I know sometimes a lot of people don't seem to understand this topic. I have found that you truly don't understand the idea of fully relying and trusting the Lord until you go through trials. Before any of our family trials happened, I used to always think "Oh I get the whole idea of relying on the Lord." But I didn't fully realize until my parents got cancer, how much God wants us to trust Him. It’s amazing to see. I've learned so much through this situation.

The other day I was reading this book by Elisabeth Elliot about suffering. One of my favorite quotes by her was this: "He is not all that we would ask for (if we were honest), but it is precisely when we do not have what we ask for, and only then, that we can clearly perceive His all-sufficiency. It is when the sea is moonless that the Lord has become my light." I have that quote taped on my mirror. It daily reminds me that at times we might want something more, but the only thing we really need is God and his all sufficient self.

The basic name to label this is Faith. If we don't have faith, we don't have God in our lives. If we don't trust him no matter what comes our way, we don't have God. He is the ULTIMATE way, truth and life. A really important Bible verse that puts faith into perspective for me is Matthew 17:20: "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this to this mountain: 'Move from here to there.' And it will move."

Basically to sum up this post, never stop trusting God, no matter what comes your way. He sustains you and holds you up through the hardest times. He is our ultimate hope, and King.

Posted by Callie Marie

Thank you for the many ways of expressing love to our family during this very difficult period in our lives. Today’s service was like a dissipating storm cloud with the bold rays of the sun shining brightly through. We will be forever grateful for your care and concern.

Love,

Steve, Cassandra, Caleb and Callie

2010-12-12T08:16:00.000-05:00

December 12, 2010

To all our family and friends as well as acquaintances who have found us on this blog,

Thank you again for the outpouring of love on our family during this difficult time. We are still numb and have many “reality sinking in” milestones ahead of us and have already confronted some head on like meeting with the funeral home, planning a service and coming back home with one less chair occupied at the table. We will have more of those as time for us here continues and appreciate all of your prayers for strength and endurance.

With that said, we have a few parting words. First of all, we have confirmed that the memorial service will indeed be held this Wednesday, December 15th at 11:00 a.m. at Trinity Church located at 3355 Dunckel Road in Lansing, with visiting family an hour prior to the service and lunch following. Over the course of the past year and a half, we have heard that there are people reading this blog who we have never met. We know Bonnie would have loved to meet you and to learn more about you. Bonnie never liked the focus to be on her, but we are planning to celebrate her life and glorify God on how He used Bonnie right up to the end of her physical life here. Even if you never met Bonnie and only know her through this blog, we would like to extend an invitation to you to attend this service.

Finally, as I sat down this morning to catch up on my daily Bible reading that I missed yesterday, how fitting it was that part of my scheduled reading included Revelation 7, particularly with an emphasis on verses 9 through 17 below:

After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; and they cry out with a loud voice, saying, "Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb." And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures; and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, "Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever Amen."

Then one of the elders answered, saying to me, "These who are clothed in the white robes, who are they, and where have they come from?" I said to him, "My lord, you know." And he said to me, "These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."

"For this reason, they are before the throne of God; and they serve Him day and night in His temple; and He who sits on the throne will spread His tabernacle over them. "They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes."

Bonnie is with a multitude in heaven, has been made clean by the blood of the Lamb and she is without a doubt serving Him already and will have unlimited strength and energy to serve Him for all of eternity. The last year and a half she has experienced hunger, thirst, and after the transplant was always concerned about the sun beating down on her, be she now has the freshness coming from the springs of the water of life. I’m sure she’ll have some tears; tears of joy with the Savior, maybe tears for us, but the comfort and tenderness of God will gently wipe them all away.

We love you Bonnie and will miss you!

Steve, Cassandra, Caleb and Callie.

2010-12-11T08:46:00.000-05:00

December 11, 2010

Bonnie Opper (7/31/1962-12/11/2010)

This morning Bonnie’s journey here with us ended and started afresh with the Lord. After a year and a half of battling leukemia, her body gave in to a terrible infection that couldn’t feasibly be overcome. Central to all of the complications was the loss or rejection of the stem cell transplant she had a year ago. For some unexplainable reason, her graft stem cells were not present in her most recent bone marrow biopsy, thus the inability to produce white blood cells which were needed to fight the infection.

Normally in past blogs we took the time to explain in detail some of the medical aspects as well as the challenges Bonnie was dealing with. We no longer need to focus on that, but instead need to reflect on the positive impact Bonnie had on people around her.

Bonnie never put herself first; before me, the kids, family, friends or acquaintances. She would be the one eating a cold dinner after making sure our children were provided for. She would work all day teaching and then be correcting papers late at night and encouraging me to go to bed to get rest.

Bonnie never liked the attention to be on her. No matter the situation, whether she was having a good day, or bad day, sick or healthy, she would always brighten up when she encountered anyone. I remember one instant when she had just received her bone marrow transplant last year and had severe mucusitis pain in her mouth and was wrenching in pain and when the doctors came in she had a smile on her face and asked how they were doing. She didn’t just do that as a custom, but rather sincerely wanted to know how they were doing. She didn’t want her pain to be a burden on them. For the caregiver (me) it was difficult because I knew how much pain she was in, so I would quietly let the staff know how Bonnie’s personality was wired.

She left a huge impact on the doctors and nurses at both Sparrow Hospital and Karmanos. The nurses in ICU have been amazed at the number of staff (nurses, doctors, assistants, etc.) that have come over from Karmanos’ wing of the hospital to ICU to see Bonnie. They’ve said “she must have left quite an impression on the staff in the Bone Marrow Transplant unit!”

On the Friday after Thanksgiving, I came into Bonnie’s room at Sparrow Hospital early in the morning. She said she felt the sickest she has felt and said “I think I’m going to meet the Lord today”. Well, that day came and went and so did several more in between then and today. But today, she is meeting the Lord and I’m excited for her, yet grieving for us and praying that God will fill the void she has left here.

One thing Bonnie would want more than anything is to have you know that she is safely home with Christ and had a peace knowing that when this day came she would be with Him for eternity. The reason she was so sure is by the simple steps she took so many years ago of acknowledging to God that she was as sinner; born in a sinful state because of our fallen world; separated from a holy God because of her sin and unable to do anything, any good work in and of herself to satisfy a holy God’s wrath; knowing that it would take someone perfect to appease God’s wrath which Jesus did for her and by putting her faith in Christ, asking or inviting Him into her life, she knew her sins were forgiven and she would spend eternity with Him. Anyone who comes to God confessing their sin, putting their faith and trust in Christ Jesus, inviting Him into their heart, loving Him, and living their life for Him will certainly have the same assurance Bonnie was confident with.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9

So, as we draw this blog to a conclusion, my family and I cannot begin to express our gratitude for the outpouring of love and kindness that has been poured out upon us during this very difficult time. We are so grateful for each and every one of you and appreciate your prayers. We are planning a memorial service for Bonnie which is tentatively planned for 11:00 a.m. this Wednesday, December 15th at Trinity Church in Lansing. Once all arrangements have been confirmed we will do one last post of the date and time.

With love,

Steve, Cassandra, Caleb and Callie

2010-12-08T21:25:00.000-05:00

December 8, 2010

Another day of medical education combined with wondering, waiting and watching as Bonnie continues to be fully sedated as the components of life support perform their job. As Bonnie rests in the ICU, the multiple IV meds fight a terrible infection that has been identified. For now she is stable, but in critical condition

The blood cultures have tested positive for an infection which is the same positive test from Bonnie's mouth secretions from a few days ago. It's good that the specific type of infection has been identified so the medical staff can treat it with appropriate regiment. Because Bonnie's immune system is either suppressed or non-existent, the infection became severe enough that it taxed her body and as a result the failing vital signs.

Combined with the infection was Bonnie's body's reaction to the infection called Sepsis, which is a potentially life-threatening condition the can injure the body tissues beyond the original infection. It can affect the function of vital organs temporarily or long term.

Because of the low blood pressure yesterday along with the sepsis, harsh antibiotics and other meds, Bonnie's kidneys are failing based on the limited amount of urine output and the level of creatine in her blood. There are times kidney failures can be reversed, but this is something yet to be determined.

On the positive side, the amount of oxygen has been somewhat reduced, which means the blood oxygen has improved a little, although Bonnie has a ways to go until consideration would be given to removing the breathing tube. In addition to the oxygen, ICU has been able to slowly reduce the volume of IV med used to sustain Bonnie's blood pressure to an acceptable level. She is far from being off the IVs, but it certainly is headed in the right direction.

Bonnie had another bone marrow biopsy today. The initial results show that no leukemia is present in the bone marrow. The balance of the results are supposed to be returned on Friday and the latest being Monday. It should give some indication as to whether Bonnie's body has rejected the stem cell transplant of the infection has destroyed the immune system or suppressed her immune system.

We are praying and hoping that the infection has only suppressed Bonnie's immune system. If that is the case, the hope is that her immune system might rebound, IF she can recover from the infection, the sepsis, and the damage that has occurred to her system and organs.

On behalf of our entire family, thank you again for your prayers, notes, cards, visits and overall support.

Steve and Bonnie

2010-12-07T21:47:00.000-05:00

December 7, 2010

This morning as I was walking into the Bone Marrow Transplant unit at around 6:50 AM I sensed things weren't going well in Bonnie's room as I saw one of the RNs walking about 100 feet ahead of me carrying what looked like ice packs. As I arrived at the room and saw the attending night physician in the room with two other nurses I learned that the fever Bonnie had spiked to 101 last night had crept up over 103. In addition her blood pressure was very low (70s over 40s), blood oxygen low (81) and heart rate elevated (150ish). The team worked vigorously to improve Bonnie's vital signs but in a short period of time determined she needed to be immediately moved to ICU, where she is now.

To say she is on "life support" sounds so terminal, but in reality, it is IV meds that are artificially keeping her blood pressure at acceptable levels and her heart rate moderate. The ICU team had to insert a breathing tube (intubation) to get Bonnie's blood oxygen at or near acceptable levels. So tonight Bonnie rests under heavy sedation and pain meds, in addition to the other meds, including antibiotics and her ongoing meds since the bone marrow transplant.

Chest xrays show some lung infiltrate which could be a number of things. Blood cultures from this morning have returned positive for an infection that is being narrowed down currently and may be determined by tomorrow morning.

She may have an infection in her lungs, it may be in her blood, it may be both and what is currently being analyzed. Once the infection has been identified, the doctors feel the status is reverseable, however there may be damage to her lungs or possibly other organs, due to a number of things, including the low blood pressure and meds being pumped through her.

Key in all of this is Bonnie's immune system or lack thereof. In normal situations the doctors believe this is reverseable, but the variable in this case is that Bonnie doesn't have a normal immune system, but rather a compromised system. As of this morning her white blood cells had dropped to .1 or 100 (as a refresher 4000-12,000 is considered normal range).

The prayer is that her bone marrow will start to produce new white blood cells and that her numbers will come up to an acceptable level. Bonnie knew the best place for her was Karmanos, but once we arrived over a week ago, she shared with me a concern of her failing and being stuck in Detroit, 90 miles away from home. For now, her concern is being realized, as she lies in ICU unaware of her situation.

Tomorrow Karmanos plans to do another bone marrow biopsy. If you have followed this blog in the past you are aware of the anxiousness Bonnie has in anticipation of this procedure. Because she is under heavy sedation, she has no clue this is going to happen and won't be awake during the actual procedure to care. Hopefully the biopsy will give the BMT doctors a clue as to why Bonnie has been neutropenic (no WBCs) since the Wednesday prior to Thanksgiving.

At this stage, there isn't any indication how long she will be in ICU. I was told it could be days or weeks, depending on how she responds to treatment. So, please continue to pray for God's will. Obviously our desire is for the reversing of her current status so she can return to Lansing.

Thank you for your faithfulness in keeping us in your prayers.

Love, Steve (and Bonnie too!)

2010-12-05T17:25:00.000-05:00

December 5, 2010

For those of you who have at one time or another planted a vegetable garden, you know what it is like to wait for the seeds to sprout, stems to grow and the leaves to unfold with the hope of blossoms forming, being pollinated and growing into something to harvest weeks later. Sometimes seeds are planted too deep and take longer to poke through the surface, sometimes the seeds sprout but have a deficiency or disease, some grow into plants with blossoms and no fruit and others produce a harvest that is tenfold.

What does a vegetable garden have to do with an update on Bonnie? As one day becomes night and another day rolls around, the sitting, waiting and wondering about positive results are like watching the surface of the soil waiting for a seedling to poke through wondering if it will be one that grows or withers. Thus far the past two weeks have produced few results.

From a positive perspective, the fevers are under control with the last one being over 48 hours ago. Whatever her body was trying to fight has been neutralized by 5 different heavy duty antibiotics. Another positive is Bonnie’s will to fight. She has forced herself to get out of bed to walk ten laps around the floor yesterday and eleven today. The energy may be due in part to the temporary steroid she received four doses of Friday and Saturday.

The four doses of steroids were given to Bonnie with the hope that it would be like a bomb to attack the Graft Versus Host Disease ravaging through her mouth. Unfortunately the steroids did not prove to be an effective treatment, as there has not been any improvement or relief in the slightest.

Her blood counts remain low and the collective wisdom is that until her white blood cell count increases the sores will persist. So while we wait to see if and when the counts come up, Bonnie is left with various concoctions of ointments and rinses to find temporary relief combined with the stronger IV pain meds that have been causing nausea. We thought we found an anti-nausea solution yesterday without the drugged up effect, but later found that many times a bad headache accompanies its use. So it is a vicious circle with no immediate light at the end of the tunnel.

We wait and try to focus on God’s faithfulness. The verse that we are claiming and is written on the grease board in our room is Isaiah 40:31:

“Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength, they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.”

Please pray Isaiah 40:31 for us. We are so grateful for your prayers not only for Bonnie and me, but also for our kids. In addition to how you’ve been praying we do have a special prayer request for Cassandra who is away at college and to a certain extent feeling all alone. She has finals coming up over the next couple of weeks which will require her undivided attention to accomplish the goals she has set for herself to maintain her academic scholarship. She has the ability to compartmentalize a little, but with what is going on in our family’s life, it’s a challenge for her to forge ahead with the focus she needs to succeed. Pray that she will be able to focus clearly on her studies and that she would not feel any guilt about being away actively involved with school.

Thank you!

Steve & Bonnie

2010-12-03T17:42:00.000-05:00

December 3, 2010

As Bonnie rests in the quietness of the room with the IV pumps whining, clicking and pumping away, I thought I provide an update on Bonnie as it has been a couple of days. There has been much change thus far in her physical condition. She still has the horrendous mouth sores from the Graft vs. Host Disease, swelling in the cheeks from the sores, skin GVHD, no white blood cells to speak of, and other key blood components that decline and then boosted by infusions.

To counter the pain we are trying to manage and tweak dosages of dilaudid so it doesn’t cause nausea on top of everything else. Yesterday the doctors prescribed a Patient Controlled Anesthetic (PAC) device so Bonnie can push a button for pain med as needed, up to four times each hour. Even with the minimal amount of meds, it is still creating nausea, so along with the paid med she reluctantly takes Ativan as an anti-nausea med. Both the pain med and Ativan combined cause Bonnie to be groggy and sleep a lot, which is a frustration for her, but the lesser of two evils with the intense pain she is experiencing.

One of the sores on the inside of her cheek is hitting the nerve that runs into the molars and up into her ear, so not only is the pain local, it also travels through the nerve that runs along the jaw and into the ear. Today the doctors are starting a two day plan to see if they can alleviate some of the pain and settle down the GVHD mouth sores, by using a low dose steroid, Decadron. Putting Bonnie back on the normal steroid she has been on since the transplant (Medrol) would stir up leukemic activity, and could possibly reverse the positive effects the radiation had on the mass in her breast. So, they are giving her four doses total of Decadron between today and tomorrow.

The hope is that the Decadron will be like a small bomb attacking the GVHD in her mouth neutralizing it for a couple of days until a heavier dose of her immune suppressant medication can build up in her system to counter the use of the white blood cells that are traveling to these sores wreaking havoc in her mouth. The thought is that the few WBCs she has are all going naturally to attack this area with the GVHD, which makes matters worse. If the low dose steroid can slap down the GVHD, the WBCs won’t be used up so quickly, allowing her counts to rise.

This is the short term remedy and no guarantee it will be successful, but that is the plan for now. Long term there is still the issue of why the leukemia came back with textbook GVHD. Questions that remain and can’t be answered at this point include, did the graft of the donor stem cells fail (transplant rejection) after a year or is there a viral infection that has yet to be detected. All blood tests have come back negative. GVHD can cause WBCs to decline, but Karmanos also feels that the amount of radiation needed for the treatment of the mass may have contributed to the reduction as well. Has Karmanos seen stem cell rejection a year later? Yes, but rarer. At this point is that there assessment? No.

So, we wait. It’s a trial and error at this point or maybe better referred to as trial and elimination. There isn’t a “step by step” clinical study that says “here’s how you address this issue.” It’s looking at every possibility and eliminating and narrowing down. We know we are in the right place and feel confident that Bonnie is getting the best care possible.

In some respects, the bone marrow transplant in 2009 was easier, as there were benchmarks or milestones that a loose schedule adhered to. In this case, it is all about the unknown. So we have to put the “unknown” in God’s hands and rest in the fact that he knows the outcome. He knows what is going to happen the next hour, the next day, the next week and beyond.

Ours and your prayers ARE being answered. Some may not be the answer WE want or desire because WE don’t possess God’s wisdom to fully see the picture from His vantage point in infinite dimensions compared to how he created us in finite dimensions. So how are the prayers being answered? Our faith and trust in Christ has not wavered throughout this trial. It has been strengthened. The peace that God has poured out upon us has been abundant and overwhelming which provides us the nourishment for endurance. Our patience in “waiting on the Lord” has not wavered even with the day to day waiting and wondering what is next for Bonnie.

“….for He views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.” Job 28:23-24

Thank you for your continued prayers.

Steve & Bonnie

2010-11-30T19:59:00.000-05:00

November 30, 2010

This past Sunday, Bonnie and I watched a pastor teach on accountability as we sat in her hospital room at Sparrow Hospital. Because of your faithfulness in praying for Bonnie and our family over these many months, we need to be accountable to you on keeping you up to date on Bonnie's status and the reason for the frequent updates.

Today Bonnie was transported via ambulance (no sirens or flashers) from Sparrow Hospital to Karmanos Cancer Center where she had her bone marrow transplant in October 2009. Yesterday most of the blood tests for viral infections we have been waiting for from Mayo Clinic came back negative. Deductive reasoning by the team of physicians is that everything (fevers, no white blood cells, mouth sores, etc.) Bonnie is dealing with is most likely Graft vs Host Disease. Sparrow Hospital doesn't have the expertise in providing the in-depth care required for this so they requested a transfer to Karmanos.

Nothing has really improved since a week ago Monday with the exception of the fever is now more or less low grade and for now has only been spiking into the mid-100 degree range, although tonight it has climbed to 101.5 degrees. She continues to endure extreme pain in her mouth, but reluctant to accept pain medications because of the side of effects. It isn't until the pain is almost unbearable that she succumbs to the realization that she needs the masking for relief. Please pray that she might be more accepting of these meds so her body can use the energy to fight the GVHD or whatever else is going on as opposed to the energy being spent on fighting pain.

The transfer from Sparrow to Karmanos today was seamless. More times than not, scheduled activity at the hospital doesn't usually occur as quick as one would want. The idea of transferring was introduced at 9:30 this morning and by 2:30 this afternoon the transport team was rolling Bonnie out of Sparrow. We arrived at Karmanos at 4:00 and by 4:45 the Chair and head physician of the BMT unit and Bonnie's Nurse Practitioner were already examining Bonnie and charting out an initial course of action.

They are running some new tests as well as redoing some of the tests Sparrow did this past week. In addition they are going to insert a PICC line (central catheter for infusing meds and blood draws). By doing so they can start Bonnie on a TPN (nutrition IV) so she can get the necessary nutrients that may have been missing from the smoothie shakes she has been drinking the past three weeks.

We know Bonnie is getting the best care and treatment here at Karmanos, but she is ultimately in God's hands. As more information becomes available we will certainly share it with. Thank-you for your faithfulness in praying for us.

Steve & Bonnie

2010-11-26T23:25:00.000-05:00

Good Evening,

Just a quick update on Bonnie. Over the past couple of days she has been pumped with antibiotics and antifungal meds along with all the meds she has been taking since her bone marrow biopsy. Throughout the day she typically has two IVs going at once with various fluids being pumped into her along with the meds.

She continues to have fevers, but the spikes are not as high as they were earlier in the week. Tonight I took her temperature just before leaving and it had spiked at 100.1 degrees, which almost seems normal compared to the 103 and 104 degrees she was hitting.

She is still in quite a bit of pain due to the mouth sores. Today she was more willing to accept dilaudid for pain (I was told today that dilaudid is 5 times stronger than morphine or maybe more concentrated). Unfortunately after the second small dose, she experienced nausea and vomiting a couple of times making her a little apprehensive in taking more later this evening. The pain tonight was probably more severe than she has had because she was willing to have more dilaudid pushed through her IV regardless of the nausea. A little milk first followed by the nurse pushing it slowly seemed to help, although I left 30 minutes after.

Her blood labs continue to be the same without improvement. Her white blood cell count remains non existant, platelets lower than normal and hemoglobin dropping again, requiring another blood transfusion this afternoon. Other items in her comprehensive blood panel are out of normal ranges as well.

So, while Bonnie continues to endure each minute of each hour of each day with all the IVs, pain, nausea, we wait for lab results of tests to determine what she is dealing with, whether a virus, infection or possible, but very rare, a breakdown in the grafting of the stem cells that grafted over a year ago. Most likely it appears to be a virus which her blood has an antibody of a virus test positive. The complication is that the particular virus and how it reacts with a bone marrow transplant and graft host disease. This is something Sparrow Hospital doesn't have expertise in so they have sent biopsy and blood samples to Karmanos for their own testing to determine the best course for treatment, if any. Return of results are slower due to the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.

Please pray that the time will pass quickly and for Bonnie to have both short and long term relief of the pain and suffering she is enduring. Thank you for all the cards, notes, emails, and texts. Your prayers are the most important aspect of help during this time and we are grateful for each and everyone of you.

Steve (& Bonnie)

2010-11-24T17:17:00.000-05:00

November 24, 2010

Overwhelmed is the only word that comes to mind as I sit here and ponder the past 24 hours. Overwhelmed is the same word that comes to mind thinking about the incredible amount of support you have shown us through all of your prayers. Thank you.

With that said, we are happy to report that Bonnie has been moved out of ICU. It was a 24 hour stay that seemed more like a 72 hour stay. Although it was nice to have a 1 to 1, nurse to patient ratio, it was not a pleasant visit for Bonnie. Her vital signs are much better and more consistent and after many blood draws, the doctors determined she could be sent back to her familiar confines of 5 West.

Bonnie is resting/sleeping now after being awake most of the night running various test, trying to breathe through various oxygen masks and poked enough times to feel like a pin cushion ten times over. So in the quietness of her room, I thought it was important to let all of you know that she is out of ICU.

Although she is out of ICU, she is not out of the woods, unfortunately. The pathology report of the bone marrow biospy from yesterday is still clear of leukemia blasts, but she still has a recurrence of the leukemia in her body. Sparrow is sending bone marrow samples to Karmanos for their review and testing.

Most likely, Bonnie is probably dealing with a virus or infection that is depleting her white blood cells trying to fight the virus. For some reason the bone marrow isn't keeping up making new cells. Because there is not sign of the leukemia in her bone marrow, the doctors at both Sparrow and Karmanos have agreed that Bonnie should be given Neupogen injections to stimulate the bone marrow to produce new white blood cells. Originally there was concern that this could also stimulate leukemic activity, but that concern was eliminated to a certain degree by the results of the biopsy.

She is still receiving strong antibiotics and antifungals as they continue to determine what is going on. Her mouth sores are bad, as I've previously mentioned. Every nurse that has looked at them have made comments that they have never seen sores like these. It took a lot of convincing by nursing staff, doctors and family for Bonnie to agree to receiving IV pain meds today. Her pain tolerance (or stubborness in wanting to keep a clear head) is incredibly high. It wasn't until she couldn't put her lips on a cup containing her protein smoothie because of the pain did she agree to a small amount of paid meds.

At this point we don't know how much longer she will be here, but we do know that we will celebrate Thanksgiving on 5 West. We are thankful for the wonderful caregivers who have become like extended family, we are thankful for you and most importantly we are thankful to God who is in control of all things including those things that are difficult and hard to understand.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving
And His courts with praise
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
Psalm 100:4

Happy Thanksgiving,

Steve & Bonnie

2010-11-23T22:49:00.000-05:00

November 23, 2010

Today has been one of the longer days we have experienced since this journey has started. Late this afternoon we taken back a little when we learned that the doctors wanted to move Bonnie from her comfortable familiar location on Sparrow Hospital’s 5 West tower (where we know all the nursing and management staff and they know Bonnie) to the Intensive Care Unit.

Bonnie’s fever spiked back up to 101 degrees last night and then as the early morning hours rolled around her vital signs started to be a little off. Her heart rate was/is elevated, blood pressure low and oxygen level in the blood low. They started her on oxygen around 6:00 this morning and she continues to receive it tonight. Her temperature was closer to normal this morning and at an acceptable level for her to get her 6th bone marrow biopsy. Initial pathology results should be back tomorrow.

Throughout the day her vital signs continued to be up and down so the doctors made the decision that she should be more closely monitored and thus the precautionary measure of relocating her to ICU. Staying on 5 West would have been 1 nurse to 5 patient ratio and tonight in ICU it is 1 nurse with Bonnie.

Needless to say it was a little unsettling for all of us as we moved Bonnie to an older part of the hospital in an area that is for the most part locked down from too much activity. Only immediate family can visit, limited to two at any given time, no cell phones and a lot of monitors, beeping, IVs, and nursing attention. The entire scene and disruption has created additional anxiety for Bonnie.

The fever is very persistent and for awhile was back up in the high 101 range, but finally got within range for another blood transfusion, as her hemoglobin has dropped down again and may be contributing to her high heart rate, low blood pressure and low blood oxygen. The labs drawn tonight showed her white blood cells dropping down to 180.

They have drawn several blood cultures to see what infection and/or fungal is contributing to the depletion of her white blood cells. Tonight they gave her a second IV (which the selected vein to use was very painful accessing), so they could run additional products simultaneously.

For several hours they had a large oxygen mask with an inflatable bag that was strapped to her head to increase the amount of oxygen. The corners of the mask cut across her jaw and put pressure right on the areas where she has a couple of the more severe mouth sores. Meanwhile she was having difficulty breathing through her nose as the mask pulled her mouth open, drying it out. Bottom line is, a long night ahead is pending. I pleaded with the nurse to try just the nose oxygen hose before leaving and thankful that proved to be adequate in keeping her oxygen at an acceptable level. This change seemed to calm her down a little, along with no initial signs of any allergic reaction to a new anti-fungal med being infused.

I know through our network of friends that word would get out that Bonnie was moved to the ICU. We appreciate all the care and concern on Bonnie’s behalf, and want you to know the specific words Bonnie’s doctor said, “we want to move Bonnie to the ICU as a precautionary measure to closely monitor what is going on with her vitals.”

I sound like a broken record, but specific ways to pray include Bonnie’s comfort and peace in the midst of a new environment and uncertainties that lie ahead, wisdom for the medical team to determine what specifically is going on, understanding for the kids, and I guess stamina for me (Steve). Thank you!

Steve and Bonnie

2010-11-22T23:26:00.000-05:00

November 22, 2010

It's been a long day, but feel I should update you all on Bonnie's situation. Today she was admitted to the hospital as she woke up this morning with a temperature of 104 degrees. In addition she had GI tract issues (aka: diarrhea)this morning which is something she hasn't dealt with since her 58 day marathon in the hospital at the onset of the leukemia in 2009.

Her temperature stayed between 103 and 104 degrees for most of the day and physically took a toll on Bonnie. Between the combination of prayers mixed with ice packs around her body and heavy duty antibiotics her fever broke this evening and when I left the hospital at 11:00 tonight, her temperature was 98.4 degrees.

She is still having some GI issues, so that remains a concern as this could be Graft vs Host Disease flaring up where we don't want it to. It could also be something related to the fever. Key to this is the GI tract being replenished with new white blood cells, which is something Bonnie currently does not have which is the million dollar question...why did her white blood cell count drop down next to nothing?

The most logical theory from Bonnie's brother is that her body is fighting an infection of some sort and the white blood cells she has have been used up in attacking the infection and because she has a compromised bone marrow system (due to the transplant), her bone marrow can't keep up making new white blood cells to replace the ones fighting the infection.

Unfortunately with all of this, it is requiring another bone marrow biopsy tomorrow. Something Bonnie said she would never have done again. On the plus side of things, as an "inpatient" they can give her all kinds of meds to help her forget the procedure and be happy the doctors came to visit.

You can pray that she won't be anxious leading up to the procedure (we are unsure of the time at this point) and that the pathology might be able to identify what is going on with her system at this point.

Thanks for your continued interest and care.

Steve (and Bonnie)

2010-11-21T11:55:00.000-05:00

November 21, 2010

Just a quick update on Bonnie since the last post on Thursday November 18th. This past Friday, we were able to get into the hospital for a blood transfusion for the purpose of increasing Bonnie’s hemoglobin to give her some needed energy. Two units of blood take almost an entire day to transfuse, however Bonnie had energy within an hour of the first unit. It really was amazing as her color changed and she wasn’t sleepy, even with the pretreatment of Benadryl and Tylenol.

We thought this might give her the boost and jump start she needed and additional strength to endure the sores in her mouth and under her tongue. The multiple canker type sores under her tongue are equivalent in size to a large kidney bean and inside her cheeks similar in size to a quarter. Along with the sores on the inside of her lips is quite a bit of swelling. All of this is attributable to the reduction of the steroids and immune suppressant meds to increase the graft versus host disease to fight the leukemia due.

We just arrived home from the hospital where they did additional blood labs and met with the doctors in radiation therapy. Bonnie’s white blood cell (WBC) count has fallen to 600 (again, normal range is 4,000 to 12,000) and the neutrophils (the WBCs that fight infection) are 10 (normal being 2,000 to 10,000).

So for now, Bonnie is extremely immune compromised. We don’t know why her numbers have fallen. Radiation therapy says that the type of radiation she is receiving would not cause the WBC number to go down like it has. Bonnie’s BMT doctors were leaning more towards radiation causing it, so for now we wait and see.

We did find some leftover magic mouthwash from when Bonnie received her BMT as that process also has mouth sores of a different type. The mouthwash is giving her temporary relief for 25 or 30 minutes, but that doesn’t help during the night for sleep. Thanks for praying. Please continue to pray that the WBCs will increase on their own, that she can get much needed rest and have healing in her mouth.

I’m sure many of you know or have memorized the following verse from the book of James 1:2-4:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Pray that we will have joy in the midst of this trial, that our faith will be strengthened, and that we will persevere to the end. We know Bonnie will at some point be made “perfect and lacking in nothing” in God’s timing, whenever He decides. Thank you for your love and support.

Steve and Bonnie

2010-11-18T17:20:00.000-05:00

November 18, 2010

It can’t be said enough, thank you again for your prayers and interest in Bonnie’s condition. We continue to labor over future decisions on what to do, although if you were to ask Bonnie today, she wouldn’t do another bone marrow transplant. Any final decisions are a few weeks away, but she is more than convinced that she doesn’t have the strength to go through it again. I don’t blame her, nor do the kids, if she chooses not to do so, as she has been through a war the past year and a half.

In the past few days her physical condition has declined a little. We are not sure how much of the fatigue is from the radiation or from something else. Her mouth sores continue to prohibit her from eating solid food, so her diet consists of protein shakes. She had blood work done yesterday and the results are a little concerning. Her hemoglobin continues to decline so the doctors have given orders for two units of red blood to be infused tomorrow (Friday). This is a 4 to 6 hour process and always carries the risk of allergic reaction, so please pray that the process will be without incident. Hopefully this will increase the hemoglobin and give Bonnie some much needed energy.

Equally concerning is the White Blood Cell (WBC) count which has fallen to 900 (normal range is 4,000 to 12,000). Of the 900 WBCs, only 360 are neutrophils, the important WBCs that fight infection. Normal ranges are 65% to 80% of the WBCs being neutrophils and Bonnie is only at 40%, making her neutropenic. The last time she was neutropenic was immediately following the bone marrow transplant in October 2009. We don’t have a good answer at this point why this has occurred, as in the past it always occurred following chemotherapy. If the leukemia were flaring back up in her bone marrow and peripheral blood, her WBC count would be quickly increasing with blast cells. The problem with being neutropenic, in addition to the susceptibility of infection, is the temporary postponing of her final 5 radiation treatments. It’s radiation therapy policy to suspend radiation treatments when a patient is neutropenic.

On the flip side, the doctors do not want to give Bonnie neupogen, which is an injection to stimulate the bone marrow to produce more WBCs, as they don’t want to stimulate any existing leukemic activity. So, we wait it out to see if the numbers come up and improve and most likely she will have another blood draw on Sunday.

Tomorrow night (Friday) is a special evening out that our family has celebrated with another family for over 15 years; dinner, followed by Silver Bells in the City and the lighting of the Christmas tree at the State Capitol. Bonnie and I missed it last year while we were living in Detroit after the bone marrow transplant. We were looking forward to it this year, with Cassandra coming home from college, so we could all be together. With Bonnie’s condition it doesn’t look as though she will be able to go, which is a little discouraging and disappointing to all of us. Please continue to pray that she would experience God’s peace, would regain her strength and that her WBC count would come up to normal levels. Thank-you!

Steve and Bonnie

2010-11-12T22:02:00.000-05:00

November 12, 2010

Greetings. Today Bonnie had a regularly scheduled visit to the Bone Marrow Transplant unit at Karmanos. The news was not what we wanted to hear, however we do feel it important to update this blog because of your faithfulness in praying for Bonnie and the rest of our family over the past year and a half. We are at a fork in the road with a decision pending on the direction to turn, knowing that regardless of the decision, the long range outlook or prognosis of either direction is laden with challenges.

The good news is that Bonnie has completed twelve of twenty radiation treatments and the leukemia mass in her breast is shrinking. The radiation is now starting to create additional fatigue as well as loss in appetite, but that was to be expected. She will complete radiation on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving which addresses the immediate need, but today’s visit at the clinic was in part to discuss the future course Bonnie should take for long term treatment.

We learned today that the chance of the leukemia recurring is 100% and that this mass in her breast is not a single incidence, but just the first recurrence. Because of this, the doctors at the BMT clinic are recommending another bone marrow transplant using a different donor. What this would involve would be another round of chemo for a week with the objective to kill off as much of the leukemia as possible, followed by surgery to implant a new central vein line catheter, another week of chemo to eliminate the new bone marrow she has developed, concluded with the stem cell transplant. What we know about second transplants is they are much harder on the body and the percentages of success are less than a first transplant. If you have followed this blog leading up to Bonnie’s first transplant, you may remember that we were told that even with a transplant there was a 50% chance the leukemia would recur in the first five years; of course Bonnie’s recurring within the first year. With a second transplant, the statistics show that there is a greater chance of recurrence in the first five years. Of course what was not stated above, are the entire issues post transplant that Bonnie has dealt with for over a year now from the first transplant. She is tired, has a mouth and throat full of sores, can’t shake colds and other illness, continues to take multiple pills several times each day and has to be mindful of all the dos and don’ts. She is weary (we all are weary) and to think about going through all this again with the potential long term outcome having poorer odds than the initial transplant, it is overwhelming.

The alternative is to not do another transplant. The doctors said if that was the decision that they would change up some of the medications and when the leukemia surfaced they would treat it with chemo to settle it down. This would be the process each time the leukemia recurs, however it will get to the point where the chemo will not work anymore and at that juncture their focus would be on Bonnie’s comfort.

In the interim, the BMT doctors are initiating the process for a second transplant; insurance approvals and donor identified. This process will take several weeks, so no decisions will need to be made until this occurs. So during this window is where Bonnie and the rest of us will pray about and evaluate the direction to go. Please pray for wisdom, clarity and discernment, as well as peace, as we struggle with this decision. We trust, take rest in, and thoroughly believe God is in control of all circumstances and situations, regardless of the pain, suffering and heartache. One of the kids said “it isn’t fair”. I can only hold fast to the fact that life isn’t fair and take comfort in the fact that throughout scripture there are occasions to look at that “weren’t fair”. In the book of Genesis, Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery and then he was falsely accused by his master’s wife and thrown in jail. Was that “fair”, maybe not, but God had a greater purpose that unfolds later in his Word. In the book of Exodus, when Moses sent out twelve spies to scope out the Promised Land, only two of the twelve, Caleb and Joshua, had the faith and confidence in God to take the land. Yet all of Israel sided with the other ten spies and were afraid and lacked faith. The result was God’s discipline of 40 years wandering in the desert waiting for a generation to die off. Was that “fair” to Caleb and Joshua that they had to wait 40 years to enter the land? Maybe, maybe not, but God kept his word and Caleb and Joshua endured and were strategically used by God in conquering the Promised Land. Finally, was it fair that Jesus endured the abuse, scourging and crucifixion as an innocent man? It was the ultimate sacrifice for our benefit to appease God’s wrath because of our sin. All we have to do is put our faith and trust in Him and seek his forgiveness. By doing so assures us eternity with Him and then all those “life isn’t fair” moments become a little easier to endure.

Please pray that we will persevere and endure this trial and make sound decisions. Thank you for your ongoing support.

Steve and Bonnie

2010-10-25T18:59:00.001-04:00

October 25, 2010

Just a quick update on the latest with Bonnie. She had a consultation appointment today with the radiologist to discuss radiation therapy on the mass in her breast. The mass was approximately 4cm x 4cm a week ago and is now 5.8cm x 8cm so there is an additional level of urgency in commencing with the radiation. She is scheduled for simulation setup tomorrow which simply is establishing her position on the table and the coordinates and measurements for the targeted radiation. The data is then transferred to the computer controls of the actual radiation machinery. (A personal note to Marty, our friend who is the chief physicist in the radiology department: I’m sorry for my simplistic description of the simulation and setup when in reality it is a very precise and complicated procedure and calibration of highly specialized equipment!)

Radiation will actually start on Thursday this week. The duration is uncertain at this stage; however the doctor did indicate that something like this could be 5 times per week for 6 weeks.

We have yet to receive any additional information on the more detailed aspects of the bone marrow biopsy from last week. We are hopeful for more positive news on these test to be shared at Bonnie’s Karmanos Clinic visit this Wednesday. In the meantime we are back to “one day at a time” mode, which is tiring in and of itself, but in the greater scheme of things, more useful for Bonnie’s and our endurance at this point in time. Thanks for the prayers!

Steve and Bonnie

2010-10-22T20:32:00.000-04:00

October 22, 2010

Thanks again for you interest and care for Bonnie and her prognosis. Yesterday we received the initial results for the bone marrow biopsy showing it to be clear of the leukemia. Obviously this is good and an answer to prayer, however there are still results pending that involve more thorough tests that should be returned later next week.

Based on this information, the direction our team of doctors is recommending for treatment of the mass is radiation or surgery, either being equally effective, but the preference for radiation. With that said, Bonnie is scheduled Monday for a consultation with the radiation department at Sparrow hospital and hopefully followed by the set up simulation on Tuesday. This department is very busy so it is difficult to schedule something quickly; however we are very fortunate to have a good friend who works in this area which has helped in moving Bonnie up the list. Moving quickly is important as the mass continues to grow and there is an underlying concern that the immature white blood cells (leukemia) in the mass could possibly find their way into Bonnie’s blood stream which would be a major setback. So please pray that the radiation can commence as soon as mid to late next week.

We are back to taking it one day at a time, but once the mass has been dealt with, the Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic at Karmanos needs to address a different issue: why was there a recurrence of the leukemia when everything was pretty much “textbook” with Bonnie’s transplant. Meaning, the transplant went as it was suppose to and she has had a level of Graft vs Host Disease (GVHD) since the transplant that should have kept any remaining leukemia cells from recurring. The doctors have speculated or conjectured that Bonnie may need another bone marrow transplant from a different donor. At this point, let’s just say that it is within the realm of possibility, but difficult to contemplate going through that again.

So, the easiest thing to do is to put all the fears and anxious thoughts in God’s hands and trust that He continues to have a plan that is beyond our ability to understand. Do we still have our moments? Yes, but your prayers continue to lift us up to God who engulfs us in His peace.

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

All glory, honor and praise belong to God and Him alone. As additional information becomes available we will share it with you.

Steve and Bonnie

2010-10-19T20:29:00.001-04:00

October 19, 2010

Thank you for your prayers and notes of encouragement today. The bone marrow biopsy Bonnie endured today was painful, but necessary. She did well and should have got a sheet full of stickers to take home, but instead all she got was a very sore back side that is still tender to sit or lay on. The results of the biopsy will start to trickle in on Thursday or Friday of this week with more in-depth analyses next week and will serve as the physicians’ guide to treatment.

The lump/mass Bonnie found last week is called myeloid sarcoma which is a tumor made up of useless white blood cells called myeloblasts. Previously we described that a key element of the bone marrow transplant is Graft vs Host Disease (GVHD). A mild ongoing case of GVHD helps to keep the remaining rogue leukemia cells that are floating around in Bonnie’s body more or less contained to prohibit relapses in the leukemia. A simple explanation would be that one of these (maybe more) leukemia cells escaped through the GVHD gatekeeper and found its way to the breast tissue and the immature white blood cells formed the lump/mass.

The hope is that this is a single “localized” mass and nothing further. If that is the case, the best case scenario is radiation of the area containing the mass with the potential of a mastectomy, subject to concurrence of our team of physicians. It is our understanding that it’s a little rare for myeloid sarcoma to appear in the breast tissue, so at this point we’re not sure what the clinical treatment/trials recommend.

For now the doctors have reduced the amount of steroids and immune suppressants Bonnie is taking to allow the GVHD to flair up more than its current state. If there is something brewing in her bone marrow, an increase in GVHD may aid in settling things down. The challenge is keeping the GVHD manageable and not getting out of control. Manageable means potentially more skin rashes, mouth sores, dry mouth/eyes, fingernails deformed/cracking, etc. Out of control would be GVHD in Bonnie’s liver and/or GI tract.

Once we have a clearer picture of what lies ahead we will update this blog. So in the interim, please specifically pray that the results of the bone marrow biopsy are good, that the lump is indeed localized just to the breast tissue, that Bonnie can endure the added discomfort of the increased GVHD, that the GVHD will not get out of control, that Bonnie doesn’t experience any additional fatigue from the steroid reduction, that we will continue to be at peace through this ongoing battle and that God will continue to give us emotional strength. Thanks again for your care and concern.

Steve & Bonnie

2010-10-18T21:30:00.000-04:00

October 18, 2010

Well, it’s been a long time since we have updated our blog because no news has been good news. Unfortunately the journey for Bonnie has veered off the course we’ve been traveling since her bone marrow transplant a year ago October 9th. Last week Bonnie discovered a sizable lump on the side of her breast and Wednesday was a day of ultrasounds/mammograms and doctor examination followed by a biopsy of the breast tissue. The pathology report of the biopsy of the mass in her breast just came back today and it shows a relapse of the leukemia that presents itself in the soft tissues as opposed to the blood.

At this point we don’t know much more than that. We do know that Bonnie is scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy at 9:00 tomorrow morning at Karmanos with the resulting pathology report due back hopefully by the end of the week. At that point the doctors will have a better picture of what we are dealing with and how best to treat this new development. The bone marrow biopsy is not a pleasant procedure so please pray that Bonnie will not be anxious thinking about it as we drive 1½ hours down to Karmanos.

For the past six months, Bonnie’s physical condition has been in line where the doctors expected her to be. She has had monthly visits to Karmanos for blood work and examinations. Besides white blood cells and platelets, the doctors have kept a close eye on her liver and kidney numbers. As her blood work fluctuated and the Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD) presented itself in irritating, but necessary ways, such as sores in the mouth, skin rashes, dry mouth, etc., the doctors have tweaked and modified Bonnie’s medications to balance the suppression of her immune system with the containment of the GVHD. The ideal situation following a bone marrow transplant is to have some minor GVHD to ward off and close the door on any rogue leukemia cells floating around, so the doctors have seen it from a positive perspective that Bonnie has had some GVHD.

We were told at the time of the transplant that there was a 50% chance the leukemia could come back in the first 5 years, yet this new development was still an unwelcome surprise, considering Bonnie just had a good clinic visit on October 8th. As we learn more and have information to share we will continue to pass along through this blog.

In the event you were wondering about my (Steve’s) status, I still remain in remission and just recently had my “infusaport” removed, which was a relief, after carrying it around inside me for the past 1½ years.

As we have mentioned several times in the past, we know God is at work in many ways with the circumstances we continue to face and today God once again solidified that in our minds. Before we were aware of the results of the pathology report and before we received a call from the doctor, God prepared Bonnie and the kids in advance as they were reading from the Bible this morning. Bonnie was reading from Matthew 6 and came across the following verses, which we have read many times over the years:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? “

Matthew 6:25-27

Following this, Bonnie went to a list of verses she has been compiling over the summer to add this text to the list and the verses on the top of the list were from Psalm 112:

“Happy are those who fear the Lord. Yes, happy are those who delight in doing what he commands….When darkness overtakes the godly, light will come bursting in. They are generous, compassionate, and righteous….They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. They are confident and fearless and can face their foes triumphantly.”

Psalms 112: 1,4, 7-8

So as we enter this new road with all its uncertainties, one thing that is certain; God’s word and His faithfulness. What a comfort and joy to know that in spite of our frailties and weaknesses, He knows what we can handle. Please pray that God will continue to pour out His abundant peace on our family and that He will give the doctors, as well as us, wisdom and discernment in the next steps to take as the pending tests and results provide the necessary information. Thank you for your faithfulness in prayer.

Steve and Bonnie

2010-05-03T21:48:00.000-04:00

May 3, 2010

This is an update to all our wonderful friends and family. We were reminded two weeks ago Wednesday, as I had an unexpected stay at Sparrow Hospital, that we hadn’t updated our blog in quite awhile. Our wonderful nursing staff took great care of me again and we got caught up on the latest happenings in their lives in the last 8 months. Lisa got a promotion, Brenda can still see in the dark and Carly’s smile is still contagious! I think we got to see everyone. Steve and I were glad to be sent home on Friday after a chest x-ray, sinus CT scan and a few IV bags of Vancomycin and some other strong antibiotic. For all of you who didn’t know, but were still faithfully praying for me, I have been fighting an ongoing cough/sinus cold for 8 weeks. I feel fine, just a little tired since my Bone Marrow Transplant team has reduced my steroids which gave me energy to burn. I was on an antibiotic for 6 days when Wednesday, April 21st, I spiked a fever of 101.6. We are suppose to go to Karmanos for a full battery of tests whenever it goes above 100.5, so we had to decide if we should make the trip to Detroit or get them done locally. After about an hour of prayer and Steve’s call for an available bed we headed back to 5 West at Sparrow. The girls there were already for me and vitals were taken right away and guess what, no fever! They drew blood, took blood cultures to see if anything would grow, did a chest x-ray, and a CT scan on my sinuses. By Thursday afternoon all the results came back negative. Steve laughed and proceeded to compare me to taking his car in to the mechanic when you hear a squeak and the mechanic call and tells you he has driven it several times and can’t seem to find a problem. We don’t know why, but God does, and it was nice to walk in and see everyone on 5 West, but home was so sweet!

I am down to having appointments every 3 weeks at Karmanos and they continue to reduce my immune-suppressant drugs as my body starts to become friends with my new bone marrow. These suppressants are what keep me out of crowds and public places without a mask on. It’s not the places that give me the colds, it’s what my family brings home. They have a cold for 3 or 4 days and I keep them 2 weeks, with this current one at 8 weeks. Continue to pray for the health of my family and that my liver enzymes will continue to stay normal. When the enzymes go up, they will increase my medications to settle down the Graft-Host Disease, which results in a longer recovery and no crowds. Either way we know that we are getting the best care, as God is in charge of both Steve and my health.

Update on Steve. He has had two PET scans and one CT scan since his last radiation treatment at the end of September. Things continue to stay in remission and no signs of any tumor growth on his sacrum. We are so blessed and are ready to for an uninterrupted celebration May 12th, Callie’s 15th birthday. That will be 1 year ago that I was admitted to the hospital and missed the end of her day. We are looking forward to a strong and healthy summer with family that we have missed dearly - Fourth of July at Lake Charlevoix and a Gray Family reunion in Gaylord.

Our family continues to look for a “new” normal as we daily look to God for wisdom and guidance. One thing is for certain; our faith is so much deeper and our trust in His sovereign will is so much stronger than a year ago. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have daily trials, or tough decisions continually looming at our door, because we do. Both Steve and I get discouraged with our limitations and how everything has changed. But we hold fast to scripture like Romans 8:28, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.” With that in the forefront of our minds, our family responds differently to those daily decisions.

One last thing. We’re so thankful for Steve’s cousin Susan who ran the Flying Pig half marathon this past Sunday for the Lymphoma & Leukemia Society’s Team in Training. She and her daughter Jenny ran in the rain early Sunday morning in Cincinnati in our honor and we have attached a picture of them in this blog post.

Once again, thank you for all of your support through prayer and words of encouragement.

Love Bonnie (and Steve too!)

2010-03-11T20:23:00.000-05:00

Hello to all our friends and loved ones,

Here is a long overdue update on how I’m doing. I go to Karmanos every other week. They draw blood and if everything looks good, they decrease my medications by 2 pills. 6 weeks ago, my liver enzymes went up so they increased my steroids to 8 pills per day. I now am down to 2 each morning and hoping on my next visit, March 19th, they will take me totally off them. That would be the first time since my transplant on Oct. 9th that I haven’t been on steroids. It just goes to show that Graft vs Host Disease (GVHD) is continually a challenge. After 100 days they call it chronic GVHD that comes on very slowly and it usually likes to attack your organs like your liver, intestinal tract and kidneys. Sounds pretty scary, but the good news is my GVHD has reared its ugly head twice affecting my liver and responded very well with the steroids. Hopefully my next visit, if everything is still stable, I will begin once a month trips to Detroit. Yea! The downfall to that is my meds are only reduced at my appointments and since I am on 42 pills a day, it will be years before I am weaned off them all. We’re hopeful to start an every other week blood draw here in Lansing and have the doctor adjust my medications over the phone. Until they can reduce my anti-rejection/immune suppressant, (I take 26 of those a day) I still have to avoid groups of people, anyone who has a cold, and wear a mask out in public.

That’s kind of an update for the past 8 weeks. I’m great, but get a little tired in the evenings. I’m fighting a little head cold but as long as it doesn’t come with a cough or a fever, I’ll be fine. I walk 4 miles, 3 days a week and with the weather in the 50’s the last couple days, I’m hoping to walk outside in the evenings. My skin color is still a little brown and blotchy; I eat almost everything except Caesar salads or things containing raw egg. Bacteria can be very dangerous.

I was blessed to have my Hickman catheter removed 2 weeks ago which was used for Magnesium supplements due to it being depleted by one of the immune suppressant meds. After waiting 7 days for the skin to heal, I was able to put my whole body under the shower for the 1st time since Oct. 2nd. Life is good!

On to more praises, I have hair!! I’m sporting about 1 ½” of brown on the top. You can’t see any on the sides but it’s there – all gray! I still wear baseball hats instead of my wig, even to church. The bright colored hats look a little better with the mask on my face. When I wear my wig people think I have some contagious disease. I was even asked in Meijer if I had H1N1. My finger nails have all fallen off and new ones are ¾ the way there. They look as short as Steve’s. They might be long enough to polish for Easter – I’ll pick a color that matches my cool lipstick that one of Steve’s cousins gave me.

I’m doing most of the laundry, all the meals and most of the shopping again. The kids still clean and vacuum since the chemicals and dust could be a problem with my lungs. Every food tastes normal, well almost. I have always loved tomatoes in any form and I can’t even stand the smell of spaghetti sauce - Go figure!

I’m so thankful that I can drive again. As I was sitting in the van, with the window down I was reflecting on how blessed our family is to have such wonderful support and amazing pray warriors who got us through 2009. I can’t tell you how emotional I get thinking of each of you and those I don’t even know, who have made meals, sent cards, verses, taken our children to all their activities, brought gifts and faithfully lifting us to the Lord. I know how long those prayer lists get and how little time some of you have each morning. This ordeal has changed us forever. I know my odds of surviving the leukemia weren’t very good and I was so sick sometimes, it would have been easier to give up. Steve would update the blog and the body of Christ would begin to pray and obviously God wasn’t finished with me yet. Thank you.

We have been asked by so many, “Have you ever wondered why both of you got cancer within 3 weeks of each other?” I was definitely too sick to answer that question clearly, but would love to share some of my thoughts with you now. I know Steve has so eloquently put it in so many of his blog updates that we believe God has the power to heal. Either by a miracle or by the gifts he has given man through medicine. We pray for complete healing of our cancers through either means and we will give him all the glory. We are also aware that healing is not God’s plan for everyone. I know many who have been spared and many whom the Lord has called home. Either way, God had His plan and purpose in each situation, some of these we may never understand this side of eternity. Isaiah 55: 8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” This tells us that even when we think we know best, God sees far beyond my trial. God saw those molecular developments in our bodies changing into cancer and he could have stopped it, but he chose not to for our own good as well as others. Our family has come face to face with death and we have reflected on it a lot earlier than I think our kids wanted us to.

I was reminded by a friend of an article by John Piper called, “Don’t Waste Your Cancer.” He wrote this on the eve of his own cancer surgery in Feb. 2006. One of the points in the article talked about how it would be a waste of cancer if we didn’t think about death. Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering our days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will we get a heart of wisdom if we refuse to think about death?

His last point in the article talked about how it is a waste of your cancer if you don’t use it as an opportunity to show others the truth and glory of Christ. Luke 21:12-13 says, “They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name sake. This will be an opportunity to bear witness.” Steve and our family have tried to take this opportunity to show you that this trial only draws us closer to Him. His promises are worth more than life itself and we definitely don’t want to waste it.

As you each face your trials, know that you are not alone. You will have the help you need when you call on Him. Philippians 4:19; “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” As I said at the beginning of this post, this was long overdue update. I probably should have said this is an overdue update that is long. Sorry for the length.

God Bless You,
Love Bonnie (and Steve)

P.S. Just wanted to remind you that another one of Steve’s cousins is running in a marathon to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. She continues to raise support for this cause. If you are so inclined to do so, you can visit her website, http://pages.teamintraining.org/mi/flypig10/svosscto learn more about making a donation.

2010-01-29T19:36:00.000-05:00

Friday - January 29, 2010

It is amazing to me how fast time passes. We haven’t updated our blog for 2 weeks now. As usual, no news is good news at the Opper house. It’s great to share with you so many praises. I didn’t have to go to Karmanos this Thursday, but instead I will go next Thursday at 9:00. My liver enzymes were up slightly, from 50 to 67 while on 16 mg. of steroids, but my doctors weren’t too concerned. They are quite confident that this is chronic graph vs. host disease trying to raise its ugly head, so they will take me off the steroids slowly one pill at a time (per visit). I am still getting a magnesium infusement every other night for 3 hours. This will continue until I am taken off the tacrolimus (an anti-rejection and immune suppressant drug). The tacro draws magnesium out of my body which could affect my heart. I am currently taking 20 pills a day and it could take up to one year to wean me off them. The goal is to slowly increase my magnesium pills so I can stop the infusements altogether. This will allow the removal of the Hickmen catheter in my chest, which would be great, as there is always the potential of infection. My hair is starting to grow back, ¼” per month, Yeah! It doesn’t seem to be curly, which we heard is sometimes the case after chemo.. I’m just excited to have some hair for warmth. I don’t know how you guys do it, when my neck is cold, I’m cold all over.

I was thrilled to be able to mask up and attend another basketball game of Caleb’s. I definitely stand out in the crowd. I’m the bald one, in a pink baseball cap with ¾ of my face covered by a yellow mask! Little children are frightened to death and stay as far away as possible. I have to admit, I look pretty scary. I was able to visit with a friend who has lost the sight in one eye, through a tragic ordeal. We were able to laugh and cry, or at least I cried (what a surprise!). We talked about the twists and turns our lives have taken this past year. But one message rang clear, God has a purpose and plan in both our situations, and His grace is sufficient to carry our families through. She even had the opportunity to tell her story at our Teenworks home school group on Wednesday. She did a wonderful job, as only Mary Grace can do and it was very clear to the audience that God’s sovereign hand was in every step of her accident.

Such is with each of our lives. Tragedy will happen and where will your source of strength come from? Will it draw you nearer to Him or will you let bitterness and resentment take root. Could it be that one of Satan’s major strategies is to divert us from praising God. He knows that God delights in our praise and understands the rich blessing of praising Him brings to us. Like Paul, you can be “sorrowful yet always rejoicing” – 2 Corinthians 6:10. We can groan about our sufferings in this fallen world, but still triumph in the hope that through our suffering the Savior’s purpose will be fulfilled. So let’s take some time out of our busy day and celebrate in His sovereign will, His limitless power and his unconditional love.

Blessings to you all,

Bonnie

2010-01-14T18:54:00.001-05:00

Thursday 1/14/10

Happy New Year! I guess we can still say that fourteen days into 2010. This update is long overdue as it becomes increasingly evident as each day goes by and we hear from more friends wondering about Bonnie’s status. As our life sloooowly transitions back to a “new” normalcy, updating this with a new post gets overlooked and we apologize for not being as faithful as we should in keeping you up to date.

Overall Bonnie is doing well in the eyes of the team of her doctors. With that said, it has had its ups and downs. We are still traveling down to Detroit once a week for a clinic visit, but as Bonnie now approaches Day 100 post transplant (today is day 97), we’re looking forward to the day when the visits become every other week, then once a month, etc. About three weeks ago, Bonnie’s liver enzymes increased above a normal level. This is something the doctors watch closely and felt it was caused by one of the meds she is (was) on, multiple blood transfusions (which she had last summer) or graft versus host disease (GVHD). They eliminated the med and replaced it with an alternate and the next week the enzyme numbers were even higher, but not a “dangerous” level, but of concern. The doctors increased Bonnie’s steroid level last week and today the liver enzymes were back down to a level lower than three weeks ago, so that was an answer to prayer. They are going to continue Bonnie on the higher steroid amount for the next week and the reevaluate her prognosis again.

The other issue of concern has been a horrible cold Bonnie developed over a week ago. Fortunately there has been no sign of infection, so it has just been a chest cold hanging on tight. Today she received an IV bottle of “immune booster” which our Nurse Practitioner said should help Bonnie fight off the cold.

Please pray for Bonnie’s mental endurance in addition to physical endurance. As the days go by we continue to learn more about her long term condition and care. It can still be overwhelming as we ask more questions and gather more answers. It can become discouraging to Bonnie thinking about the prospects of hitting Day 100 does not necessarily mean she is “out of the woods”. She is on the right path, but GVHD can hit anytime, including years from now, it’s just an unknown she has to manage mentally. More than likely she will be on “anti-rejection” meds for over a year, which means she will have to continue with many precautions such as wearing a protective mask going out in public, staying covered up when going out in the sun and many other restrictions. We are, however, very grateful for each day God has given her and will give her in the future and with minor modifications and adjustments we can adapt to a new “normal” lifestyle.

Because of the many prayer warriors who read this, we have a specific request for family friends of ours. Their (almost) twelve year old son, Micah, has recently been diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma. They are currently at Mayo Clinic as his condition was very difficult to diagnose. We don’t have many details at this point, but pray for the doctors’ wisdom as they begin his treatment and for peace for Micah and his family.

Blessings to all,

Steve and Bonnie

2009-12-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas greetings to all our family and friends,

This year was one of God’s sustaining grace. Our family is continually humbled by your constant prayers, encouraging notes, meals and gifts that continue to flood in. 2009 has been a challenge. The Lord called both of my fathers home and I was diagnosed on May 12th with leukemia. I was in the hospital for both the funerals and four weeks later, Steve had an MRI for chronic back pain and discovered he had a tumor on his tailbone, stage 1- lymphoma. It has been living one day at a time since then. We appreciate the small things in life and are thankful for every opportunity we have to tell others how our Lord and Savior is walking with us each step of the way. Steve finished his radiation and chemotherapy just in time for us to move down to Detroit for the next 100 days where I received a bone marrow transplant on Oct. 9th. I have been so blessed to have Steve by my side day and night for the last 7 months encouraging me and praying with me when I felt so overwhelmed and discouraged. My mom moved in with the kids for most of the time, while Steve’s parents and other friends picked up the days she needed to go back to Gaylord. We are so Thankful for the body of Christ as our neighbors, Bible study group, home school families and Steve’s employer continued to support us on a daily basis. We are so thankful to tell everyone that I am home only 52 days after the transplant. I still go to Karmanos once a week for checkups. I am on piles of pills everyday to keep my body from rejecting my donor’s marrow and they are watching me very closely for the next year. There is always a danger of fevers, infections and graph versus host disease (GVHD) which is my old immune system fighting the donor’s stem cells which can cause very serious side effects. So far I have only had a very mild case of GVHD and continue to trust the Lord for my total recovery. Well, this is our 2009 in a nut shell. I get up every day appreciating the simple things in life; laughter, breath, the Lord’s sustaining grace and each of you. If you’d like more specifics, Steve created a blog way back in May with all the scary details and all the praises and victories we saw as we trusted the Lord, one day at a time. The link is www.theopper5.blogspot.com.

Now on to the biggest blessing in my life: my family. Steve and I missed so much of 2009, but the kids’ activities stayed on course, thanks to so many of you! Cassandra graduated from high school. She was a speaker at the commencement exercises and Steve got to hand her a diploma while I watched via satellite from the hospital. Her open house turned out wonderful and came off without a hitch due to our wonderful Bible study families we have been with for the past 19 years. They planned and coordinated everything for us. Other than me not being there, it was wonderful day for Cassandra. She decided to stay home this fall and attend Lansing Community College because of our situation. She is looking forward to transferring to Spring Arbor University next year.

Caleb had the opportunity to spend many days this summer with his six boy cousins (Steve’s sister’s) both at their home and up at the cottage in Charlevoix. In between cousins’ visits, he also found time to caddy again this year at the Lansing Country Club and work on his golf game. It’s hard to believe Caleb is a junior in High School and the same height as Steve. This fall he was blessed to be taken hunting 3 times by wonderful friends. Of course his first time out he shot an 8 point! He also surprised us and decided to play basketball this year and made the JV team. He has retired from piano and bought an electric guitar this summer and continues to hone his skills.

Callie spent a lot of time this summer helping Grandma while she managed the house. She is now in high school and has played volleyball for the last 3 years. She continues to improve and enjoys it very much. Callie also enjoys taking a few classes at Teenworks and loves the social aspect of it. She would spend all her time with friends if she could. She enjoys movies, parties and definitely loves the teenage years. Callie still loves playing the piano and guitar. A highlight of her year was when one of her best friends surprised her and brought up her other best friend from Indiana to hang out for a weekend!

Although this past year has been challenging from a physical and emotional perspective, we are so thankful for the comfort of Jesus, our great high priest. He continues to sustain us and strengthen us spiritually through this trial. As we celebrate the birth of Christ, we are reminded what He says to us in the book of Revelations 3:20:

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”

We are thankful that Jesus is a man of his word. Years ago He stood at both Steve and my doors and knocked. He has come in and dined with us, including those challenging days since May. He is ever present and we are thankful for that and for you. May you have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Love,
The Oppers

2009-11-30T21:06:00.000-05:00

Marvelous Monday,

This is going to be a short, but wonderful blog post for today. Day +52 since Bonnie’s transplant. We had a great Thanksgiving spending it at home. It was hard heading back to our apartment on Friday evening, but it was a little easier knowing that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, the “light” of anticipating returning home to Lansing in the first part of December. Today was Bonnie’s weekly clinic visit and that little flicker of “light” in the tunnel turned out to be a blast of sunshine when the doctor said to Bonnie, “you can go home”. Four sweet words that stunned us.

Tonight we are packing up everything that has accumulated here in Sterling Heights and will head back home tomorrow (Tuesday). This doesn’t mean that Bonnie is out of the wood of potential complications, but she is doing well enough that they feel Lansing is close enough should anything crop up. We learned today that she can get a different type of mouth sore after 100 days as an example. We will continue to go to Karamanos once each week for Bonnie’s regular clinic visit as they monitor her progress.

Thank you for all of your prayers and praying us home. We are so grateful for the support. Please continue to pray that Bonnie’s recovery proceeds as it has, that she will continue to get stronger and will be protected from viruses and infections as she is very susceptible to this due to a very young (52 day old) immune system. Also pray that Bonnie can learn to say “no” and be content on letting others (the kids and me) serve her. Those of you who know her well know that “no” is not in her vocabulary. She will not be able to clean house, drive, leave the house without a mask, be in a lot of public places, or shop as a few examples. She can’t be around live plants and flowers yet, but she can exercise, do laundry, cook and hopefully get to some more of the books she has on her list to read.

Although God has taught us over these many months to rejoice in ALL circumstances, even the most challenging of circumstances, tonight we are combining the inner joy we have strived to have throughout this journey with the added emotion of happiness. We are looking forward to reuniting with our family and friends.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-11-25T21:19:00.000-05:00

Wednesday,

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! We have a lot to be thankful for as God continues to bless us during trials. Bonnie’s recovery from Bone Marrow Transplant continues to follow a path that encourages the doctors and therefore she did receive final confirmation and approval to return to Lansing for Thanksgiving. We will leave the apartment tomorrow morning and stay until Friday afternoon. Bonnie is so excited to be going home for a visit after being away for 55 days.

Assuming she continues to make progress over the weekend, Bonnie starts next week only one day in the clinic which means she is getting closer to going home permanently. She mentioned in the last blog post that the doctors projected going home to be the “first part” of December. We continue to pray that she doesn’t have any setbacks, as she is still in the critical stage of her recovery. Days 30 through 100 post transplant are critical and various complications can arise in a moment’s notice. Saturday Bonnie will be 50 days post transplant, so she is getting there one day at a time.

Once again we are so thankful for all the support many of you have shown to our family since May 12th. From prayers to encouraging notes/cards to meals, every gesture has been greatly appreciated. We would like to share with you one unique way of kindness being expressed towards our situation. Our cousin Susan has joined The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Team in Training and will be running a ½ marathon to raise support and awareness for the LLS. You can learn more about donating to this cause on Susan’s fundraising page.

Please continue to pray for Bonnie’s progress as well as her continued emotional stamina. We hope you have a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-11-21T20:55:00.000-05:00

Saturday,

Here we are a week and a half has gone by and no news on my progress. Remember, no news is usually good news! I have been reading the New Testament since I’ve come down for the BMT here in Detroit and I tear up at Paul’s words from various verses in Romans Chapter 1: “ I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you.” “I remember you in my prayers…I pray that now at last by God’s will, the way may open for me to come to you. I long to see you!”

I miss all of you so much and can’t wait to be back home for the rest of my recovery. Thank you for your continued support through prayer, meals , visits and helping the grandparents get our kids where they need to go each week. We couldn’t have done this without you.

My week consists of Monday and Thursday appointments in Karmanos. Those usually are three hours on a good day followed by another hour dealing with and waiting on the pharmacy for new meds or refills. We come home, eat lunch and then go for a walk. Steve has worked so hard to find some wonderful outdoor parks for me to walk in. Each one has its own delights and even wearing a protective medical mask, it’s a breath of fresh air to be outside. Yes, you heard me right; I am walking pain free once again. Praise the Lord.

Every Wednesday we have lunch with our new friends from Karmanos BMT floor. One patient lives in Milford and got to go home because he was within the one hour radius. Steve, I and another BMT patient have to stay in apartments because we’re over an hour from our homes. It gives us a chance to get out of our apartments for a couple of hours. We encourage each other, compare our past treatments and really enjoy getting to know each other’s families.

We were blessed this past week to see Bible study friends, my Mom and the girls came for a few days. We even got to go to a movie with only 8 people in the theatre, which is important, as I need to avoid heavily populated public places. I have to wear the protective mask everywhere I go. My new immune system is like a 44 day only baby. Any germs/virus I pick up will put me right back in the hospital. I have a mild case of graph vs. host disease on my face and neck in the form of a rash. A skin biopsy confirmed that it is GVHD. It itches quite a bit so the doctors have given me some steroid cream and put me on 24 mgs of oral steroid pills a day. When I am on steroids, my new immune system is weakened even further, so I am more susceptible to picking up viruses.

On a positive note, we received some wonderful news at my last doctor’s appointment. If my graph/host rash continues to improve and no other symptoms appear, Steve and I will be able to go home for Thanksgiving! The doctor even said we could spend the night and come back on Friday! Boy do we have a lot to be thankful for. We will have grandparents, my sister and her two kids from Colorado with us. I will have to wear a mask, but it’s worth it!

The doctor said if everything stays as mild as it is, in a couple weeks she would reduce my appointments to once a week and talk about sending me home. So pray with us that this might be the case. I could be home the 2nd week in December! I realize that God’s in control and His timing is always perfect, but Lansing certainly sounds good right now.

So now that you’re all up to date, I will share some pray requests for the week:

-That my current health status doesn’t become worse which would prohibit me from going home for Thanksgiving.

-That my graph/host would stay mild and no new outbreaks would appear over the next 60 days.

-That my spirits would stay positive as I trust God and His timing for everything. One day at a time.

-That my itching on my neck and face would improve drastically. It gets worse at night and it is very hard for me to sleep even with some medication that is supposed to mask it.

-That our kids will be patient with each other, encouraging each other’s gifts, and demonstrating gentleness during this leg of our journey as we are absent from our home.

This Thanksgiving let’s all count our blessings and thank the Lord for His continued faithfulness in every circumstance.

Blessings to you all,

Bonnie

2009-11-11T20:59:00.000-05:00

Wednesday,

Once again the time has slipped by us and it has been over a week since the last update. We appreciate your checking back to see the latest with Bonnie’s health. So, here is the latest:

First off is an update on Bonnie’s feet. If you recall, she has not been able to walk since we moved to Sterling Heights on October 31st due to the chemo burns. Our insurance company covered the cost to rent a wheel chair which came in handy to get Bonnie out and about. Our apartment is 3 miles from the Oakland Mall, 6 miles from the Somerset Mall and 10 miles from Lakeside Mall, so Bonnie has been wheeled around in the highest concentration of retail in Michigan. Wearing a protective mask and gloves did bring about a few stares here and there, but it was still worth it for Bonnie. In the last three days Bonnie’s feet have dramatically improved. On Monday she was able to walk into Karmanos’ clinic without too much discomfort to where today there was minimal to no pain. Thank you for your specific prayers on this issue.

Bonnie continues to experience nausea and it can come on without notice. Everything tastes like salt water from the ocean, which contributes to the nausea. Fortunately there is a medication that is fairly responsive in masking the nausea making it somewhat easier to cope with.

A specific prayer request now involves a rash that seems to be spreading on Bonnie’s face and neck. Please pray for the doctors’ wisdom in diagnosing and treating it. There are differing opinions on whether it is from an allergic reaction to one of the meds she is taking or if it is Graft vs Host Disease. The challenge is if she is allergic to one of the meds, it will be extremely difficult in determining which one due to number of meds she is taking. They have checked the stem cell donor’s record and have determined he does not have any allergies to medicines. In the interim, they have started Bonnie on a steroid to see if they can control and slow the rash down. Thus far there hasn’t been any improvement; in fact we think it looks worse.

In the midst of the ongoing drama, we’ve had some nice distractions mixed in. Callie came down with Grandma this past Thursday and stayed until yesterday (Tuesday) and went home with Grandpa and Grandma. On Saturday, Cassandra drove down and stayed through Sunday afternoon. It was nice having the girls here this weekend.

Today we had a wonderful lunch and visit with two of Bonnie’s fellow transplant patients along with their spouses that we got to know during the hospital stay. It was encouraging and therapeutic for Bonnie to hear how they are progressing since their transplant which both were two days prior to Bonnie’s. When you travel the road we have been on, it is easy to bond with others traveling the same road. We are thankful to God for these new friendships and we are also thankful for your longstanding friendships as well.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-11-03T19:46:00.000-05:00

Tuesday,

Thank you for your faithfulness in checking for updates. We haven’t been as faithful providing updates since Bonnie was discharged last Wednesday, so this is long overdue.

After being discharged on Wednesday evening, we changed rooms within “Guest Housing” right on the Detroit Medical Center campus where I (Steve) had been staying since October 2nd. We moved from a typical “hotel” style room to a one bedroom suite, which was more like a college dorm. Using the word “suite” does not necessarily mean “sweet”, but it was adjacent to the Karmanos outpatient clinic so we can't complain too much.

On Thursday we had a day off from the clinic, so we had time to drive up to Sterling Heights to sign an open-ended lease on the apartment where we now reside. We also took time to grocery shop to stock the shelves with all the necessities needed. I did the shopping while Bonnie rested in the car.

Bonnie has been instructed to avoid crowed public places for the next several months. She basically has an immune system of an infant that is 25 days old, so she is required to wear a protective mask every time we go out the door. Even alone in the fresh air she has to wear a mask as the wind can stir up various molds and pollens that can easily cause infection.

Thursday night we had a nurse visit our little “suite” to give us instructions on how to self administer an “in-home” daily IV bag of Magnesium mixed with Sodium Chloride that runs for three hours. Combining the IV instructions along with the class/instructions on how to change Bonnie’s central line dressing as well as keeping all her medications straight is quite the challenge. She has three specific meds that are taken at 7:00 a.m., a different one at 8:00 a.m., another kind at 10:00 (actually it is 10 capsules currently, which can increase/decrease depending on her twice weekly blood lab levels), one med at 2:00 p.m., one at 6:00 p.m., and three at 10:00 (one of three being the 10 capsule med again). Including the IV bag of Magnesium from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., as well as all the optional meds for pain and nausea, a degree in Pharmacy is not too far in the distant future.

On Friday, Bonnie had her first visit to the clinic as an outpatient. We were there for six hours or so, as in part, she needed a four hour IV infusion of a special immune booster which is determined by blood labs. Whatever the doctors look for in the “immune” area of the blood labs was lower than they would like to see, thus the booster.

On Friday Bonnie also took a little turn for the worse as it relates to some delayed chemo side effects. The doctors are leaning more towards chemo effects and not Graft v Host Disease, which normally starts showing up after 30 days post transplant (which is this coming Sunday). The side effects are puffy swollen eyes and lips as well as red blotches on her face. This she can deal with. The one thing that has become problematic is the bottom of her feet, which limits her walking because it is so painful. The chemo more or less burned the bottom of her feet, primarily thus far her heels, but it is now spreading to the underside of her toes. Imagine a giant water blister encompassing the entire underside of your foot beneath several layers of skin. The pain is quite unbearable for Bonnie and the pain meds barely touch it.

On Saturday we moved out of the “suite” and into a very well maintained, fully furnished, two bedroom apartment which is only twenty minutes away (non-rush hour) from Karmanos. If we have to be away from our "home" home, we couldn't ask to be in a better spot and are thankful for the friends who have made this available to us as long or as short as we need it.

The foot problem has temporarily ended Bonnie’s walking which is an important aspect of her recovery from the bone marrow transplant. Please pray that her feet will heal and return to normal so she can get out and exercise to continue the progress she has made thus far in the recovery stage of this journey. We did get a wheel chair so she can get outside of the four walls for a change of scenery.

We have had a number of people ask how I (Steve) am doing, so here is an update. I feel great, have a lot of energy to attend to Bonnie’s needs, my hair is growing back and the numbness in my fingers and toes seems to be less. In summary, I feel as close to normal as I have in a long time. Thank you for your continued prayers and interest. We will continue to update you as we have new information.

God bless you all.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-28T17:30:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

Discharge day! After a one day delay, Bonnie was given the green light for discharge this afternoon. At the time of this post, Bonnie is receiving an IV supplement of Magnesium. This is a supplement that she receives every day and will continue for months to come. One of the ongoing medications she is taking depletes the Magnesium level in her body and thus the need for IV. This will be administered at “home” on a daily basis over a three hour period.

The rash is stabilized and one of the chief doctors today thought it could be some Graft Versus Host Disease, but a mild case, and said she could be discharged. For now the nausea Bonnie was experience this past weekend is gone. Her feet and hands are starting to get a little sore like they did with her first rounds of chemo, so a potent cream has been subscribed that will penetrate the thick skin on the balls of her hands and feet.

As we transition to the next phase away from the friendly confines of Bone Marrow Transplant unit here on Ten Webber North, please pray that Bonnie will experience God’s incredible peace instead of an overwhelming undercurrent. On the surface it appears there is a lot to grasp in self administering meds and IVs combined with spending time every other day in the clinic as an outpatient, but in reality it is very manageable. Discharge involves meeting with: (a) the Discharge Planner who explains what is going to happen with the in-home IV and the third party company that will provide the supplies and meds; (b) the Social Worker; (c) the Pharmacist who explains all of the oral meds Bonnie will be taking, what they are for and the frequency she will be taking them; (d) the Nurse Practitioner who has been overseeing her care since day one ; and (e) the Nurse assigned to Bonnie today that has all of the discharge papers and instructions to sign, all of the “if you feel this or get that” call immediately or go to the ER.

With all this said, the doctors are very pleased with Bonnie’s progress and said she is doing very well compared to many patients. They attribute much of this to her diligence in walking everyday. The total distance Bonnie walked since being admitted was 52 miles.

Tonight through Friday we will be staying in guest housing right here on the Detroit Medical Center campus and then moving on Saturday to our temporary apartment in Sterling Heights. Our new address beginning Saturday will be:

Bonnie Opper
2968 Parkway Circle
Sterling Heights, MI 48310

We will continue to update the blog as needed and appreciate your faithfulness in checking it for updates. Once again thank you for your prayers, notes/cards, and other ways you have shown our family love and encouragement throughout this trial.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-27T19:33:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

Leukemia, lymphoma, treatments and transplants limits one’s planning ability, including last minute plans. What we thought would be a day of transition and discharge from the hospital all changed and were postponed. Yes, we were planning to move Bonnie to outpatient housing today, but in hindsight, we are grateful for cautious doctors.

The rash on Bonnie’s face has gotten a little worse compared to yesterday and the physician on rotation without much debate said “let’s keep her for another day of observation”. In other words, they are concerned about rashes, as that can be a sign of Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD) which is essentially Bonnie’s remaining cells fighting the donor’s cells. The doctors wrote an order for a steroid cream that will confirm whether or not what she has is indeed GVHD. If the rash goes away using the cream, this is an indicator that she has GVHD and they will keep her here longer and give her some form of steroid IV. If the rash remains using the cream, it is just a viral issue and they will discharge Bonnie. It seems odd that if the rash goes away “we’ll keep you” and if it stays “you’re free to go”. Bottom line is the doctor’s objective is to minimize the GVHD and keep it out of Bonnie’s GI tract.

It is a little challenging contemplating how to pray for this specific situation, so we are just praying and asking God to do His perfect will that will glorify Himself and at the same time to help us to be content with either outcome. Contentment is easier said than done, yet we know that is what God expects from us no matter the situation we face. We’ve said this more than once, with God there is no such thing as coincidence. Just today I (Steve) read in my daily Bible reading for October 27th, 1 Timothy 6:6-8:

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.”

We have very gifted and competent health care professionals that God has provided to care for Bonnie, and in this “we shall be content.”

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-26T20:37:00.000-04:00

Monday,

It appears as though Bonnie will be discharged tomorrow and we will be entering the next phase of her bone marrow transplant. The discharge is predicated on Bonnie’s ability to swallow a couple of different pills that are a little larger as a replacement to the current IV for of the same medicine. Up until today, Bonnie’s throat has been so severe she has been able to swallow any solid food and it was difficult making sure liquids were going down the right pipe without choking.

The sores in Bonnie’s mouth have healed up well and the remnant left in her throat must be doing the same as she was able to take the medicines this afternoon orally. Assuming her blood numbers continue as they are, there is no reason for her to stay beyond tomorrow, so we will transition to outpatient housing.

We will initially stay in the same facility I (Steve) am staying at right here at the Detroit Medical Center, although we will move into a one-bedroom suite for a little more room. By the end of the week or the first part of next week, we will move to a fully furnished two bedroom apartment in Sterling Heights, which is approximately 20 minutes from the Karmanos Cancer Center.

At the onset of being in outpatient status, Bonnie will most likely be required to go to the clinic three times each week and sometimes it will entail an entire day. A lot of it will depend on how well Bonnie is doing as she gets further out from the transplant day.

Now that the white blood cell count seems to have stabilized and her numbers look good, the WBC are starting to do what they are suppose to do, thus the healing of the mucositis (mouth and throat sores). As Bonnie’s cells continue to die off and the donor’s stem cells continue to produce new cells, Bonnie’s blood type will eventually change to match the donor’s blood type.

Please continue to pray that the Graft Versus Host Disease, which will most likely surface sometime during the first 100 days or so, is minimal. As mentioned previously, the doctors want to see some limited GVHD as this is important in eliminating the genes that are responsible for the leukemia returning. Also pray for Bonnie’s anxiousness as she anticipates leaving the safe confines of the hospital. We have heard and seen many stories of transplant patients who left only to be readmitted a few days later through the ER and ending up back here in the Transplant Unit. It’s very easy to see small changes, like oozing from the eye and small patchy rashes forming on Bonnie’s face combined with the element of the unknown of “what’s next” that creates a level of fear and anxiety.

Our faith and trust continue in the Lord as He is all we need for our security which is the hope we hold onto. It is comforting and reassuring to know that the Psalmist in Psalm 119:71 said “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statues.” We are grateful to God for this trial as He has revealed more of Himself to us and has drawn us nearer to Him, as we traverse through the daily challenges.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-23T16:09:00.000-04:00

Friday,

Bonnie’s transplant was two weeks ago today and she continues to make progress in the doctors’ eyes. This is based on primarily her blood counts, which have come back in a significant way. Her white blood cell (WBC) count is currently at 10,300 (on the blog post Tuesday she was at 5200) and her hemoglobin is slowly increasing to 10.1. Last week it dropped below 8.0 which required two units of red blood cells. Thus far she has not needed any additional transfusions. The platelets are usually last to engraft. Normal range again is between 100,000 and 150,000. With the chemo Bonnie’s fell to a low of 19,000, but since the transplant they have steadily multiplied and currently at 268,000.

We have asked the doctors if there is any concern about these counts exceeding the normal range and they have said no. The new stem cells have responded very well to the Neupogen injections that stimulate the bone marrow to create new cells. So from this perspective is why the doctors say that Bonnie is making good progress.

The downside is that the mucositis continues to get worse, but somewhat expected. The doctors indicated that it takes approximately 7 days on average for the mucositis to run its course. It has spread throughout Bonnie’s mouth and down into her throat and esophagus and continues to periodically cause nausea, so please pray that the new WBC (the neutrophils) will start to attack the sores and begin the healing process before it spreads into her intestines. The thought of recurring intestinal issues is a source of anxiety for Bonnie as she knows firsthand what it is like from her initial 58 day stay at Sparrow earlier this year.

The projected date for discharge is now next Tuesday October 27th. This is subject to Bonnie being able to take oral medicines as well as eating solid foods. So that is the goal. She continues to walk a minimum of two miles each day (today it was closer to three).

We are grateful for your faithfulness in praying for Bonnie and can attest to the incredible peace and spiritual strength we have as a result of your prayers. Because of this, as well as a wide circulation of this blog (from England to the West Coast of the U.S.) we are asking you to join with us in praying for a dear friend of ours, Mary Grace, who back in May, at the beginning of Bonnie’s diagnosis, jumped right in and started coordinating meals for our family. Mary Grace had a horrible injury earlier this week involving her eye. Please pray for healing and restoration of her sight in the eye and for an overwhelming peace as well as spiritual strength for her and her family.

Thanks.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-20T18:13:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

After the most miserable night of pain and nausea, we received wonderful news from the doctors this morning that the donor stem cells have engrafted in Bonnie’s bone marrow cavity! This was the next step in the process we have been patiently waiting for. Overnight, her White Blood Cell (WBC) count went from 600 to 5200 which indicates engraftment.

We are rejoicing and thanking God for this news. We are grateful that He created us humans with incredible minds and bodies. Giving us as people the minds to develop medical procedures like a bone marrow transplant using stem cells from a donor along with His creation of a complex stem cell having a protein as part of its makeup that instinctively knows to penetrate the bone and reside in the bone marrow cavity to begin to produce new blood cells. All glory and honor and praise belong to Him alone.

With the WBC count coming back, the mucositis (mouth and throat sores) will slowly start to subside, but for now it is somewhat worse than yesterday, so Bonnie is still uncomfortable and in significant pain. As soon as she can get to where she can take most of the medications orally as opposed to IV form she will be discharged from the hospital and moved to outpatient housing. This could occur as early as this Friday or next Monday. This is about a week earlier than expected.

One thing that has helped in the process is Bonnie’s diligence in walking. In yesterday’s blog post, I speculated that before the evening was over that she would finish the balance of her two mile goal, which she did. Even though the night was long for her, she already got her two miles in today as well.

The nausea continues today and the anti-nausea medication isn’t helping too much in keeping down the little bit of Ensure, Breeze or chicken broth she drinks. Continue to pray that the nausea will subside.

The Graft versus Host Disease (GVHD) is not part of any of the side effects Bonnie is currently experiencing. GVHD will show up in some form typically between 30 and 100 days post transplant. So Bonnie is still very susceptible to complications, but for now we are rejoicing that she is moving towards the next step of outpatient housing. This phase will still require us to stay in the Detroit region for approximately the next 75 or so days. The actual time depends on her progress and the frequency of visits to the outpatient clinic which is part of this hospital.

Thank you for your continued interest in Bonnie’s progress. We appreciate all your prayers.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-19T18:48:00.000-04:00

Monday,

Today is Day +10 following Bonnie’s transplant and the storm is coming on shore. The mouth sores (mucositus) started yesterday and is working its way down Bonnie’s throat. She is quite uncomfortable with pain and finds it extremely difficult to talk or swallow anything. The entire GI tract has fast producing cells, and when the white blood cell count is low, there are no new cells being created in the GI tract as part of the body’s way of functioning properly. The result is the painful sores that take over and can potentially span the entire GI tract.

To offset the pain, the clinic uses Morphine or Dilaudid, which Bonnie has been on since yesterday. The Dilaudid (stronger than Morphine) is great for the pain, but the most nauseating narcotic, so that adds to the complications. Ativan is used to counter the nausea, but has side effects similar to Valium.

Bonnie’s WBC counts are reaching the lowest point, along with her hemoglobin and platelets. The hemoglobin was low enough today requiring two transfusions of red blood cells. Low hemoglobin causes excessive fatigue.

Combining the Dilaudid, which in and of itself has fatigue/tiredness as a side effect, along with Ativan and low hemoglobin, creates a recipe for extreme sleepiness. It is difficult however for Bonnie to rest peacefully as the mucositis causes the salivary glands to secrete excess mucus which chokes her and wakes her.

Last night as well as tonight she has spiked a fever of 100.5 which triggers a standard protocol of a chest x-ray, blood cultures plus antibiotics, antiviral and antifungal medicines. The fever could mean infection, but it also could be from Neupogen injections or the beginning stages of engraftment. Because it is uncertain at this juncture, the doctors keep a close eye on Bonnie as she is most vulnerable for infection at this stage in the process due to her low blood cell count.

All said, this is very much the norm for a bone marrow transplant patient. We have seen similar things occur with our neighbor who received his transplant two days before Bonnie. Over the weekend he was very sick, yet already today the doctors see great improvement and indicated that he might be able to move to “outpatient” status by the end of the week. Every case is different, but Bonnie’s has tracked similarly to our neighbor, so there is some possible light at the end of this initial tunnel. Our neighbor’s spouse used the analogy of being at war on the battle field and crawling out of one fox hole of safety through the mine field to another fox hole of safety. It’s a necessary step in the process.

Nutrition is always a key factor and somewhat challenging when you can’t swallow, even with the pain medications. With the mucositis, it can cover the reflux area making it a challenge of knowing for sure that you are getting a supplement drink like Ensure down the right pipe, without filling your lungs. Picture trying to concentrate on getting a drink down the right pipe, while you experience intense pain and barely awake enough to know what you’re doing. That sums up in a nutshell what Bonnie has experienced today.

Sharing this is not meant for you to feel sorry for Bonnie, in fact if she were coherent enough she would probably not approve of the descriptive nature of this post. Those of you who know Bonnie well, know that it’s not like her to bring any attention to herself, but I (Steve) wanted you to have an accurate picture of what she is dealing with so you can know specifically how to pray for her at this point in the journey.

The new stem cells are working their way to the bone marrow cavity and hopefully will engraft soon, which means they will start to produce new blood cells. So in addition to praying for comfort in the midst of the storm, please pray that the donor stem cells will indeed engraft sooner than later and that the white blood cell count will begin to rise quickly which one of the benefits will be the healing of the mucositis.

Bonnie’s attitude continues to remain unwavering and in the middle of the mental and physical fog she still has determination. She realizes the importance of walking and moving about. Yesterday she still walked two miles and today she has gone about 1 ¼ miles holding onto my belt loop to steady herself. It would not surprise me for her to stir and wake later this evening and say that she wants to get the rest of her laps in to reach her goal of two miles. Thus far we have walked approximately 35 ¼ miles since she was admitted on October 2nd.

We face each day confidently knowing that so many are lifting our name up to God, who is so incredibly great and mighty, yet so incredibly personable. It is He who we draw our strength and perseverance from. Please pray that we will be faithful to Him in all things, including this challenge He has allowed us to endure and for the opportunity He has given each of us for spiritual growth. Thank you again for all your prayers.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-17T11:21:00.000-04:00

Saturday,

Today is Day +8 following Bonnie’s transplant. A week and a day have passed and thus far she is doing very well in the eyes of the BMT team of doctors and nurses. We are starting to see signs of the pending storm that is approaching; more fatigue, headaches and some mild irritation beginning in her mouth.

Being on a floor where all the patients are in some stage of the BMT process, you quickly begin to gauge and benchmark yourself to the status of the others. We know who is new, waiting for their transplant day, and more importantly know who has already had their transplant and when it occurred. There are two patients and their families we have gotten to know fairly well and have regular conversations with them. Both of them had their transplants two days prior to Bonnie’s so we can see where they are at condition wise to ascertain in some aspects how Bonnie is faring.

Yesterday (Friday) Bonnie’s white blood cell (WBC) count actually went up a little (artificially) from 1.1 (1100) on Thursday to 1.6, but have fallen to .7 (700) today. Her hemoglobin has dropped to 8.8 and when it falls below 8.0 will require red blood cells transfused. Her platelets have dropped to 22 (normal is 100 to 150). All of these lowering numbers are expected and with it come the side effects. They started Neupogen injections on Thursday to start the stimulation process of the new stem cells that are residing in the bone marrow cavity.

I (Steve) have been asked a few times about the chemo killing off Bonnie’s WBC without affecting the new stem cells, so those of you who are interested in my best attempt at a common layman explanation, feel free to read on. Say you have a yard full of weeds that you want to kill and replace with new grass. You apply weed killer to your entire yard to poison and kill the weeds. After waiting a few days for the weed killer to be absorbed by the weeds, you overseed your lawn with new grass seed. The weeds continue to die out and overtime they have been eliminated. At the same time the new grass seed germinates, takes root and begins to grow. Likewise, Bonnie’s WBC are like the weeds and the donor’s stem cells are like the new grass seed. I’m sure a BMT specialist would cringe at the explanation and inform me that I’ve taken too much liberty in simplifying something so complex.

We continue to trust God and lay all of this at His feet asking Him to use us in His plans to glorify Himself through all of this, no matter the outcome. Please continue to pray that Bonnie will persevere and have endurance throughout this stage of the process. Thank you all for your faithfulness in keeping us in your prayers. We have been truly blessed by all of you.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-14T20:32:00.001-04:00

Wednesday,

Day +5 since Bonnie’s bone marrow transplant (BMT) and thus far everything is going as well as the BMT team expects and anticipates. Bonnie’s counts continue to decline. As a refresher, the normal range for white blood cells (WBC) is 4200 to 12,000. Today Bonnie’s count is 1500. The normal minimum baseline for hemoglobin is around 12, and Bonnie’s has dropped to 9.6. Normal platelet range is 100,000 to 150,000, and Bonnie is currently at 84,000.

Bonnie has a severely compromised immune system that has been suppressed and is once again neutropenic, which means the WBCs that are neutrophils are non-existent so she has nothing to fight infection. This is however, what the BMT wants to see as the donor stem cells are grafted into the bone marrow cavity. If Bonnie did have a strong immune system, it would fight these new cells.

Those of you following this blog since May, may remember that when Bonnie was previously neutropenic , she was put on a neutropenic diet which prohibited most fresh fruits and raw vegetables, including salads. The good news here at Karmanos though, is the recent adoption of a “non-restricted” diet due to extensive clinical studies completed at MD Anderson Cancer Clinic in Houston which showed no significant difference in infection rates between leukemia patients following and not following the restricted diet. Because of this, Bonnie is able to eat salads, tomatoes on sandwiches, and fresh fruit.

Fatigue continues to be the major issue for Bonnie, which is normal in these conditions of being neutropenic and a declining hemoglobin count. She still walked 2 miles yesterday (not all at once) which is encouraging. She is experiencing numbness in her toes and feet, and up into her calf, which is uncomfortable when she crawls back into bed.

Please pray that the fatigue will be manageable and not limited her ability to walk, which is so critically important. Also pray that all the other side effects that we are waiting to appear will be limited, particularly mouth sores, which can get quite severe and in many occasions creep all the way down the throat to the esophagus. They can get severe enough that it limits or prohibits the ability to eat resulting in a food bag IV. This is the first thing the doctors ask about and check on as they do their daily rounds. Bonnie had a few mouth sores with the previous rounds of chemo and they are extremely painful, so we are praying that they will be limited to non-existent.

Another day in the life of Bonnie living at Karmanos. She continues to be resiliently and incredibly strong emotionally through this process which is an answer to many prayers. That’s not to say she doesn’t have any moments when her emotions are challenged. She does have those times when it’s hard, and with the frailty of our human nature it’s to be expected. Yet we continue to look to Christ who is our Rock who says in Isaiah 51:12 “I, even I, am He who comforts you.” There is no trial that we will ever face that God can’t comfort us.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-11T19:42:00.000-04:00

Sunday

Just a quick update on how Bonnie is faring with the chemo and transplant. The Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) unit has a calendar that is based on Transplant Day as Day 0. Today is considered Day +2. Thus far Bonnie’s key blood components (white blood cells, platelets and hemoglobin) remain at normal levels, but are starting to drop. One of the medications she is on causes her magnesium to be very low resulting in the need for magnesium supplement IVs.

Bonnie is very fatigued due in part from the chemo and not sleeping well. It is difficult for her to get more than two hours of sleep at a time due to nursing shift changes, checking of vital signs, and hanging new IVs. We discussed with the team today how we could structure the schedule such that she might get uninterrupted sleep from midnight to 5:00 a.m.

Right now Bonnie is walking about 2 miles each day. The daily goal set by the team is 10 laps which is approximately ¾ of a mile. It is important for Bonnie to keep walking, particularly when the going gets tough. The walking can be a preventative against pneumonia and other complications. The nurses’ motto is one more lap closer to home.

Both the nurses and the doctors say it is good to be bored, but right now the waiting is somewhat monotonous, yet there remains an element of uncertainty waiting for the storm to hit that is on the horizon. We’ve never been in a hurricane before, but in some respects it must be like living along the Gulf of Mexico somewhere, knowing there is a Category 4 or 5 hurricane 2 to 3 days out, tracking a path that will undoubtedly impact you. It’s just that we don’t know and we’re sitting there wondering how much of an impact it will have on us. Will it be the eye of the storm that passes over us or will we only experience some of the torrential rains on the peripheral of the storm?

So, pray for rest, for patience and for peace as we wait for the weather change to come into focus and be clearer. Thanks!

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-09T19:54:00.000-04:00

Friday (Bonus posting!)

Since this blog started on May 13th, there hasn’t been an occurrence where there were two posts in one day, so this is a first. We share this post with excitement as the bone marrow transplant occurred this evening at 7:15. We are so very thankful for the willingness of the 49 year old male who made this sacrifice for a completely unknown person, Bonnie. We hope that someday we will be able to thank him personally for this incredible act of kindness.

Our BMT doctor was here tonight to administer the transplant and she shared with us that for an unrelated donor, they have established a minimum of 5 million stem cells as the baseline threshold for the grafting, although they are thrilled when that number is higher. While the infusion was occurring, a representative from the lab came to the room with the actual count of the stem cells, which were 3 times the baseline or 15 million cells. This means our donor has incredibly healthy bone marrow. Wow!

Please see our post from earlier today for some of the issues that most likely will occur following the transplant. Specific ways to pray are outlined in the post as well. We are celebrating tonight and glad that this chapter of the book is complete, but recognize the plot that follows is just beginning to unfold and will be revealed in the weeks to come.

Thank you again for your prayers! We repeat this over and over, but it’s overwhelming to us the amount of peace as well as stamina and endurance we have felt through this ordeal. God answers prayer.

Good Night!

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-09T09:53:00.000-04:00

Friday

Today is Transplant Day. At the present time, the Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) is scheduled sometime between 5:30 6:00 PM this evening, so please continue to pray that Bonnie’s body will accept the stem cells with only minor Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD), which is where the donor’s marrow (stem cells) attacks Bonnie’s organs and tissues. GVHD can be very severe to mild and a little unsettling to contemplate and think about.

Obviously we don’t want severe GVHD, but the doctors do want to see some minor GVHD, which means the new marrow is attacking any of the remaining tissues/cells that will cause the leukemia to return. In situations like Bonnie’s, where the donor is a non-relative, there is a 60% chance for chronic GVHD which occurs 100 days after the transplant. Acute GVHD normally occurs within the first 100 days; however the percentages of getting Acute GVHD are lower today due to better DNA testing in identifying a donor who matches eight specific genes.

Bonnie thus far is managing the side effects of the chemo very well, with the exception of some nausea (which has been manageable with medications) and fatigue (caused by both the chemo and the anti-nausea meds). Please continue to pray for her physical stamina and emotional strength as they both feed off each other.

Back in May, I (Steve) recall writing in a particular post that with God there are no coincidences. As I was doing my “read through the Bible in a year” which is broken into daily segments, today being the 282nd day of the year, I don’t believe it to be a coincidence that today’s New Testament passage was Philippians chapter 4 as we anticipate Bonnie’s BMT. This is a passage that many of you reading this blog will be familiar with, particularly verses 4 through 13:

“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy — meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you. But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

As I read this text this morning, it was a good reminder and refresher that these verses capture, to a certain extent, the essence of what our attitude should be, not just today as we anticipate Bonnie’s BMT, but in all situations we face. We can rejoice because we know that God is near and that His abundant peace can snuff out any anxiousness that creeps into our attitude and mind. If we fill our minds with thoughts of God’s character, His truth, His purity, His loveliness, His goodness and His virtues, it will help to promote praiseworthy thoughts which in turn will foster the growth and nourishment of an inner joy resulting in a calming peach in the midst of the life’s storms. Then we can experience contentment in “whatever state we are in”. We CAN do all things through Christ who strengths us.

Please pray that this will be our focus throughout the day as we anticipate the BMT, as well as the weeks to come. Thank you for all your care, concerns and support you have expressed to us one way or another.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-06T18:40:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

The daily regiment continues for Bonnie here at Karmanos as we anticipate the bone marrow transplant on Friday. Today is day four of the chemo with one more day to go. Bonnie’s key blood numbers remain stable, which is normal during the chemo process. The doctors say that her numbers may not plummet until after the transplant has occurred. The chemo has caused nausea, but can be manageable with medication. Her appetite is thus far okay and she has enough energy to walk about 30 laps per day around the floor. Sixteen laps equal a mile, so she is doing well. A day will come however, when she will be pushing it to get in 10 laps, which is the goal the staff has for every patient here on the BMT floor.

Today they started an immune suppressant IV which is preparing Bonnie’s body to not reject the transplant. The anti-seizure meds give Bonnie a little vertigo type feeling, plus tiredness, but necessary as the chemo is putting Bonnie below the body’s normal level to fight seizures.

Each day slowly drags by for Bonnie and she struggles with discouragement creeping in, but she never questions why God has allowed this to happen. It is hard for her emotionally when we are walking laps to see other patients who are in different stages of their respective transplants. Some barely make it out of their rooms, while others use a walker slowly trying to find enough energy to make it around the loop once. Combining this with the emotions of feeling isolated in a strange city away from family and friends can become emotionally draining for Bonnie, which in turn can affect her physically. It’s easy for me to say to Bonnie that every case affects each person differently and expect that this should give her some level of comfort. Our normal human nature is for fear of the unknown to creep in and consume our thoughts.

If we truly believe God is in control of this trial Bonnie is enduring, then we need to fear Him and not the unknown before us. He knows the unknown and the unseen. Psalm 114:7a says “Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the LORD”. We need to take pleasure in trembling or fearing God by running to Him and not away from Him. In a small hyperbolic comparison, it reminds me of the fear (and respect) I have of the water when I’m sailing. There is nothing like the exhilaration of riding on the crest of the wave watching the powerful rolling waves coming behind it. I’m not scared, but there is however, a healthy fear knowing that the waves and wind can overpower and capsize the boat, but at the same time there is a calming peace that brings pleasure to the experience knowing that the keel and rudder combined with the proper heading or course will keep me safe.

Fearing God and drawing near to Him and following the course He has charted for us is what He wants from us. Please continue to pray the specifics we outlined in our previous blog post and add to that list that we will fear God and experience an inner joy and peace as we wait patiently for the unknown and unseen ahead of us in the next few weeks.

Thanks again for your interest and coming along on this journey with us.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-10-03T17:41:00.000-04:00

Saturday,

As we reflect on the week that was and contemplate what lies ahead for Bonnie, we are comforted knowing that so many are praying for us and our family. Even though we know what to expect with an extended stay in a hospital room, there remains a level of anxiety of coming to an unfamiliar place in an unfamiliar town.

Bonnie was admitted yesterday afternoon to the Karmanos Cancer Center which leases space within the Detroit Medical Center (DMC) and Harper Hospital. The Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT) unit is located on 10 Webber North. Bonnie’s room is in a little alcove corner at the end of the hall, away from a lot of noisy corridors and overlooks the front of the Detroit Medical Center with views of the Ambassador Bridge to Canada and portions of downtown Detroit.

Some of the amenities that we were accustomed to at Sparrow Hospital, such as warm blankets, an open kitchen pantry, an atrium with large windows, and comfortable furniture in the room are not part of the amenities here at Karmanos. We are, however, thankful for other amenities such as a HEPA air filtration system that does air changes every six minutes which means Bonnie doesn’t need to wear a mask when she walks laps nor are visitors required to wear masks. There are fewer rooms in the BMT wing so the nurse to patient ratio is less than Sparrow. (To all our wonderful Sparrow nurses reading this, we have a great appreciation for the workload you endured, including administering the chemo. Here at Karmanos they have a separate chemo nurse that handles that portion. We were truly blessed for the care you provided to Bonnie! Thank you!)

On Thursday, we had to come down here to outpatient surgery for Bonnie to have a triple lumen central line placed. The surgery went well, however Bonnie was and continues to be sore, particularly the movement of her right shoulder. This central line is quite a bit different from the ones she had a Sparrow, particularly the size of the line, which is much larger and made up of a material composition that interacts with her body such that it somewhat fuses with her tissue, providing durability and longevity.

As mentioned in our previous post, Bonnie starts the chemo portion of the regiment today, which runs through Wednesday. During this time she will continue to feel good and have energy, so she is trying to adapt to the new environment and establish a routine the best she can. Our kids have been asked a few times what address cards and notes can be sent to so here it is:

Bonnie Opper
c/o Karmanos Cancer Center
10 Webber North
3990 John R
Detroit, MI 48201

So, this will be Bonnie’s home away from home for the next 4 to 6 weeks based on typical BMT averages. Once her key blood element numbers have come up and she is stable, she will be discharged and then we will move to outpatient housing for another 6 to 8 weeks (again based on BMT averages). Outpatient housing can either be here on the DMC campus where Bonnie can walk to for follow up treatments or within a 45 to 60 minute radius of the DMC. We are grateful for having an opportunity and option to stay in a fully furnished two bedroom apartment in Sterling Heights, which is about 25 minutes from the DMC campus. It all depends on how well Bonnie is feeling at the time, but regardless, God will provide what we need. It’s comforting to know that God knew our needs before this trial began back in May and He has been providing for us ever since. Deuteronomy 11:14-15 reinforces that which we have been experiencing along the journey:

He (God) will give the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the later rain, that you may gather in your grain and your wine and your oil. And he will give grass in your fields for your livestock, and you shall eat and be full.

We can’t begin to express the depth of our thankfulness for all of your prayers. As Bonnie receives the chemo for the next 5 days in preparation for the transplant next Friday, please pray with us that her body will respond to the chemo as the doctors expect it to with minimal side effects. Also pray that she will not experience any seizures from one of the chemotherapies. Our bodies all have a seizure threshold and one of the chemos lowers Bonnie below the normal threshold so in anticipation of this she is required to take a significant amount of anti-seizure medication to counter the risk. Continue to pray that Bonnie’s body will accept the transplanted stem cells from the donor and that our donor (and his family, if he has one) will be blessed by God in a special way.

Thanks!

Steve & Bonnie

2009-09-30T20:07:00.000-04:00

Wednesday (9/30/09)

I know we sound like a broken record, as multiple times in this blog we have expressed our gratitude for your care and concern about our ongoing medical situation, particularly Bonnie’s. I (Steve) only need some hair (which is slowly coming in and quite noticeable with a magnifying glass), less sensitive fingertips and the removal of my “infusa-port” (in five months….ugh!) and I’ll be back to normal. Thank you for all your prayers specific to my situation.

Now for Bonnie. Yesterday we had a final consultation prior to her being admitted on Friday afternoon. She saw the oncology dentist, her physician and the pharmacist (who did an excellent job of explaining in a simplistic way the various chemo and meds and what can be expected). We were surprised and caught off-guard by one item that quickly modified our schedule today (Wednesday) and tomorrow (Thursday). Bonnie also has an implanted “infusa-port” that has been used for the IVs she has received since the initial 58 day tour at Sparrow Hospital. Unfortunately many of the “infusa-ports” have a smaller tube that restricts the volume of flow of blood product or other meds which can be pushed through so Karmanos has a special catheter (triple lumen) that is surgically placed. We also learned that this has to be done as an “outpatient” prior to being admitted in order for insurance to cover the procedure. The result is that we have to drive back to Detroit tomorrow (Thursday) morning for an 11:30 surgery, and then drive back to Lansing tomorrow night to turn back around on Friday for the formal admission. God is still teaching us to trust in Him no matter the situation, no matter His timing.

After being admitted on Friday, Bonnie will undergo five days of two different chemotherapies which will completely wipe out her bone marrow. This treatment is harsher than what she has already received, but necessary in order for the transplant. The actual transplant will occur a week from this Friday and will only take approximately 20 to 30 minutes for the stem cells to be transfused into her blood. The physical challenges will start to come into play the week following the transplant from both the side effects of the chemo and declining blood cells and platelets combined with the new stem cells wanting to fight with other cells in Bonnie’s body. We will use a future blog posts to give you additional information on how she is responding to everything.

Please continue to pray for God’s peace for us, as this is what has sustained us throughout the journey. Also pray for Bonnie’s protection tomorrow during the surgery to insert the catheter. Also continue to pray for Cassandra, Caleb and Callie as they will be apart from us for lengthy periods of time. It won’t be easy for them to jump in the car and pop in to see Bonnie, with Karmanos 1 ½ hours away. Thanks for your continued interest.

Blessings to all,

Steve and Bonnie

2009-09-20T16:01:00.000-04:00

Sunday (9/20/09)

Thank you for your continued interest in our ongoing medical situation. If you have been coming back to the blog regularly you found that we have been delinquent in updating it since Labor Day. There hasn’t been much to update as we have been waiting for the bone marrow donor to be lined up.

Since Labor Day, Bonnie endured seven days of an in-home IV of a strong antibiotic to ensure the staph infection she picked up at the hospital was completely eliminated. In addition, her white blood cells dropped this past Tuesday (9/15) so she became neutropenic again and had to resume injections of Neupogen. By Thursday, the WBC were back up and over 15,000, but her hemoglobin was low so she needed two transfusions of red blood cells on Thursday night.

The timing of all this once again gave us an opportunity to trust God with everything, because the timing is ultimately His, even if it doesn’t fit ours. It’s difficult to plan anything not knowing what the next day will bring from a physical perspective. Bonnie and I had been invited to attend a special event at the Answers in Genesis Creation Museum in Cincinnati this weekend. We were hopeful to get away to the event for a change of scenery, however with her first being neutropenic followed by the low hemoglobin, it didn’t look like the timing would work. God was gracious to us, as everything fell into place enabling us to go. We had a wonderful time with friends and staff from the Museum. It was a well needed distraction for us.

Just before we left for the Museum on Friday, we received a great phone call from the Karmanos Cancer Center. The prospective donor that is the best match with Bonnie, out of the three that who are perfect matches, has agreed to be a donor, a 49 year old male. A transplant date has been tentatively schedule subject to a satisfactory physical of the donor which will occur this coming Tuesday. Bonnie is scheduled to be admitted at Karmanos on October 2nd which will be the commencement of the pretreatment to prepare her for the actual transplant day. Karmanos indicated that Bonnie will need to be admitted seven days prior to the transplant date to start additional chemotherapy which will again wipe out her WBC, including the stem cells in her bone marrow this time.

We are thankful and apprehensive at the same time with the timing of this. Our prayer has been that the transplant date would occur such that Bonnie would not need to go back to Sparrow for additional chemo treatments to maintain a remission status. Thankfully that prayer has been answered. At the same time, as we anticipate the long road ahead for Bonnie and the uncertainties that go with it; knowing that it is now right around the corner, is testing our anxiousness.

Prior to being admitted to Karmanos, Bonnie also has the anticipation of getting another bone marrow biopsy at Sparrow, which will establish a new baseline for Karmanos. You may recall from earlier blog posts, a bone marrow biopsy is not a picnic in the park, so Bonnie has this to think about as well.

Please pray for the following things:

1) That the donor’s physical will be satisfactory to continue the process moving forward.
2) That God will bless the donor in a special way and minimize the discomfort he may feel from the Neupogen injections he will need to stimulate his bone marrow for the production of excess stem cells.
3) That Bonnie will continue to see and experience God’s peace throughout this trial and as the day draws near that we relocate to Detroit for a few months.
4) That Bonnie’s strength and endurance will continue to improve over the next two weeks so she enters the process strong.
5) That our children will be spiritually strong, will work together and stay focused on their walk with God and their school work.
6) That we will continue to glorify God through this trial of suffering.

We still don’t know why God has allowed this and realize it is okay to question it, but we do know He has a greater purpose than we can comprehend with our finite minds. We have been encouraged to know that our situation has comforted others who are, or have experienced their own trials of suffering. The other day I was reading 2 Corinthians chapter 1 and verses 3 and 4 stuck out at me with one of those “a ha!” moments. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 helps us to get a glimpse of why God might have allowed this, although this may only be a part of why:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

The comfort we have experienced from God has been incredible and in some cases indescribable. God is teaching us through this situation how to comfort others who are struggling. Please pray that God will continue to comfort us as Bonnie enters this next phase and that He will use us to comfort others.

One other praiseworthy item, I (Steve) only had to have a total of 7 radiation treatments instead of 3 weeks due to the negative PET Scan. So after Wednesday my treatment is complete and I am in remission. In five months I can have my Infusa-Port removed and hopefully have a full head of hair! Thank you for your prayers!

Steve and Bonnie

2009-09-07T21:10:00.000-04:00

Monday (Labor Day)

After a long week at Sparrow, Bonnie was discharged yesterday, which we were all thankful for. It was a week of highs and lows, but overall we saw several answers to prayer. First of all, the infection from the positive blood culture was identified as MRSA, which is a common staph infection found primarily in hospitals. Out of all the blood cultures they did on Bonnie, only one came back as positive and the staph is treated with a strong antibiotic, which Bonnie was already receiving due to the infection in her toe. Bonnie was discharged with a home IV so that she can continue to receive the antibiotic for 7 more days.

Bonnie’s white blood cell count started to slowly come back on Wednesday and was 1500yesterday. Her neutrophils were 750 of the 1500 so she is still neutropenic and has to wear a mask at home and cannot eat most fresh fruits and vegetables unless they are cooked thoroughly. As the WBC continue to increase, Bonnie’s strength also goes up, which is important in preparation for the pending bone marrow transplant.
In addition to being discharged yesterday, we had two other answers to prayer this past week. We received another call from Karmanos on Thursday informing us that the other two potential perfect matches that provided blood samples also came back as perfect matches, eight out of eight genes. So Bonnie now has three perfect matches, so there are options, should one of the three change their mind or have a scheduling issue. Now that there is a perfect match, Karmanos is preparing for final insurance approval, which will take a couple of weeks. Once this has been satisfied, then Karmanos will go back to the National Bone Marrow Registry to inform one of the three that they are a perfect match and ask them to have a comprehensive physical completed. Assuming the physical is satisfactory, a date for transplant will be set. Best case scenario would be six weeks from now. Please continue to pray that everything will fall into place.

The other answer to prayer was the results of my (Steve) PET Scan. It came back with good results with no more chemotherapy required. Tomorrow I go back to radiation planning and measurement to set new parameters for my radiation treatment which will most likely start next week and run for three weeks.

Thank you for all your prayers.

Steve & Bonnie

2009-09-01T19:13:00.000-04:00

Tuesday

Well, Bonnie is completing her third day of her third tour here at Sparrow. She continues to be neutropenic , so the infection in her foot is being held at bay by a combination of very strong antibiotics. Our Oncologist said that as long as she is neutropenic, she will stay here as an inpatient, which was discouraging news. Each evening she has spiked a fever, with the high of 102.8. If you recall the first time she was in for the long duration May into July, when she spiked a higher fever the hospital staff used a “cold” blanket to help reduce the temperature. That was a miserable experience that Bonnie wants to avoid this time, so she has been putting ice packs under her arms to supplement the Tylenol and thus far it has worked to bring the temp down.

The Neupogen injections she has been receiving to stimulate her bone marrow to produce new white blood cells have had a more extreme impact on her compared to the same injections she received at the end of May following her first and second rounds of chemo. Her bones ache terribly making it difficult to be comfortable in bed as well as crawling out of bed to move about.

On a positive note, we received a call from our bone marrow transplant yesterday informing us that one of the three potential bone marrow donors is a perfect match – 8 out of 8 genes. The other two possible matches still have their blood samples in the lab. The one confirmed match is a 25 year old female. Karmanos is moving to the next step of getting some additional testing completed on Bonnie to submit for final insurance approval. Once the approval has been issued, the donor will be asked to submit to a thorough physical and assuming it is satisfactory the transplant date will be set. Best case scenario is 6 weeks away.

I (Steve) had another PET scan today to determine the effectiveness of the chemo treatments I have been receiving. The results should be available by Friday this week. Assuming the desired outcome was accomplished, I have 3 to 4 weeks of radiation pending.

Thanks for continuing to pray for our family. Specifically pray that Bonnie’s WBC will start to increase soon so that her immune system can attack the infection in her foot. In the interim, please pray that her fevers will be minimal and that she can endure the uncomfortable side effects of the Neupogen injections. One of Bonnie’s more critical concerns is the development of the severe intestinal issues she experienced back in May and June. Thus far she has not had any issues until today. The doctors believe that it could be a resulting side effect of one of the antibiotics, which they have now eliminated from her regiment. Also pray for the potential bone marrow donor who I have named Susan (just the name that came to mind while praying for her - that God might bless her in a special way for her willingness to go through the transplant process).

To conclude this post, we have an interesting item to share as it relates to God’s timing. On Saturday night as we were sitting in the ER, Bonnie said, “I trust God and know He is in control, but I’m having difficult time understanding His timing. He knew I was going to be neutropenic on Friday, so why would He allow me to have the procedure done on my toe on Thursday?” God’s timing is perfect in all situations, although we are not always privy to seeing the reason why for His timing. In this instance however, God did let us see the “why” behind His timing. Yesterday, our doctor informed us that if Bonnie had not had the ingrown toenail removed, the toe would still have become infected and she would have been admitted back to the hospital anyway. Most likely the toe would have been more painful than it already is as the nail would have continued to grow into the tissue of her toe. It is better that the nail has been removed, so even though there is an infection, the toe area will heal quicker once the WBC production begins. So in hind sight, God perfectly orchestrated Bonnie immediately getting into the podiatrist for the procedure last Thursday following her visit to the Cancer Center for the platelet transfusion. She was neutropenic at the time, but no one knew it as the medical team was working off the lab results from Wednesday’s labs. It was the labs drawn on Thursday just before we left to go to the podiatrist that produced the neutropenic results on Friday morning.

Having the comfort of knowing that God is in control of events and the timing of those events adds to the abundance of peace that engulfs us each day. Daniel 2:20-23a comes to mind as a good reminder that God is indeed in control of all things:

“Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,
to whom belong wisdom and might.
21 He changes times and seasons;
he removes kings and sets up kings;
he gives wisdom to the wise
and knowledge to those who have understanding;
22 he reveals deep and hidden things;
he knows what is in the darkness,
and the light dwells with him.
23 To you, O God of my fathers,
I give thanks and praise…”

All glory,honor and praise belong to Him. Continued thanks for all your prayers!

Steve and Bonnie

PS....An additional prayer request that just came up. Bonnie's nurse just came in to inform us that one of the blood cultures the lab is growing has just come back positive that Bonnie has an infection in her blood. It will take up to 3 more days until the type of infection is identified. This could be one of the cultures taken prior to the heavy anitbiotics she has been getting, but we haven't confirmed that it was indeed a culture from Saturday, Monday or today. One of the possible complications that could arise from this is the infection attaching itself to the infusa-port that was surgically implanted just before she was discharge on July 8th. If that happens, they will have to remove the port, which creates other issues along the way. Please pray that 1) the other blood cultures don't grow and indicate and infection - which would mean that the initial culture showing infection has been killed off by the antibiotics and 2) if she still has a blood infection that it would not attach to the infusa-port. Thanks!

2009-08-30T22:50:00.000-04:00

Sunday,

Well, it’s been a week and quite a bit has happened since the last blog post; some expected and others not so expected. If you recall from our last post, Bonnie had just completed a week back at the hospital for some consolidation chemotherapy and I had just completed my third cycle of chemo on Thursday August 20th.

On Wednesday this past week, Bonnie went to Sparrow labs for her every other day blood work. Wednesday afternoon our oncologist called and said Bonnie’s platelets were only 8,000 (normal range is 100,000 to 150,000) and she would need to come in as an outpatient on Thursday (the 27th) for two transfusions of platelets. Her white blood cell count was 4300 which is at the low end of the normal range (4000 to 12,000).

While we were at the hospital on Thursday, the doctors look at the ingrown toenail on Bonnie’s right big toe. The first two rounds of chemo back in May are still impacting both Bonnie’s finger and toe nails. Her large toe nails curled under on the sides and grew into the softer tissue of her toe causing a quite painful open sore. Following the platelet transfusions we contacted the podiatrist who had removed a previous ingrown toenail the week before when Bonnie was an inpatient at the hospital. The podiatrist got Bonnie in later that same day (last Thursday). He did the painful procedure, bandage Bonnie up and sent her home.

On Friday morning, Bonnie got another call from our oncologist informing her that she was now neutropenic based on the lab work they did following the platelet transfusion. As a refresher, neutropenia is when the white blood cells have been eliminated and the neutrophils (the good WBC that fight infection and disease) are zero. Had there been some indicator that she would be neutropenic on Friday; we would never have done the removal of the ingrown toe procedure.

On Saturday morning, Bonnie woke up and her big toe was swollen and red with infection. Over the course of the day the infection spread across the top of her foot and by evening it was three inches up the front of her leg. We called our oncologist and he wanted Bonnie to go to the ER right away. After seven hours in the ER and starting a strong antibiotic through and IV, they admitted Bonnie and moved her back to 5 West where we have spent a good share of 2009.

Thankfully, the infection seems to have receded and is responding to the antibiotics. Bonnie is still neutropenic and her platelets were back down to 8000 and her hemoglobin dropped to 6.1 (normal low is in the 12 range). Fatigue has set in due to the low hemoglobin. Today she received two more transfusions of platelets and 1 unit of red blood cells, with one more to come around 2:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

Please pray that our stay will be short, her WBC will increase, the infection will subside, and that her platelets and hemoglobin will stabilize over the next couple of days.

As far as me (Steve), please to pray that the up and down side effects of this last round of chemo continues to subside. Just when I think I’m beginning to feel better, another wave comes over me that is difficult to describe. I have a follow up PET scan scheduled for this coming Tuesday to gauge the effectiveness of the chemo followed by 4 more weeks of radiation.

We are still awaiting the blood work results of the three potential bone marrow donors. We expect hear an update this coming week.

We continue to be blessed by your many prayers that lift us up to a holy God who sustains us through this trial. We are grateful for the nourishment we find daily in God’s word. It’s so easy to fall into trying to figure out why this is happening, particularly with the added issue of the infection, followed by the question of “what next”. We are grateful that God has allowed us to see a smidgen of His greatness and to understand that we will never fully comprehend His plan for our lives because His infinite breadth and width is greater than anything we can imagine. It helps to think in these terms to put things into proper perspective and to understand that God is in control of all things. Ecclesiastes 7:14 says:

“In the day of prosperity be joyful,
But in the day of adversity consider:
Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other,
So that man can find out nothing
That will come after him.”

Thank you again for your prayers and support.

Steve and Bonnie

2009-08-24T12:00:00.000-04:00

Monday

After a week of additional chemo, Bonnie was discharged from Sparrow Hospital Saturday evening. We can’t say enough about the nursing staff on 5 West that have become like family to us, although we wished it were due to other circumstances. The care and compassion they have shown to us has been incredible, even the housekeeping staff (or environmental services staff) has the same caring characteristics as the nurses. It’s a comfort to know that should an unfortunate turn of events require us to go back to 5 West, we have friends ready and waiting to care for us. Please pray for the 5 West staff as they have an incredible responsibility day in and day out.

Now that we are home, Bonnie is doing okay, however the chemo is still working in her body to deplete the White Blood Cells. Along with the depletion of the WBC comes the reduction of her platelets and hemoglobin. More than likely, she will need to visit the Cancer Center later this week as an outpatient for a blood transfusion. As the hemoglobin decreases the fatigue increases. Thus far she has not had any intestinal side effects like she did the last two rounds of chemo, which is an answer to prayer. Right now the side effects (other than the fatigue) are limited to sores in her mouth, an infected big toe and heels that are sore and tender. The sores in her mouth are very painful and run up the nerve to her ear. This limits her ability to talk and eat, however she does have a “magic” mouthwash that numbs the area to make eating more palatable (no pun intended). The infection in her big toe isn’t serious, however it is very uncomfortable to stand or wear shoes. If you recall, the first two rounds of chemo caused Bonnie’s fingernails to curve in and fall off. Now her toenails appear to be doing the same thing, however it is causing ingrown toenails. A podiatrist came to the hospital to do a minor procedure on Bonnie’s other big toe with the same issue. Because her blood counts are down, she will have to wait to have the other nail cut back or removed. Please pray that the pain will be minimized.

We are still waiting to hear from Karmanos Cancer Center on the testing of the blood of the three potential perfect matches for the bone marrow donor. We are thankful that three out of the six agreed to go to the next step and continue to pray for each of these individuals that they would indeed be a perfect match, that they would be willing to be a donor, that their schedules would fit Bonnie’s and that God would bless them in a special way.

I (Steve) had my (hopefully) last chemo treatment this past Thursday. I wished I could say that my body is getting used to the poison, but it seems the side effects of nausea are prolonged after each treatment, which I learned is not unusual. I have also found that the upper respiratory issue (wheezing and coughing) is not necessarily from a lingering cold, but rather a side effect of the chemo. The coughing becomes tiresome and has strained some of the ligaments along the sternum so it is somewhat uncomfortable. Please pray that I can endure the nausea as well as the coughing and that both will subside soon.

We are grateful for our small group that we have been involved with for over 19 years. They have been the nucleus of the incredible rings of support that have surrounded us since this journey commenced. We had our traditional end of summer dinner scheduled for this past Wednesday when we learned Bonnie was to be readmitted to the hospital. The rest of our group quickly changed plans and brought dinner into the hospital so that we could all be together. They all wore hats so they could be cool like Bonnie and I!

As events and circumstances in our lives ebb and flow, God wants us to continually be in His word as it never loses its freshness. It’s almost as if a specific trial, such as what we’re dealing with, is like putting on a unique set of glasses that opens a whole new vantage point of God’s word that could not be seen before. For that reason, we are grateful for this trial and continue to pray that God will enable us to continue to see more depth to His words we have read so many times over the years. Yesterday we read Psalm 100 as a family:

1 Make a joyful shout to the LORD, all you lands!
2 Serve the LORD with gladness;
Come before His presence with singing.
3 Know that the LORD, He is God;
It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
5 For the LORD is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.

In verse 1 we are to make a joyful shout or noise to the Lord, regardless of the circumstances we face.
In verse 2 part of that joy is serving Him with gladness and singing, regardless of our earthly trials.
In verse 3 we can take comfort in knowing that it is He that made us and we belong to Him and He knows our suffering. Jesus our Shepherd is watching over us and knows our needs.
In verse 4 we are to be thankful to God for all things, including the trial of having leukemia and lymphoma (which is easier said than done and requires a lot of prayer – particularly when we are feeling the harsh side effects of the chemo and disease as well as the unknowns and uncertainties).
In verse 5 we are comforted knowing that God is good (in all things) and that in the midst of the storm we can still experience his goodness and mercy which is the source of our joy.

We pray that we will continue to be thankful to God for the trial we are enduring. True thanksgiving brings us a supernatural joy that is never ending. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Steve and Bonnie

2009-08-18T20:48:00.000-04:00

Tuesday

Ecclesiastes 3:11 starts off with “He (God) has made everything beautiful in its time.” We have to continually keep our “timing wants” in perspective with God’s “timing will”. His timing is perfect and based on eternity, while ours is self-centered and based on the “here and now”. Even though we are subject to God’s timing (when it doesn’t fit ours), the Psalmist says in Psalms 103:8 “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.”

From an earthly perspective, there is never a good time for leukemia and/or lymphoma. We can look back and dwell on various events missed: a graduation & open house, an 18th birthday, a memorial service for a stepfather and a vacation. Having faith that God has a greater purpose for our unusual sequence of events helps us to come back to the proper focus and perspective of trusting God and His perfect timing. Yet in the midst of submitting to God’s timing that isn’t ours, He is “compassionate and gracious…..abounding in lovingkindness.”

Before updating you on our physical status, we wanted to share with you a snippet of God’s perfect timing that we were able to experience and grateful for His outpouring of compassion. If you have been following this blog, you most likely know that for the past month Bonnie has been feeling better and getting stronger while I (Steve) have been the one experiencing the physical side effects of the chemotherapy. As a result, we have not been able to travel any significant distances since prior to May 12th when Bonnie was admitted to Sparrow Hospital and now with her back in Sparrow for another week of chemo combined with my third cycle of chemo this Thursday, we had a very small window of opportunity to travel to Northern Michigan this weekend to visit Bonnie’s terminally ill father and also visit a few cousins from out of town. This past Friday, we visited Bonnie’s father and Saturday morning he passed away. Bonnie was able to tell him she loved him and he in turn expressed the same to her, so God allowed her to have that closure. There was no other time we could have traveled the 3+ hours North to see him. We also were able to spend some time with cousins at the lake and enjoy a beautiful day….one of the few they have had up north all summer. God is so good and His handiwork so present.

As far as the update on our status…..Bonnie was admitted yesterday for 5 days of chemo. They will be wiping out her white blood cells again as a precautionary measure to ensure she remains in remission. If everything goes as planned, she will be discharged on Saturday, most likely in a neutropenic state, meaning she will have no immune system to fight infections and viruses. She will then receive injections to stimulate her bone marrow to produce new WBC. As of tonight she is doing well and we are praying that she has minimal side effects in the days following the completion of the chemo. I (Steve) have been feeling better the past couple of days with the exception of the cold virus I contracted over four weeks ago that wants to hang on as my system is also taxed from the chemo. As mentioned up above, I have my third (and hopefully last) round of chemo on Thursday. I have a Pet Scan scheduled for September 1st to determine the effectiveness of the chemo which then will be followed by three more weeks of radiation.

In summary, please pray that as we head into this weekend that our side effects are minimal in order that we can minister to each other and our kids don’t have to witness two very sick parents at the same time. We are still awaiting word on whether or not any of the six possible matches for a bone marrow donor are willing to move forward with us. Please continue to pray that someone in this group is indeed a perfect match and willing to be a donor.

Thank you again for your prayers. We are so grateful for you all.

Steve and Bonnie

2009-08-12T20:41:00.000-04:00

Wednesday

Thank you for your care and interest in taking time to keep up to date on the status of the challenging journey we continue to face each day. There hasn’t been much to report or change in status since our last update a week ago Monday, until yesterday.

Yesterday Bonnie had a follow up appointment with “our” oncologist. She is still in remission and her twice weekly blood labs indicate that the level of white blood cells is in the normal range, her platelet level is also normal and her hemoglobin remains slightly low, but acceptable and an answer to prayer.

The looming bone marrow transplant is still off into the future, as a donor has yet to surface. If you recall from our last update, there are six potential perfect matches, but the process is onerous and time consuming. We have yet to hear if any of the six have agreed to provide blood samples to be sent to Karmanos. Once received it is fourteen days until the match is verified, and assuming the match is confirmed and someone is willing, then there is another two weeks to process the insurance approval, followed by a physical of the donor.

As a result, our oncologist does not want Bonnie to go any longer without a round of consolidation chemotherapy to maintain her remission status. This means five days back at Sparrow Hospital as an in-patient for three rounds of a more concentrated chemo like she had the first two rounds. The doctor did say that he would review Bonnie’s file to determine if this particular chemo was the culprit that caused so many of the side effects she experienced. If so, he indicated that he would look for an alternative chemo that could provide the same results without the harsh side effects.

When will this occur? Unfortunately, it will occur sooner than we had expected. Bonnie will be admitted this coming Monday (August 17th) and if everything goes as planned, she will be discharged Friday afternoon (August 21st). Please pray:

1) That Bonnie will have an overwhelming peace as Monday draws near. She knows too much this time around and it is easy to succumb to fear and discouragement.

2) That the doctor will have wisdom and discernment in selecting the best type of chemo for this treatment.

3) That Bonnie will not have the same side effects she experienced last time and that her stay will be limited to the planned five days.

4) That we will glorify God with the proper attitude as this trial continues.

As far as my (Steve) status, my last (hopefully) round of chemo is scheduled for August 20th. I’m slowly coming out of the side effects from the last round two weeks ago. I continue to fight a remnant cough and wheezing from the upper respiratory issue that started four weeks ago. I’ve been able to work five to six hours each day which is a good distraction from some of the physical ailments. My hair has been falling out steadily. Tonight when I washed it, it all came out, so now I look like Mr. Clean. One of our wonderful children suggested that I get a Mr. Clean earring which was completely dismissed.

Once the chemo is complete, I have a follow up Pet Scan scheduled for September 1st which will reveal the effectiveness of the chemo on the lymphoma and whether or not additional treatment is required. I still have three weeks of radiation that will follow the chemo.

In spite of the many issues we face, God is faithful and provides us with everything we need. We are grateful and thankful for the peace, strength and endurance He continues to bless us with each day. In our weak moments, Psalm 94: 18-19 helps us put our sights back into the proper focus – not on ourselves but on a holy God who sustains us at all times and is the source of the joy that is waiting to fill our hearts and available to us at all times, regardless of life's trials:

“When I thought, “My foot slips,”
Your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
Your consolations cheer my soul.”

Thank you for your prayers.

2009-08-03T22:17:00.000-04:00

Monday

Today was a little more outside the status quo from an emotional perspective and a little more of a roller coaster. It’s very apparent that God wants us to trust Him more fully than we have as we continue on our journey. He closed one door today and opened up another as a possibility. We learned today that neither Bonnie’s sister or brother were a match as a possible bone marrow donor. That was a setback as we were hopeful that Bonnie’s sister was a match, as they have many similar physical attributes.

We are however, still firm in our faith that God is in control of all things, including the issue of finding a donor. We also know that God can heal Bonnie if He chooses to do so, either within the context and framework of the medical community He has blessed us with, or in a supernatural unfathomable way that our finite minds cannot comprehend. He is the great physician and source of our hope and joy.

The other half of the roller coaster ride was the second call we received later in the afternoon from our Bone Marrow Transplant Coordinator at Karmanos letting us know that she was able to identify on the national bone marrow donor database eight potential perfect matches. The key word here is “potential”. Most names in the database have completed a saliva swab to provide an initial DNA record for gene typing. The typing from this initial swab is a good indicator that we have a match, but more detailed typing is required using blood to ensure that the eight genes they need to match with Bonnie do indeed match. Karmanos is initiating the process with the national donor program to ask seven of the eight (they typically use six to seven names) people to go to a lab to provide blood for further testing. Once the blood samples are received by Karmanos the process takes approximately 14 days to finalize the typing.

One other positive with this news is that one of the eight in the database actually has had the more detailed typing completed and appears to be a perfect match. Our Coordinator will speak with Bonnie’s doctor on Wednesday to see if she wants to immediately commence the transplant process without looking at any of the other seven candidates. Issues that can arise though are the donor’s schedule doesn’t work with our timing or they changed their mind. Obviously these issues have to be worked out and we are putting them in God’s hands and trusting that He knows best.

Just a quick update on my (Steve) status. I did receive my second chemo treatment this past Thursday in spite of the lingering upper respiratory issue that continues to hang on. I am experiencing more insomnia and nausea this time around along with the same abdominal cramping I did with the first round and pray that all will subside soon. We are keeping a close eye (figuratively speaking) on my lungs as they seem to have some fluid building, but presently not serious. Please continue to pray for peace in the midst of the physical challenges I feel and that I will persevere with joy even when I don’t feel like it. This morning I read Romans chapter 5 and verses 3 & 4 might as well have been bolded and underlined by God as I was reading the text because He sure brought it to my attention. I’ve included verses 1 through 5 for complete context and have put in bold type below my new prayer:

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

Please pray this with us as we forge ahead each day, not knowing what is around the next corner, but trusting that God is leading us where He wants us to go.

2009-07-28T17:34:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

Dear friends and family,

I’m doing the post tonight instead of Steve, as he continues to fight a severe upper respiratory virus. Please keep him in your prayers as he has another chemo treatment Thursday and he doesn’t want to go into it with the virus still hanging on.

Thank you all for your continued prayers on our behalf. I am a little anxious about this next phase of my treatment and being away from my family so long. My human nature is always trying to discourage me and rob me of my peace. It is a constant reminder when I go on a walk and start to get winded after a short while, I have Leukemia. When I look at my skinny little legs and weak arms, I get discouraged at how far I have to go to be strong again. When I walk by a mirror and see my ever balding head, the voice says “you have cancer!” When I try to open a jar or unscrew the toothpaste it’s a reminder that the chemo made my fingers and toes numb and sore to use. You see when I focus on myself and my current circumstances, I start feeling discouraged that my life isn’t going as I planned. You see we all have these preconceived ideas of how things were suppose to work out. Then a trial hits and we are forced to halt everything and realize that we were never really in control. I have to daily turn my thought to God and choose to follow where he is leading me, even if I would prefer to not go. I need to die to my plans and be open to receiving Gods best for me and my family. One of my favorite verses comes from Isaiah 55:8-9;

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

When my thoughts are on my weakness, bald head or my fear of more treatments, then I’m not trusting our heavenly father and I have no peace. Isaiah 26:3-4 states;

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.”

Our family’s struggles are really no different than trials that you go through. I get discouraged and have to choose to die to my plans and trust that His plan is far greater than I can imagine.

We are very grateful for each of your prayers, they truly bless us!

Love,

Bonnie (& Steve)

2009-07-26T11:17:00.000-04:00

Sunday

We know we sound like a broken record, but we cannot thank you enough for your outpouring of love through prayer, notes, meals and other forms of serving us. Because of your faithfulness in praying, we wanted to share with you a new prayer request, in addition the ongoing list of you already have.

We have a nasty head cold/sore throat bug going around our house. Thus far, Callie and I (Steve) are the two to be enduring it at this time. Please pray that God will put a shield of protection around Bonnie that she will not fall prey to the bug, as her immune system, although functioning, is fragile. If she does end up catching the bug, please pray in advance that God will use those new white blood cells to fight it off quickly.

She continues to gain strength as we wait word from Karmanos Cancer Center on the HLA typing of her siblings. It will be another 8 to 10 days before we hear anything on potential sibling matches.

Thank you for the prayers on my (Steve) abdominal cramping/ulcer sensation. This past Friday night was the first relief I've had in 10 days. Several of you have asked about the pain in my tailbone from the lymphoma. I'm happy to share that on a scale of 0 to 10, I'm at a 1, without pain medication for the past 6 days. My next chemo treatment is this coming Thursday, July 30th. Bonnie's birthday is the next day, Friday, July 31st. Please pray that I will feel well enough to help coordinate and celebrate Bonnie's birthday with family. Bonnie is willing to skip her birthday, but between the two moms, that isn't likely to happen.

We started this update off thanking you once again for all your support and we will end this update the same way. In some ways, the journey we are on is like the Tour de France. Similar to the start of the race where there is a lot of congestion and crowding causing what appears as mass confusion, such was the case with the commencement of our journey. There was a lot of confusion and unknown ahead of us. As the race wears on, the crowd of those competing thins out and things begin to fall into some sense of order. There are days that travel is flat and the going is a little easier and there are other days where you're climbing the mountains. That is our journey. The other similarity, and really the point we want to make with this correlation, is the cheering spectators offering encouragement to the participants. It doesn't matter the stage of the race, the spectators feel a part of or an association with the race by standing and cheering, passing out water or jumping out to help someone in need.

You are the "cheering" spectators of our race and we are grateful that you continue to line the edge of our road as we continue to engage in the challenges before us. The body of Christ is made up of many parts or members, yet each member shares an association with all the other members of the Body, including those who are going through difficult and challenging times. As much as we have been overwhelmed by our circumstances, we have been equally overwhelmed by the outpouring of support you have shown us. You all have demonstrated Phillipians 2:3-5 to our family:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus

Thank you for showing us how to love and for lifting us up in this race we must endure! Your prayers, notes, words of encouragement, emails, phone calls, meals, gift cards, offers for help, and the list goes on, have demonstrated to us exactly what the apostle Paul encouraged the Phillipians to do for each other.

Love,

Steve and Bonnie

2009-07-21T19:00:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

Well it’s been a week since our visit to the Karmanos Cancer Center and we have had some time to let everything sink in a little on Bonnie’s bone marrow transplant. Thank you for your prayers as the overwhelming feeling that we had driving back home last week has diminished. We do, however, continually have to remind ourselves that God is in control and His plan for our lives is perfect and better than our own plans, even though it’s a daily challenge of accepting the fact. We are thankful for the comfort, strength and encouragement we find everyday in God’s word. Combined with the thousands of prayers being lifted up on our behalf, we find ourselves in a situation filled with peace and hope.

At this juncture, we are pretty much status quo from our update last Wednesday. Bonnie continues to gain more strength which has enabled us to do a few normal activities. We were able to attend church as a complete family this past Sunday for the first time since May 10th. Today Bonnie and the kids picked 20 pounds of blueberries. Please continue to pray for her increased strength as this is critical for her to be ready for the bone marrow transplant.

Bonnie’s hair continues to fall out slowly and her hands and feet are peeling once again and her fingers continue to be sensitive. Her sense of taste continues to be restored. We are thankful that she is in remission at this point.

Each Monday, we both go together to Sparrow Labs for our weekly blood draws (Bonnie also goes on Thursdays). Thus far we have yet to receive a call from our oncologist regarding the lab results which means our white blood cells, platelets and hemoglobin levels are acceptable, which is an answer to prayer, particularly for Bonnie. The day Bonnie was discharged; she received a transfusion of platelets as they were still low, so to go for two weeks without a transfusion is a milestone.

We continue to pray that a bone marrow donor will be identified. Bonnie’s siblings are in the process of the HLA typing. This process takes approximately 14 days. If none of them match, then Karmanos will go to the national database to find a donor. We have had many people ask us where than can go to do the typing. For more information on the National Marrow Donor Program, go to www. marrow.org or call 800-MARROW-2. Our BMT coordinator at Karmanos gave us a telephone number for the local office in East Lansing. The number is 800.471.3020. There may be a cost to register, but wanted to get this information out to you all. Thank you to those who have expressed interest in joining the database.

As far as an update on me (Steve), I have been experiencing severe abdominal cramping since last Wednesday. The doctors believe this to be a side effect of the chemo treatment I had 12 days ago. Please pray that this will subside and that God will give me the strength to endure the discomfort.

Our strength today comes from Psalms 86:11-13 which says:

Teach (us) your way, O LORD,
that (we) may walk in your truth;
unite (our) heart(s) to fear your name.
(We) give thanks to you, O Lord (our) God, with (our) whole heart,
and (we) will glorify your name forever.
For great is your steadfast love toward (us);
you have delivered (our) soul(s) from the depths of Sheol.

Thank you once again for all your prayers and offer of support.

Steve and Bonnie

2009-07-15T21:18:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

Overwhelming. That would be the best word to describe our day today as we spent all afternoon at the Karmanos Cancer Center learning about bone marrow transplants and what Bonnie is facing. A lot of questions were answered, but deciphering the volume of information that came at us created additional questions needing clarification.

Before going into detail on the road Bonnie is facing, we need to remind ourselves continually that God is faithful regardless of the incredible circumstances before us. He knows our needs as He is always with us. He knows our frailties and weaknesses. He is our strength and the nourishment we need to draw from as we feel overwhelmed. He is complete and His word is sufficient. Psalm 73:23-26 is a source of nourishment to our souls as we travel this difficult road:

Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Please pray for wisdom and discernment as well as a calming peace as we learn more about the bone marrow transplant (BMT) process. First off, the type of leukemia Bonnie is dealing with has a 70-80% chance of resurfacing within the first year if we chose not to do the BMT at this time. Waiting doesn’t appear to be an option.

The process is starts with Karmanos identifying a donor. They will start with Bonnie’s siblings first to see if there is a full match. There are 8 different genes they look to match, but could go with a donor that only matches 7 genes. There is a 1 in 4 chance that a sibling will be a full match. If siblings don’t match then they access the national donor database. We have been asked by a number of people where they can go to do HLA (human leukocyte antigen) typing to see if they are a match with Bonnie. Karmanos will be emailing us information on where to go to do HLA typing. There is an 80% chance as a Caucasian that a match will be made and a donor identified.

Once the donor is identified the transplant is scheduled. This part appears to be the simplest part of the process. The transplant does not involve actual bone marrow. Instead, the donor’s peripheral blood is harvested and put through a process of capturing stem cells and then replaced back into the donor. Once the stem cells are captured and separated they are transfused to the host (Bonnie) like any other blood transfusion. The proteins of the stem cells know to penetrate the bones and reside in the bone marrow cavity where they begin to produce to new white blood cells. It is quite fascinating and just one more argument that we didn’t just happen by chance but were created by an incredible God.

Where things become overwhelming is the physical trials Bonnie will be required to endure and the multiple side effects of the transplant. She will have to go through chemo prior to the transplant to wipe out her immune system so her body won’t fight the foreign stem cells. Once her levels are back in a neutropenic state the transplant occurs. The doctors say she should tolerate this type of chemo better than what she just went through these past two months.

Once the transplant occurs, it will take approximately two weeks for the cells to begin to mature in the bone marrow. The key is how her body will handle the infusion of stem cells. Her WBC can recover or possibly the new WBC can be seen as foreign and reject the transplant. They will use steroids and immune suppression drugs as part of the process for her body to accept the transplant.

Even if her WBCs recover and accept the transplant, the issue of most concern that she will face is called Graft Versus Host Disease (GVHD). During the first 100 days, acute GVHD can develop in the gut, liver or skin and is treated with steroids. Because of the advancement in DNA typing, they don’t see acute GVHD as much as they used to. Only a 30% chance with a sibling donor.

After 100 days, there is a 60% chance for some form of chronic GVHD requiring long term treatment. This could be a simple as thicker skin with a rash or less moisture from the salivary glands or tear ducts.

There is an 80 to 90% surviving the first year with a perfect sibling match and the leukemia relapse rate for someone receiving a transplant is 20%.

Facing the prospects of working hard over the next two months to get stronger only to be put back into a physical condition similar to Bonnie’s stay at Sparrow is overwhelming. Being told that you will most likely experience diarrhea, sores in the mouth, rashes, nausea, etc., sounds too familiar and close to home.

Add to that the time estimates for this to occur. Once the donor has been identified and the transplant occurs, the hospital portion of the stay is 4 to 6 weeks. Following that is the first 60 to 100 days where the Center wants Bonnie to stay nearby for monitoring and ongoing treatments. When you start to think of 4 to 5 months away from home, family, and the kid’s education it becomes overwhelming.

Compounding this is Steve’s lymphoma and the pending treatments still ahead of him near term. Please pray that we will manage being overwhelmed and that God’s peace will be even greater than what we experienced with the first round at Sparrow Hospital, that God will rise up wise counsel for us to interact with, and that we will continue to strive to glorify Him with our attitudes and actions. Please pray that our children will rise to the occasion and for wisdom of what to do about Caleb and Callie’s education this fall and winter.

Thank you for your interest, cares, concerns and prayers.

God Bless,

Steve and Bonnie

2009-07-12T11:07:00.000-04:00

Saturday – Sunday

We are thankful for your care and concern about our family by following our updates to know the best way to pray. Bonnie continues to gain strength, albeit, slower than she would desire. She is walking regularly and thankful for the weather we have had since her departure from Sparrow Hospital. Her sense of taste is continuing to improve, but she now is experiencing severe heartburn – something she has never had before. Please pray that this would subside on its own.

Probably the most challenging thing from a physical perspective is Bonnie’s peeling skin and the itching. Her legs are peeling and itching, but it is primarily her hands that are the most troublesome due to the pain and sensitivity of her fingers. Please pray that the pain and sensitivity will subside and that her feet, although they are peeling horribly, will not become painful or sensitive like her hands which would limit her mobility. We are praising and thanking God that she has not had difficulty wearing shoes.

The storm I (Steve) have been waiting for from my chemo treatment this past Thursday started to hit me late Friday night and throughout the early morning hours of Saturday. The anti-nausea medicines I’m on didn’t block the waves of nausea that persisted throughout the night. As I sat awake in the chair, I picked up a little book that our neighbors had just given to us earlier in the evening – What Cancer Cannot Do: Stories of Hope and Encouragement – and read several of the stories. I kept coming back to the very first page that I had read to Bonnie before she went off to bed and kept rereading it to take my mind off the nausea. Following is the devotional:

ETERNAL LOVE

Nothing – not the probing fingers, the painful needle stabs, the interminable waiting for results, the surgery, the pathology reports, the naming of the dreaded word cancer – can separate us from the love of God.

For God made us, forming us in our mother’s womb, knowing every part of us down to the very DNA of our cells. Yes, he knew that some of those cells would go astray, fleeing the intent for which they were created and following after their own way. He knew those aberrant cells were multiplying in us long before we sensed them.

But just as, in love, God brought us to salvation through the cleansing blood of his son, Jesus Christ, so he will, in love, save us from the truly crippling effects of cancer. For when we are most afraid, his love calms us; when we feel abandoned, he surrounds us with his presence; when we feel we have lost our way, he lights up the darkness; when we are restless with pain, he soothes us with his touch; when we lose heart, thinking we will never be well again, he restores our soul.

He does this through songs in the night and Scriptures by day; through the private prayers of friends and the corporate intercession of the church; through the expert care of doctors and the compassionate hands of nurses; through the testimony of cancer survivors and the shining leadership of saints who die in the Lord. But most of all, he does this through his ever-vigilant, wholly sufficient, eternally satisfying love.

CANCER CANNOT CRIPPLE GOD’S LOVE. He loved us from the beginning, he loves us through disease, he loves us in and out of treatment, and he loves us to the end, where, someday, we will know no more tears, no more sorrow, and no more death – only the incredible wonder of his love.

We thought we would share this devotional with all of you, as none of us are exempt of going through trials and struggles throughout our lives. Yes, the text above focuses on cancer, however it isn’t limited to just cancer. No matter the issue, trial or struggle you may be dealing with, our hope and prayer is that you will find comfort that God knows you, loves you, and desires you to submit to Him every aspect of your life.

2009-07-10T16:44:00.000-04:00

Friday,

Hello to those of you keeping up to date on Bonnie's progress (I guess mine as well). After a long day of chemo yesterday I (Steve) didn't have much left last night to update you on Bonnie's full first day at home.

I think the scripture that Bonnie is holding onto is James 5:7

Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains.

God is teaching Bonnie patience. She can easily get discouraged with her lack of strength and mobility. Actually she is doing great, but in her mind she wants to be back where she was prior to her admission to Sparrow. She knows she needs to rest in the Lord and in His timing or as the verse says, once she receives "the early and the late rains."

Please pray that her strength will continue to improve. She and I walked about a mile this afternoon and took a three-legged stool along so she could rest a few times. Also pray that her skin will begin to stop peeling. She has already had several layers of skin peel off her hands and feet and her hands are getting sore again which makes it challenging for her to do much with them.

Her appetite seems to be slowly coming back...as mine slowly begins to dissipate. She was able to take her first shower today since May 12th which was a wonderful feeling. The sponge baths do get old.

Yesterday I (Steve) received four different chemo meds from 8:30 to 5:00 with a shot of benedryl and demerol and some steroid to counter an allergic reaction I had to the Rituxan (one of the four chemos). The body naturally tries to fight against the medicine so it's countered with the other drugs. Today I received an injection of Neulasta which promotes good growth in the bone marrow so I don't become neutropenic as Bonnie did during her treatment.

Please continue to pray that I (Steve) will have limited side effects of my treatments. I would like to be clear that the chemo meds I am receiving are no where near as strong as what Bonnie went through, and we are grateful for that. I'm hopeful that I will be able to go to work next week for a few hours as I'm feeling up to it.

Again thank you for your faithfulness in praying for our family. Without it we would not have the outpouring of the Lord's strength that we are resting upon hour by hour.

2009-07-08T18:51:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

HOME. Just the word brings tears of joy to us. Bonnie is home. As we drove out of the parking deck at Sparrow Hospital this afternoon with the sunroof open, Bonnie heard a bird chirping and the tears were streaming down her cheek. Just the simple things in life that we take for granted that get lost in the busyness of life. What a pleasure I (Steve) had today to pull weeds in the flower beds. It's hard to capture in words the pent up feelings and emotions of being together in our home. Please pray that God will protect our lives from spinning out of control where we find ourselves not appreciating every little aspect of God's creation. "Take time to smell the roses" takes on a new meaning as opposed to just being a simple cliche.

HOPE. We have hope in the future because of Christ. Whether it's our earthly or eternal future, we have hope. This is the first time I (Steve) can recall sitting at our kitchen computer doing this update. I happened to glance up on the wall and saw a new plaque that Bonnie had bought quite some time before this journey had started. The plaque was hung by my dad just prior to Cassandra's openhouse as part of the finishing touches to an updated kitchen. The plaque says:

HOPE
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. Isaiah 40:30

As we cleaned up Bonnie's room and took down all the cards that were taped to the wall, Bonnie had a chance to reread the notes of encouragement from so many, which was an added blessing to her day. We appreciate the outpouring of kindness, including the meals to those of you who had one of our children at one point along the way. So many have reached out to help and we would like to personally thank each one of you but quite frankly are overwhelmed in how to do so.

Please continue to pray for us as we continue on the journey which is far from over. I (Steve) start my chemo tomorrow. Please pray that I will not have a lot of side effects from these harsh drugs.

Please pray for continued wisdom and discernment as we transition to the bone marrow transplant process for Bonnie. We have a meeting a week from today in Detroit with the team that specializes in bone marrow transplants. Pray that a match will be identified quickly.

God is teaching us so much along the journey and we are grateful for this venue to share a little of what He is doing in our lives. All glory and honor and praise belong to Him!

2009-07-07T20:29:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

For those of you who have followed this blog regularly, know that we have attempted to update the status on a nightly basis. Today’s update is serving for both Monday and Tuesday due primarily to Steve dealing with the lingering effects of the anesthesia Monday evening after port being implanted (which was successful).

Today, Bonnie had her port surgically implanted, although her port is a dual port compared to my (Steve) single. Bonnie’s three bone marrow biopsies compared to my two, now a dual port compared to a single port. From a competition standpoint, Bonnie has the upper hand, except she didn’t get four miniscule tattoos and radiation therapy like me (Steve), but I suppose that doesn’t come close to enduring a hospital room for 58 days and all the amenities that come with it.

On a more serious note, we are praising God for the positive news of Bonnie’s recent bone marrow biopsy, which showed that she is in complete remission. As a leukemia patient, even though she is in remission, she will still need a bone marrow transplant and that process will start next Wednesday when we meet with our new team of doctors from Karmanos Cancer Center in Detroit. They will handle the bone marrow typing of Bonnie’s siblings and begin the matching process. Please pray that God will bring the donor matching Bonnie’s type as soon as possible so she can avoid having to do follow up consolidation chemo treatment, which will be possibly a couple of months from now. The consolidation treatment is to keep Bonnie in remission.

My radiation treatments were suspended after yesterday’s (Monday) as I now have one full week of treatments completed. My chemotherapy starts Thursday and will run its course over 9 weeks followed by the balance of the radiation therapy remaining (3 weeks – 5 times per week).

The pain I (Steve) had in my side that sent me to the emergency room a couple of weeks ago has finally subsided. I have gone four days without taking Torodol, which is the strong medicine that my oncologist wanted me to stop as soon as possible. Thank you for your specific prayers on this issue.

Assuming everything goes well this evening (Tuesday) for Bonnie, she will be discharged tomorrow! All of Bonnie’s IV hoses have been disconnected so she has been free of the IV tower she has had to cart around with her for the past 8 weeks. I suspect when she is back home that in the middle of the night she will grab my arm and try to drag me to the bathroom as if she were taking the IV tower for a walk. Today she walked stairs and laps around the floor and sat outside for 45 minutes this afternoon. So she is getting stronger by the minute.

It’s amazing what we have learned about blood since we have been here. Once Bonnie’s white blood cell count came up with a high percent being neutrophils, it is amazing the healing that naturally started to occur within her body. For example, the biopsy of the colon revealed that she had a certain type of infection and some of the reason for the problems with diarrhea. Once her WBC counts started coming up, one of the areas in the body that continually renews WBC is the colon and these WBC attacked the infection and it is virtually gone. Overall the blood cleanses the body of it impurities, if the blood is in the right order.

I can’t help but think of the parallel between how our blood cleanses our bodies from impurities and how God used blood to cleanse our souls from the impurities of sin, through the shed blood of His Son, Jesus. Thank you again for all your prayers, cards and notes of encouragement. Psalm 28:6-7 says:

Blessed be the LORD!
For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.
The LORD is my strength and my shield;
in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped;
my heart exults,
and with my song I give thanks to Him.

We never could have made it through this segment of our long journey without the prayers of so many.

Thank you.

2009-07-05T21:45:00.000-04:00

Sunday,

Hi all. Hope everyone had a nice Fourth of July weekend. Just a quick update as Bonnie and I head into a new week. First of all the updates for the weekend.

Thursday was Bonnie's stepfather's memorial service and that was very hard for us (Bonnie particularly) to miss. Bonnie's brother Rick and his family flew in from Arizona for it. On Friday Rick and his wife Kathryn drove down from Gaylord and visited Bonnie and I for a few hours.

As many of you know we watch fireworks every 4th up at Lake Charlevoix. This is a time we (Bonnie particularly) look forward to and like so many other things that have changed or we have missed since May 12th, this was one of those difficult times. God is faithful and gracious at all times, including those that are more difficult times than others. We were able to go out on the outdoor patio 4 rooms down the hall from Bonnie's room and watch Lansing's fireworks. The interesting thing is that the announced fireworks were in a location almost due west from our patio so we had some obstructions with the view, but was able to get Bonnie out of her wheel chair standing up on a bench for a few minutes so she could enjoy the display. After she sat back down and it appeared the show was over a second longer show started which was directly north of our patio and no obstructions. We sat there and watched another 35 minutes of fireworks and they were better than the first batch. Attached is a poor photo from my camera phone.

Tomorrow at 4:15 I (Steve) have my port surgically implanted. Bonnie's most likely will be Tuesday. It looks very good that Bonnie will be discharged mid-week, which brings great joy along with the fear of the unknown of going on to the next stage of a transplant. Pray that God will be our fear and He will replace the other fear with His continued peace.

Thank you for your continued prayers!

2009-07-02T21:11:00.000-04:00

Thursday,

Just a quick update for the night. Besides my (Steve) fourth day of radiation, the only other event of note today was Bonnie's third bone marrow biopsy. She is now one up on me. It went very well and we should have the results on Monday, along with the results of the colonoscopy biopsy. Please pray that the bone marrow is clear of blasts and that she is in remission. Also pray that the biopsy of her colon turns out to be a type of colitis that will heal in time as opposed to a new ongoing thing she will have to deal with on top of the leukemia.

Most likely Bonnie will have her permanent port implanted next Tuesday, so I will get mine before hers. The doctors need to see the results of the biopsies before putting her port in.

Please pray that Bonnie will start to eat and get up and walk now that all the testing is done. She needs to get off the food IV bag and the doctors are ready to see her plan to go home soon. I would suspect sometime next week after the port is implanted.

I (Steve) am dealing with nightly fevers and sweats as part of the lymphoma. Please pray that I can get rest. Even though I'm now spending the night at home now, I'm still not sleeping that well due to the side effects of the radiation as well as the lymphoma symptoms.

It's getting a little more challenging to keep up to date on the nightly blog post due to my condition. I continue to ask God for strength to be able to share with all of you the status of our physical, emotional and spiritual health. Because there really isn't much going on between now and the port I will have implanted Monday due to it being a holiday weekend, Bonnie and I are more or less just hanging out at the hospital.

I've decided that because everyone else has a holiday weekend, we are going to take off the daily updating for a couple of days. If something happens that we want to update you on, we will, otherwise we will post Sunday night.

Thanks again for all your prayers.

2009-07-01T19:52:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

Bonnie and I would like to start off tonight by thanking everyone who has somehow been involved with caring for our family, from:

1) Praying fervently
2) Helping out with meals
3) Sending Cards, Notes and e-mails
4) Encouraging gifts
5) Sending care packages to Steve
6) Providing Bonnie’s nursing staff with goodies
7) Dropping off balloon bouquets twisted in the shape of flowers
8) Helping out with our kids
9) Helping out with Cassandra’s openhouse

We’re sure we have missed something, but in general we are so appreciative of all the support we have received since we embarked on this life changing event. Thank you so much!

Bonnie’s colonoscopy was completed today which revealed some small colitis which was part of the yeast infection she previously had. The doctors identified this irritation in part of her intestine and they are treating it with an antibiotic. Because of this, Bonnie also had a CT Scan of her GI tract to see if a spot by her liver was part of that yeast infection as they compare it to an earlier scan. Please pray the colitis is healed quickly so Bonnie can go home.

Tomorrow (Thursday), Bonnie will have another bone marrow biopsy. Please pray it is clear of blast cells so she will be considered in remission. As we have mentioned several times over the weeks, we have to take things one day at a time. As the time nears that we can see Bonnie potentially going home, we still have a long road ahead of us with the bone marrow transplant. She becomes a little overwhelmed thinking about the calendar and how long this process is because of the amount of time we have already spent here at Sparrow. Please pray that Bonnie will continue to be at peace and also have the endurance and stamina as new things come up that she may not have remembered in previous conversations because of the chemo.

I continue to have radiation treatment, but at this point do not have any indication of the mass shrinking. It may take several treatments. Today I had severe pain with my kidney area again as I tried not to take the medication that I was given in the emergency room last Saturday (Toradol). My doctor would like me off it as soon as I can, so I tried today and had a flare up of the same pain that sent me to the emergency room. A good friend of mine who works here at Sparrow had a couple of radiologists read my original MRI and compare to the CT Scans I had. It appears the ureter from the kidney is enflamed indicating a stone may have been passed and the reason for the pain. Please pray that the pain will subside and I can get off this medication that helps the pain.

I continue to have nightly fevers as well as night sweats which is part of the lymphoma. My doctors are stressing the importance of me getting rest and have suggested I sleep at home as opposed to Bonnie’s room. Please pray that Bonnie can adjust and regain the strength she needs to do things for herself, which will accelerate the time frame for her discharge.

Holding strong because of your prayers!

Steve & Bonnie

2009-06-30T20:00:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

Another update on our ongoing journey that commenced on May 12th. First the numbers on Bonnie. Normally the process is to draw labs on Bonnie once each day early in the morning, so the numbers I report on the blog post at night are from that morning’s lab results. Today they did a draw at both 6:00 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. The results of the 6:00 a.m. draw were WBC at 7,700 (of which the disease fighting ones -Neutrophils were 81%) and no sign of leukemia cells. Her platelet count was down to 11,000 and her hemoglobin was 8.2. The doctors ordered two platelet transfusions because of how low she was (11,000) and redid the labs at 1:30 this afternoon. Her WBC jumped to 9,400 and the platelets increased to 54,000. Her hemoglobin dropped to 7.9 so she is getting a unit of red blood as I (Steve) type. She also received a third transfusion of platelets in preparation of a colonoscopy. Bonnie actually has more WBC than I do based on my most recent lab draw Saturday where I was at 6,600 with 54% Neutrophils. My numbers are within the normal range, but find it interesting that she blew right by me.

The colonoscopy is scheduled for at 10:15 tomorrow (Wednesday) so Bonnie has started the “wonderful” prep process to clear out whatever is in her (which isn’t much because of being on a food IV bag). Please pray that she won’t have anxiety anticipating this procedure and will be able to handle the up and down this evening of the prep results.

On Thursday she will have her third bone marrow biopsy to confirm that she is in remission. The doctors are confident that is the case because there have been no signs of blast cells in her blood work. With her numbers high, they would like to see Bonnie preparing herself to go home shortly, but she needs to get off the food IV bag and get up around walking (which she did a little today).

Please pray that the colonoscopy shows she is clear of any infection or colitis, that she will find enough inner strength to get out of bed to walk so her muscles continued to be strengthened and she can go home soon.

As for me (Steve), I had my second day of radiation and will continue to do so tomorrow and Thursday. I met with my oncologist today to discuss the results of the two key tests: bone marrow biopsy and the PET Scan. I have a praise for both. The biopsy shows my bone marrow is clear! The PET Scan shows that the only location for my lymphoma is in my sacrum, so no other locations in my torso. The PET Scan did show though that the mass in my sacrum is also in the tissue, so I am classified as a Stage 1 E. My treatment will be (as previously stated) 3 cycles of chemo and 1 cycle of radiation. This is considered a very treatable disease, just in a difficult location. Please pray that the radiation will quickly shrink the mass so the pain and numbing is lessened and ultimately eliminated.

I am scheduled for a permanent port to be surgically implanted on Monday at 4:00. Interestingly, the surgeon I met with today is the very first doctor Bonnie and I met the following morning after she was admitted on May 12th. He was the surgeon who installed the triple lumen IV port in Bonnie’s chest. I will caution you to be careful what you wish for. As I watched him surgically put this IV port in Bonnie, I was so impressed with both his tactical approach to surgery as well as his bedside manner, I mentioned to several people that same day and a few days following, “If I ever had to have surgery, I would want Dr. McKenna doing it! I’m very impressed by how efficient he is!” Well, Dr. McKenna is my surgeon, and I didn’t even have to ask for him.

The statement “Be careful for what you wish for” made me think of hoping for the best outcomes of our prayers and making promises and vows. With the amount of prayers that we have poured out to God regarding our situation, I think sometimes it’s easy to fall into a trap of putting conditions on our prayers that we’ll do something different with our lives if God performs a certain way. God may be trying to get our attention and reform our lives and use our situation for a hundred different reasons, but at the same time I don’t think He is interested in a prayer from me that is conditional.

I recall reading a story a few weeks back from the Old Testament that causes me to pause every time I read it. It is from the Book of Judges 11: 29-40 and the story of a man named Jephthah and a vow he made that he didn’t think through very well when he made it. Many reading this blog may be familiar with the story of Jephthah, but others may not be aware it at all. Jephthah was a mighty warrior that God used to show Israel God’s strength in attacking neighboring countries. The Ammonites were one of those thorns in Israel’s side and Jephthah said to God, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, then whatever comes out from the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the Ammonites shall be the LORD's, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.” God gave Jephthah great victory and when Jephthah returned home the first thing that came out of his house was his only daughter. I can’t imagine the grief Jephthah experienced instead of the euphoria of a great victory.

This story has a sobering ending to it. I always wondered why Jephthah wouldn’t plead to God and ask for an alternative solution to the vow. I’m not a biblical/history major, but I do know that in those days vows were taken very seriously and never broken. If I put a condition on a prayer to God, what are the chances I’ll keep that vow? God doesn’t want me to put a promise or condition on my prayer no matter how strong I might feel about that promise at the time, instead He desires that I commit my whole self to Him on a daily basis and this is done through putting my faith and trust in His son Jesus, who kept the commitment of living a sinless life, who suffered and died and rose again so I didn’t have to suffer the consequences of not keeping the only promise a holy God expects from me and that is a life free of sin. I am thankful to God that He keeps His promises and never changes. As long as we have put our faith and trust in Christ, we can rest in the fact that we will have eternal life and don’t need to make any promises to God in our prayers. And that in and of itself is the overabundant peace we have been drawing from throughout this trial.

Again, Thank you for your prayers!

2009-06-29T21:30:00.001-04:00

Monday,

This is going to be a quick update post tonight as I (Steve) have a MUGA Scan test at 8:30 tonight.

Bonnie’s WBC are now 4,400, so we continue to rejoice each days as the lab results are returned. Her platelets are still low and she received another transfusion today to help provide a boost. To put the platelets into perspective (I may have done this several weeks ago), the normal body has between 100,000 and 150,000 platelets to help coagulate the blood. Today, Bonnie’s platelets were 19,000.
The team of physicians have discussed Bonnies GI tract and protruding stomach and would like Bonnie to have a colonoscopy now that her WBC count is at the level it is now. A colonoscopy will help them determine more clearly what is going on with the bowels and diarrhea, something they couldn’t do before. The GI doctor doesn’t want to do the colonoscopy until Bonnie’s platelets are above 45,000. A couple of transfusions can get Bonnie to that level, but it sure would be nice to see the platelet levels increase all on their own. So those of you who want a specific way to pray, please pray that Bonnie’s platelets will increase without a transfusion.
Please continue to pray for physical strength and mental determination for Bonnie to get up the courage to walk. Several doctors have commented that moving around will only benefit Bonnie’s GI tract.

As for me, I had my first round of radiation this morning. As far as I can tell I don’t glow in the dark, but will make sure this evening when it gets dark! I will continue radiation treatment tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday with Friday off. I also have a meeting with my oncologist tomorrow to discuss the results of both the bone marrow biopsy as well as the PET Scan that was completed last Friday. Later tomorrow I have a consultation with the surgeon who will install the permanent port in me sometime in the next week. This will be used for the chemo treatments when they start.

Off to my MUGA Scan. I’ve spiking a fever the last few nights as a result of the lymphoma. Please pray that I can manage these with Tylenol. Thanks!

2009-06-28T20:54:00.000-04:00

Sunday,

An exciting Lord’s Day as we continue to see vast improvement in Bonnie’s WBC now at 3,000, which doubled yesterday’s level. The neutrophils are still at 80% of the total and still no blasts (leukemia cells). Her platelets are still low as is the hemoglobin, but we are rejoicing at how quickly and how well she is responding to the Neupogen injections that help promote the growth of the WBCs.

Today Bonnie was able to taste Applewood Ham on a Jimmy Johns sub sandwich, along with the tartness and juice of two apple slices (carefully peeled). She tried a small piece of chocolate, but no taste or appetite for that. But again a praise that some of her taste buds are maybe returning.

As requested yesterday, please continue to pray that Bonnie’s body will absorb the increase in protein in her food IV bag as well as any protein she may eat to help remove her bloated stomach, which is very uncomfortable every time she moves or bends.

Pray for energy for Bonnie. Some of her energy level tracks with the level of her hemoglobin, so it will slowly come back, but it will be good for Bonnie to get up and about and start walking again. This will also help her GI tract and reduce the bloating of her stomach. She is sitting up in a chair for several hours each day.
She is also retaining fluids and her ankles and legs are swelling so she has to keep them elevated. So pray that the water retention will end. She is obviously anxious to get home and once her WBC hit 10,000 that will be the next step, however she will need to shed the IV food bag and have strength to get around. So pray that the external eating will continue to improve and she regains the strength to regain her energy.

As far as my (Steve) situation, it has improved greatly from the painful day I experienced yesterday. I ended up going to the emergency room last night around 10:30 with the continued intense pain on the left side of my abdomen wrapping around my back. Because of the severe constipation and the continued pain I suspected a possible blockage in my intestines. At first the emergency physician suspected I had a kidney stone due to where the pain was located combined with small traces of blood in my urine. They injected a specific pain killer designed for organs and within minutes my pain was eliminated. The CT Scan confirmed that it was not a kidney stone but rather the mass on my sacrum pressing against ureter, which is the muscle duct that propels the urine from the kidney. The pressure against this duct would give me similar pain to a kidney stone.

With the pain eliminated and the confirmation that I did not have a blockage in my intestines enabled me to relax and allow my intestines to contract and expand more normally and helped to eliminate the constipation. I feel like a totally different person today and more like me as opposed to rolled up in a ball for the better part of the day yesterday trying to manage pain that my other pain pills were not touching. Thank you for your prayers.

I’m waiting for the official results on both my bone marrow biopsy as well as the PET scan that was completed Friday. Tomorrow I have my first day of radiation. Please pray that I can endure lying on my back on the hard radiation table for approximately 35 to 45 minutes for setting up the actual 3 minute radiation. The main pressure point for me on the table happens to be right on my sacrum so it is extremely painful. I’ve been told that the radiation should shrink the mass after the first two or three sessions. Please pray that the shrinkage will take pressure off the nerve endings which will give me overall relief and maybe eliminate the need for the pain medication.

On a few occasions I’ve had comments made to me (in a complimentary way so to speak) that it just doesn’t seem right that “Steve and Bonnie Opper of all people, should be the ones going through this”. It would be easy to say it just doesn’t to seem fair. Or with the unusual circumstance we face that it just doesn’t seem fair the both of our kids parents should be diagnosed with cancer within weeks of each other. It reminds me of the many times over the years that I have attempted to explain to my kids that “life isn’t fair”. I think it’s so easy to say “why me” or “why us”, “why not so and so”? As we have stated previously, we don’t know what God has in store and how he will use this circumstance in our lives to bring glory to Himself, but whether life is fair or not is up to God. I’ve used three biblical examples with my kids in the past years I happened to recall today.

The first one was Moses. Here God called Moses to lead His people out of Egypt. Throughout the years Moses interceded on behalf of an obstinate stubborn people who seemed to always have something to complain about. Moses on the other hand was faithful to God in following God’s instructions with the exception of one time where in the book of Numbers 20 he (Moses) was upset when the people complained about not having water and Moses struck the rock instead of telling the water to come out of the rock. Because of this one instance Moses was band from entering the Promised Land. Here he had to establish God’s law, deal with lawless people and wander in the wilderness and never enter the Promised Land, which had been the goal since day one of God calling Moses to go to Egypt to be used of God to lead the people out. Was that fair to Moses after “slipping up” one time when he had been so faithful to God? God is holy and His will is perfect. From the best I can tell in reading this section of scripture Moses never complained to God about God’s discipline and action He took banning Moses from going into the Promised Land. Moses accepted God’s will for his life.

The second example I used with my kids was from the same time frame only this time it involved Joshua and Caleb, two of the twelve spies who were commissioned to spy out the Promised Land. After spending 40 days on the spy trail, the spies returned with the wonderful fruits of the land and confirmation that it indeed was the land they had been told about, yet, ten of the spies were afraid of the nations in the land and lacked the faith that they could defeat the inhabitants so they created fear among the masses which all turned on Moses. Caleb and Joshua were the only two who had the faith and were bold enough to follow God’s instructions of subduing the land. Needless to say, Israel chose to listen to the 10 spies without the faith and God ultimately punished Israel one year for each day they spied out the land, or a total of 40 years they would have to wander in the wilderness until all from that generation had passed away, except Caleb and Joshua. Was it fair that Caleb and Joshua also had to wander for 40 more years, when they knew that God would have been with them had they gone into the Promised Land immediately? Maybe not, but God used those 40 years to prepare Joshua to take over for Moses when the time was right. Caleb was a patriarch when Israel actually entered and demonstrated to the younger Israelites how to obey God and follow His instructions.

The last example I always used was Jesus. Was it fair that He was sent to this earth from His highly esteemed place at the right hand of God as a frail human, who endured human trials, survived the devil’s temptations, healed people, taught people about who God is, lived a sinless life and yet was spit upon, arrested and crucified? Was it fair that He should be the one to suffer through this?

When I think about these three examples and the many others in scripture it helps to put into light how trivial our situation is in the bid scheme of God’s overall plan for the redemption of His people. Is it hard? Yes. Do we wake up each day with doubts, particularly after a long night? Yes. Does the timing of all this seem frustrating? Yes. Following all these answers of “yes” however is a “but”, and that is the “but” we have tried to share since the commencement of this blog. God is bigger than we are and He has a greater purpose and we can either choose to accept the burden He has laid on us knowing He loves us or we can abandon Him and go it alone. Those are our two choices. We’re glad we are not going alone, but glad God is present. His word is very clear in Matthew 18:20:

“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them”

There are two of us here in this hospital room gathered in Jesus’ name and He is a man of His word that He is among us.

Sorry for the length of this, but we appreciate your interest and going along with us on this journey.

God Bless you!

2009-06-27T20:06:00.000-04:00

Saturday,

Day 47. I (Bonnie) have indeed turned the corner for the positive in this phase of my treatment. Today my WBC registered at 1500, up from 800 yesterday. The Neutrophils are holding steady at about 80% of those WBC and there hasn’t been any sign of blasts (leukemia cells) thus far which is truly an answer to prayer. My platelets were low again so I had another transfusion of those today. Please pray for wisdom for us on the next steps as my WBC count continues to climb. Once I’m at 10.000, I will be transitioning to the bone marrow transplant phase.

Please pray that my body will absorb more protein in both the food IV as well any normal protein I may eat. The doctor has increased the amount of protein in the food IV. The lack of protein being absorb is causing my stomach to protrude and be bloated. I feel like I’m 4 months pregnant but this should subside once my body begins to absorb the protein.

I haven’t gotten back to walking laps, but do get out of the room in a wheel chair a couple of times each day. The last couple of days have been challenging for Steve to assist me because of the ongoing constipation due to the pain medication he needs to take to relieve the pressure in his sacrum. He has tried every physician regiment and is now taking the strongest medicine to counter the constipation, but nothing seems to work. The cramping is so intense it comes right through the pain medication. Pray that he will have relief and that somehow he can manage both this issue and the pain at the same time.

We have to continue to trust God that He knows best for our situation, although it is easy to become discouraged when I (Steve) want to jump up and help Bonnie yet have to fight through the pain caused by both the sacrum as well as the constipation. We know life is full of heartaches and issues. Some of them are brought on by ourselves and others things that happen are out of our control. It’s so easy to want to be in control of the situation even when we recognize God is in control; such as, I (Steve) want to continue doing everything for Bonnie as I was before and now God is saying “no”. I have to understand that I am “but a vapor”, but God knows who I am because of His love and kindness and we need to be in awe of who God is to better put into perspective the “little” things I’m trying to control here on earth. Amos 4:13 says:

For behold, He who forms mountains and creates the wind and declares to man what are His thoughts, He who makes dawn into darkness and treads on the high places of the earth, the Lord God of hosts is His name.

And Jeremiah 51:15 says:

It is He who made the earth by His power, who established the world by His wisdom, and by His understanding he stretched out the heavens.

Please pray that we find comfort in God because of His holiness and who He is and that He will be glorified in all of our actions, not just how we’re handling this situation, but that it will be sustained for years to come.

Thanks for your care!

2009-06-26T22:57:00.000-04:00

Friday,

Bonnie’s White Blood Cells doubled from 400 yesterday to 800 today, and of these new WBC, 80% are the disease fighting type that her body needs. Obviously we are thrilled and very excited to see what God has in store tomorrow. Thank you so much for your specific prayers on this extremely important part of her recovery.

Even though she now has 800 WBC, the doctors stressed that Bonnie continues to be on “neutropenic watch”. This is a fancy name for being extremely cautious in everything see does in and out of the room; from the food that can and can’t enter the room, face masking and washing of hands every time in and out of the room and no flowers (thank you to many of you who sent cards with flowers on the front – which have been taped up on the wall together as sort of a flower collage).

The Infectious Disease doctors again stopped by and said the cultures have yet to grow anything new of concern. They are slowly going to start eliminating some of the IV antibiotics which ultimately means fewer interruptions in the night. The diarrhea has slowed down considerably and now we have to work through the mental aspects as I (Steve) mentioned yesterday.

Bonnie’s overall stability continues to be the ultimate objective so we can get to the next step of the bone marrow transplant process. Please continue to pray that we would see significant improvement over the weekend.

Today I (Steve) had both a PET Scan and a radiation setup. I should know the result of the bone marrow biopsy and the PET Scan on Monday. The radiation setup process was to prepare for my first round of radiation on Monday which will continue throughout the week until the chemo process is set up.

I continue to deal with extreme pain in the sacrum area. The prayer is that the radiation will shrink the mass enough to eliminate some of the pain on the nerve endings. The doctors have changed the pain medication which has helped to minimize the discomfort, but this medicine not only makes me extremely tired (I keep falling asleep as I write this), but is like all other pain medications in that it causes constipation. Thus far we’ve been fairly transparent on this blog, so I decided why not also ask for prayer on this issue as well. The doctors have a written regiment for pain pill constipation and thus far nothing has worked. Please pray that I’ll find relief and at the same time manage the pain.

As we were getting ready to shut out the lights for the night in our room, I assisted Bonnie in the bathroom with getting ready for bed and while she was standing we hugged one another. It was such an emotional charge to each of our physical and mental batteries just to hold one another in our arms. I reminded her we are not alone in this battle. We need to praise God that we’re not alone because Christ is at the center of our marriage. We know that there have been many occasions to discuss praising God with one another, with our kids and in previous blog post. I was so encouraged the other day when our son Caleb pointed out to me something in his daily Bible reading that was titled “How Can I praise God When Life Doesn’t Go Well?” It was based on Psalm 77:11-12:

“I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, and talk of Your deeds.”

The devotional started off by saying:

“When life’s twists and turns take you down unexpected and difficult roads, it can sometimes feel strange to praise the Lord. Yet He seeks our praise in ALL things – whether they appear good to us or not. So how can you praise God when adversity finds its way into your life? First, remember that our God is good and always gives us ample reason to praise Him. Second, remember that God’s overriding purpose in your life is to glorify Him and that He will use any means necessary to accomplish that. Ask Him to change your perspective so that you will see your life circumstances as he does. Third, by exercising your will, make a conscious choice to praise Him. Despite how you may feel, praise really can flow from you like a fountain.” Dr. Charles Stanley

Tonight the embrace we had in each others’ arms along with consciously recognizing we were not alone, but surrounded by Christ’s love, IS the source of that fountain of praise we continue to draw from as we strive to preserve through this trial.

Thank you again for all your prayers!

2009-06-25T23:03:00.000-04:00

Thursday,

Bonnie’s White Blood Cells continue to climb, which now rest at 400. Approximately 9600 more to go, but we are taking it one day at a time. Not seeing any movement and staying at zero WBC for the past 15 or so days it was a great challenge to not to start doubting the timing, which in reality was doubting God’s “perfect” timing of when He wanted them to start growing and multiplying. We allowed the impatience of the moment to crowd our mind from worshipping God for who He is and the grace and mercy He has poured out on us. Please pray that our minds will be clear from the subtle distractions of doubt and impatience that periodically try to creep into our minds.

The other exciting news about the white blood cell count is, of the 400 WBC, 80% are the disease fighting kind (neutrophils). This is at the high end of the normal range for this percent and the doctors are very pleased with the results thus far. The yeast cultures also continue to be negative, her rash is softening and skin peeling. I told Bonnie when this is all done she will probably have the skin of a 25 year old. Tonight I saw the familiar sparkle in her eyes, which for me has been missing for the past couple of days.

Please pray that God will take away her fear of straying too far from the bathroom. The diarrhea has slowed down considerably, however there is still a conditioned response after almost a month of having diarrhea that any movement in bed or elsewhere will start the process. This has caused her to become anxious such that she is apprehensive to leave the bed. I encouraged her this evening to get in the wheel chair and we rode out to the atrium for a while followed by a few minutes on the outdoor patio. We then came back to the room where she was willing to do a couple of physical therapy moves. Holding a chair and bending her knees up and down 10 times followed by holding the back of the same chair and lift her left foot then right foot 10 times. That did her in, but it is a start and I reassured her that we are taking it one day at a time, as I mentioned earlier about her WBC count. Pray that she will continue to see the need to do the PT, no matter how simple it may seem to her.

As for me, my tests continue tomorrow (Friday) with the PET scan which uses a special glucose that will adhere to the areas where lymphoma is present. Please pray it is only in my sacrum and not in other areas of my body. Also pray for my use of pain management. I am apprehensive to use pain killers, however the pain continues to escalate each day so the doctors want me to use them regularly, however there is a very inconvenient side effect that is, let’s just say is the opposite of what Bonnie has been dealing with in the bathroom for the past month. We make quite a pair.

Because of the increasing pain coming from my sacrum anytime I move, whether walking, sitting or lying down, my Oncologist and Radiologist have conferenced and determine to start radiation immediately to try to shrink the mass which hopefully will take the pressure of the nerve endings on this part of my spine. One I’m ready for chemotherapy treatments, they will suspend the balance of the 4 week/5 times per week radiation and start and finish the chemo portion before resuming the radiation. Please pray that the radiation next week will reduce the size of the mass relieving the pressure on my nerve endings.

Speaking of pressure, I am often asked how I (Steve) am handling the pressure of now dealing with my own disease, caring for Bonnie’s and managing our children. I will conclude by saying that regardless of the incredible circumstances that our family is facing and the monumental path ahead of us, I can honestly say without question that I have a joy in my heart that is difficult to describe. I can say we’re joyful or happy or content about many things in life, but to say I have joy when my wife has leukemia, I have lymphoma and my children are wondering about their parents’ long term health, it may seem odd to you to hear me say I’m “joyful”. I’m joyful knowing that there is more to this life of pain and suffering and it is the love of Christ and what He did for me on the cross that has turned my sorrow into an everlasting joy. James 1:2-4 says:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

Our faith is being tested hourly. Please pray that we continue to pass the test and that we remain steadfast and lack nothing in Christ.

2009-06-24T22:12:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

Thank you to all you faithful participants of reading this blog. I knew this day would eventually come where I (Steve) didn't have the time to work on this update do to unforseen circumstances.

I will leave you with this, Bonnie's WBC are now 300 and the neutrophils are around 80% of those. Overall I would say Bonnie had a good day. She did get some transfusios of platelets as she continues to have some blood in her stools. Please pray this will stop.

Me on the other hand am in pretty rough shape. The bone marrow biopsy procedure was a little different than Bonnie's as it relates to what was done as well as the premedications. Little did I know that I was getting two biopsys, one on each side, and the pre-meds consisted of Ativan (something to relax you) and a localized shot in the area of the biopsy, which consisted of two shots of Lidocaine (like Novacaine at the Dentist). Bonnie had morphine with one of her procedures and Demerol with the second.

The Pathologist said I would feel pressure but no pain. I have a very high pain tolerance and I would have to say this was the most extreme pain I have ever felt. They believe the reason for it was due to the mass on my sacrum possibly pushing on nerve endings from the pressure of the procedure.

Between the pain pills and the overall exhaustion of the process, I laid down at around 5:00 p.m.and didn't wake up until 10:15. I'm still pretty uncomfortable, so coninue to pray that God will reduce the pain and that the results show that my bone marrow is normal.

Because of the nerve pain I'm experiencing, the doctors have decided to reverse the process and give me radiation first followed by the chemo....once all the tests are complete, which will be by mid-week next week. Our good friend Marty Johnson works in radiation therapy, so we have an excellent source in navigating these new waters we're in.

We had a few family stop by today and commented on how good Bonnie looks. We're hopeful that as the WBC continue to come in she will get more strength. The tastebuds won't return for a while, but she is getting nice new skin underneath that which is peeling.

I will do a better update tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers.

2009-06-23T23:17:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

After a night of an elevated heart rate of 180 which created quite a stir amongst the nursing staff, Bonnie actually slept fairly well before and after the escapade. Today we saw our real first glimmer of progress. Bonnie’s WBC count this morning was 200 of which 150 were the good ones (neutrophils). Just for clarification, the other 50 WBC are not necessarily bad ones (not sure the purpose they serve – that comes in Hematology 201). The bad ones, blasts, are still at zero. We are encouraged by the news obviously, but also understand that right now these cells are being counted by hand, so there is room for error, such as what happened over a week ago. We had one day that showed 100 WBC followed by zero WBC for over a week. We have had two days starting on Sunday where she was at 100 and now 200 today. Please continue to pray that these will continue to multiply quickly.

Other good news is another day with no new growth in the blood cultures that were taken many days ago to determine the status of the yeast infection. The Infectious Disease physicians are keeping Bonnie on some of the added antibiotics for a few more days just to make sure she is in the clear. This is a huge answer to prayer. We are so thankful to God for His healing hand and the wisdom and discernment He gifted the doctors with to protect Bonnie from further complications.

Her diarrhea seems to be slowing down a little, but she is still somewhat apprehensive about when the next bout may hit, so please pray that God will remove her anxiousness and that Bonnie will hold onto the verse she repeats often throughout the day from Philippians 4:6-7:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Another area of prayer for Bonnie is her memory. From my meeting with Bonnie’s doctor (I guess I should now say our doctor) yesterday, he informed me that I also would have “chemo brain” like Bonnie once my chemo treatment starts for my Lymphoma. There are little things that I have to keep reminding her that the doctor says it is okay, such as certain foods or the use of a warm blanket. She is afraid that by having a warm blanket that it will trigger a fever. I have to reassure her over and over that if she doesn’t have a fever that she isn’t going to do anything to cause it to reoccur.

As for me, I have my bone marrow biopsy scheduled for 1:30pm tomorrow (Wednesday). The balance of the tests I need to have scheduled will be done so tomorrow. I’m beginning to experience a fair amount of shooting pain as well as constant pain that thus far is manageable with pain pills (which I don’t really like to take). Please pray that I can endure not only the pain, but mentally continue to manage Bonnie’s healthcare, my health as well as my kids and their activities.

For those of you who reading this that are either out of the local region or don’t know us as well as others, we have an incredible amount of support from family and friends standing ready to do anything we need to have done. So if you’re wondering about our children, yes they need prayer for God’s protection emotionally and spiritually, but they have ample opportunity to keep busy with family and friends. The few times I’ve been home, I have been amazed by the growth and maturity I see in each of them and am so grateful to God for answering the many prayers for their protection.

Daily I am reminded of Romans 12:10 that says:

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." (English Standard Version)

I actually prefer the New American Standard Version which says:

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves."

I like the word “devotion”. We have been the recipient of countless acts of ministry from those who have devoted themselves to our family beyond comprehension. Thank you for your devotion to us!

2009-06-22T22:30:00.000-04:00

Monday,

Each day as we wait for a positive change in Bonnie’s WBC count we were told the objective was to get to the point it would be boring for Bonnie. Unfortunately as we have shared countless times it has been anything but boring for Bonnie, rather frustrating battling the diarrhea, fevers and fatigue. Last night was another long evening that included new monitoring of Bonnie due to a higher than normal heart rate. Because of this an EKG was ordered and a heart monitor was connected to Bonnie. Her fever spiked to 101.8 degrees early in the evening so Bonnie made the elective decision to try the cooling blanket early in the evening as opposed to waiting until the temp exceeded 103 degrees in the middle of the night. It worked and brought her fever back down to just under 99 degrees, however the earlier temp of 101.8, which was around 8:00 p.m. triggered a standing order for a chest xray and blood cultures, both of which came at 1:00 in the morning.

Today Bonnie’s WBC are holding at 100 with 70 of them being the good cells (neutrophils). Also another day has gone by with no growth in the yeast culture, so that appears to be under control. Bonnie’s mom spent most of the day to day with Bonnie and from the report I received, it sounded like she got out of her room a couple of times, particularly to the atrium she so much enjoys. Please continue to pray for Bonnie’s eating. She is getting nutrition through the IV food bag, but so much wants to get off that, but still struggles finding something satisfying to eat. She worked so hard on eating her breakfast this morning only to throw it up 10 minutes later, so she was quite discouraged.

I (Steve) am staying at home tonight for the first night since Bonnie was admitted on May 12th. Bonnie’s mom has taken on both the day and night shift which has given me the opportunity to spend the day and evening with my kids, which has been a pleasant break and am thankful for it.

Those of you who have been following Bonnie’s status since the initial week may recall a comment we made that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. This may have been mentioned more than once in a couple of different ways. Well today the stakes were elevated and the challenge is on to see if we can put our words into action with more on our plate. As most of you know, I (Steve) had a biopsy completed this past Thursday for a mass that was found on my sacrum from a recent MRI. Today I got the results of that biopsy and have been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Diffused Large B-Cell Lymphoma. That is a mouthful so let’s stick with B-Cell Lymphoma. Part of me wants to say what more can we endure and part of me wants to try to find humor in the possibility of both Bonnie and I being bald at the same time and the irony of the whole situation.

B-Cell Lymphoma is the most common non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and very treatable with chemotherapy and radiation. I will have a few tests prior to the start of chemo to determine what stage I am currently at. The key test is the PET Scan which looks for metabolic issues with tissues or in other words cancer cells. A “labeled glucose” is injected into my blood through and IV to see where it accumulates in my torso or trunk. The glucose accumulates where the lymphoma is. The prayer request is that it is isolated only in my sacrum area which would be considered stage 1. Assuming that to be the case, I will go through 3 cycles of chemotherapy as an outpatient. That was the encouraging news I wanted to hear so as I am able, I can still care for Bonnie. From what I learned in my quick orientation today is 1 cycle equals 3 weeks. I will spend an entire day at Sparrow in the cancer center receiving the chemo, followed by 4 days of steroids and then wait two weeks and repeat that process two more times. This then will be followed by radiation with the hopes of shrinking the mass and containing it.

If the PET Scan reveals other areas where the glucose accumulates, then it is Stage 2 or 3 depending on the number of locations and will require a minimum of 6 cycles of chemo. Again, I emphasize the blessing that all this is completed as an outpatient.

I will also require a bone marrow biopsy to see what it going on within the marrow. Now I’m regretting watching both of Bonnie’s bone marrow biopsy procedures. I had an option of being put under for it, but took the same path as Bonnie of just a localized anethestic, not because I didn’t want to be labeled a “wimp”, but rather it will be quicker to get completed and will mean starting chemo sooner.

Please pray for Bonnie and our kids as this was something they obviously didn’t want to hear today when I shared the news with them. I am hopeful that this new development gives Bonnie that much more drive and determination to fight as hard as she can with her battle. I pray that this pushes my children closer to God and relying on Him and finding their security in Him and not necessarily the earthly parents that God gave them for a while. I don’t say that as a negative comment, I just strongly believe that we all should look for our security from God and rest in Him no matter the circumstance.

I’m also not fooling myself. It is a long road ahead of us and unreal to think that both Bonnie and I are going through this at the same time. Please pray that I can continue to minister and help Bonnie throughout my treatment. Our doctor (yes we are sharing the same doctor) thought it would be very feasible to help Bonnie. I may need to change to pace a little, but look for wisdom and God’s direction with that. It’s going to be a few weeks until the tests are complete and I can begin the treatment, but in the meantime the discomfort and pain have begun to escalate, so please pray that I can manage with the pain.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be going through this without the comfort and security Bonnie and I have from knowing Christ. This unbelievable situation reminds me of the cares and burdens we used to talk about with our kids when they were little and afraid of something as they were going to bed. It brings to mind one of the songs I used to sing to Cassandra when she was little as she was falling asleep. Following are the words of the hymn “May the Mind of Christ My Savior”:

May the mind of Christ my savior
Live in me from day to day
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say

May the word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power

May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea
Him exalting, self abasing
This is victory

May I run the race before me
Strong and brave to face the foe
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go

This last verse has to be the focus of our eyes for the road that is ahead of us. We are running a race that we didn’t choose to run, but we need to be strong and brave in Christ to face the enemy – cancer and Satan who would like nothing but to see us fail in glorifying God through how we handle ourselves with these challenges. As the verse concludes, the only way for us to accomplish is “looking only unto Jesus, as (we) onward go!

Thank you for your prayers!

2009-06-21T22:09:00.000-04:00

Sunday,

Another day of fatigue and diarrhea for Bonnie. We continue to remain hopeful for signs of neutrophils (the good white blood cells) to start producing. Our doctor stopped by today and said we will be amazed in Bonnie’s improvement once those WBCs start to grow. He is encouraged that there have been no blasts (leukemia cells) showing up in her daily labs. Today her hemoglobin was high enough to stave off any red blood transfusion, but her platelets were low again so another unit of platelets were transfused today. Please pray that the good white blood cells will start growing. Today’s labs showed a minimal count of .1 which is 100. Point 1 can be human error in counting as it was .1 a week ago and went back to zero for several days, so we don’t get too excited about this count. When we start to see .4 or .5 then I think she’ll be on her way.

The last two nights have been very tiring for both of us due to the renewed frequency in diarrhea which hits about every hour and a half. Our physician has been keeping an eye on Bonnie’s abdomen due to it protruding (Bonnie calls it her “Ethiopia” belly). In some respects it is protruding because of the lack of protein in her system, even though she has the IV food bag. He (our doctor) wanted to make sure she didn’t have some sort of infection settling into her intestinal tract so he changed up some of her antibiotics on Friday and one of the side effects is increased frequency in diarrhea. He thought her abdomen looked much better today, although he is holding off changing the antibiotic as of yet. Please pray for our weariness with respect to this. With risk of being graphic again, it is a two person job and typically takes between 10 to 15 minutes factoring the clean up time, which includes washing her legs and changing her hospital issued socks and sometimes the gown. She is so afraid to move for fear of triggering another bout because every time it takes its toll on Bonnie physically just to get up out of bed and make it to the bathroom.

Please continue to pray that Bonnie’s temperature would stay below 103 degrees (preferably under 99 degrees). Her heart has also been racing a little this afternoon at a rate exceeding 150 beats per minute, so the doctor on duty is being consulted.

If my calculations are correct, we have been here 40 days and 40 nights, the running total since our journey started on May 12th. When I think of 40 days and 40 nights I can’t help but think about the number of events in scripture that covered a 40 day and 40 night period so I went back and researched the various occasions this afternoon:

1) Genesis 7 is the account of Noah’s flood. It rained for 40 days/nights and the water also covered the earth for 40 days and Noah waited 40 days before opening the window of the ark. God chose to pour out His wrath on His creation because of the sin of the people, which started years earlier with sin entering the world through Adam. The result was death, sickness, illness, wars, and the list goes on and on. Adam’s sin does not make us exempt from the result of sin such as the disease and sickness Bonnie has succumb to. In this scripture account though, God showed mercy on His people and kept a faithful remnant alive as well as the land animals to restore His creation. God is also showing his mercy on Bonnie and will restore her with a glorified body (someday) because of her relationship with Christ. We pray that He will restore her physical body now, but are willing to subject ourselves to His will.

2) Exodus 24 & 34 is the account of Moses spending 40 days and nights with God on Mount Sinai. Because of this journey Bonnie and I are on, it has been incredible how close to God we have felt over these past 40 days and nights, like Moses must have felt on the Mount.

3) Numbers 13 & 14 is the account of the 12 spies who spied out the Promised Land over 40 days and returned with a report that created fear (all except Caleb and Joshua) with the people of Israel who didn’t put their trust in God and feared the unknown. We have ventured into an unknown land for the past 40 days and are uncertain where we are headed, but we do know that God is with us and He will protect us.

4) 1 Samuel 17 is the account of Goliath the Philistine coming forth to fight Israel for 40 days. There are times since our arrival here at Sparrow we feel what we are facing is insurmountable just like Israel must have felt against Goliath. However, we also know the outcome of God’s deliverance and believe God can deliver Bonnie from this illness.

5) 1 Kings 19 is the account of God providing Elijah enough food and water prior to a 40 day and night trip to the mount of God at Horeb. We know God thus far has provided us the spiritual and mental strength to endure the treatment Bonnie is going through for the past 40 days and nights.

6) Matthew 4, Mark 1 and Luke 4 provide the account of Jesus fasting for 40 days and 40 nights which ended with His successful defeat of Satan’s temptations. God sent His Son who lived a sinless life to satisfy God’s mandate of being holy without sin. Jesus’ fasting brought Him close in prayer to God and we know that He intervenes on our behalf when we pray to God, as we are unworthy to approach God directly because we have not lived a sinless life like Jesus. We can take comfort in knowing that Jesus is interceding on our behalf for all the prayers for Bonnie’s health.

7) Acts 1 is the account of Jesus appearing to many of the disciples for a 40 day period after His resurrection showing He is alive. The number of witnesses who saw the risen Jesus during this 40 day period resulted in the expansion of the Gospel message that if we put our faith and trust in Jesus believing He lived a sinless life, died and suffered the wrath of God for our sin, that He rose from the dead and ascended to heaven and is at the right hand of God interceding on our behalf we will have eternal life. It is that hope in which we hold onto as we have sat in this hospital room for the past 40 days.

We don’t know the outcome of what this earthly journey will bring, but we know the final outcome because of where we choose to put our faith. I (Steve) think the a good scriptural summarization for where we’re at as we face a new day and night comes from the book of Titus 2:11-14:

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.”

Please continue to pray for our endurance over the next 40 days and 40 nights. We appreciate each and every one of you.

2009-06-20T22:07:00.000-04:00

Saturday,

Today was more or less a quiet day for Bonnie. After a night that saw her fever stay below 103 degrees, we were thankful that she didn’t have to experience the cooling blanket last night. She still dealt with diarrhea and that kept her up quite a bit throughout the night. This morning she had a chance for hard sleep from 5:45 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. so that helped her to have energy to get suited up for the wheel chair ride out to her favorite spot in the atrium.

Her WBC are still zero, her platelets low (she received a transfusion today) and her hemoglobin remained steady. So she continues to be in status quo.

Last night Bonnie enjoyed the lighting and thunderstorm that moved through the Lansing area. She asked for the blinds to be opened so she could watch. Bonnie said that storms were always calming to her. It reminded her of the many times she sat in our living room when the kids were small explaining to them the power of God and how He uses lightening to put nitrogen into the earth which helps plants to grow. She would pray with the kids and thank God for his power and control in all things even the things that seemed scary He makes them useful for His good and we never need to be afraid.

We can take comfort in not being afraid of the things of God that are seen and unseen, yet we are to fear the Lord. It seems like a contradiction and somewhat difficult to explain. We can rest in what God has in store for us and trust Him, but He is a holy God who expects us to be holy. Psalm 111:10 captures this in a nutshell:

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all those who do his commandments; His praise endures forever.”

So if God expects us to be holy and we are incapable, where is the hope that we have talked about? This morning as I was reading from my Bible I had music playing and the first song on the list was “In Christ alone”. Following are the words of the first verse:

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Bonnie and I (and our family) are facing what we think to be the fiercest drought and storm of our lives, yet the love and peace of Christ stills our fears.

2009-06-19T23:41:00.000-04:00

Friday,

After another long night of a high fever and two plus hours lying on the 45 degree cooling blanket Bonnie had little opportunity for much needed sleep Thursday night. Today, each time she would start to look peaceful and begin to drift off into the sleep I was hopeful she would get, another doctor would knock on the door and wake her up to check her over.

I (Steve) work so hard to give her a quiet environment to easily sleep in and find myself getting frustrated with the timing of the doctors. Please pray that I have patience with the inconsistent schedule of the doctors as they make their rounds on the floor. Those of you who know me quite well know that I’m somewhat “routine” and would quickly add, “that’s an understatement!” Also, please continue to pray that the results of the biopsy I had done on my sacrum comes back benign.

Back to Bonnie. The WBC are still zero, the yeast infection appears more and more to be under control, the rash continues to expand and fill in, and the diarrhea frequency was once again very present this morning. Each day we look for something new to hang onto in order for Bonnie to find the “physical” strength to battle the weariness of fighting the frustrating unchanging status. It’s easy to set ourselves up for unmet expectations which then makes recalibrating our thoughts more challenging and difficult when those expectations don’t pan out. I recall when we were first admitted on May 12th that our team of doctors said “best” case scenario would be three weeks in the hospital. Bonnie erroneously latched onto the hope of three weeks which now has extended into no end in sight at the present time. Bonnie just wants to be at home (so do I).

Please pray that Bonnie will not be weary of fighting the battle. For any of us, waiting day after day for an answer to prayer and a clear direction on God’s plan for our life can be difficult in any situation. Waiting day after day for a clear direction on God’s plan for Bonnie’s life, factoring in all the fatigue and major health issues she is facing becomes wearying to her and puts her in a precarious position where she becomes most vulnerable in her spiritual strength. Thus far Bonnie has been a rock when it comes to trusting where God has her, yet as time passes by it is easy to be lulled into doubt, fear and lack of trust. Satan knows where Bonnie is vulnerable and will subtly attack that area of her life to cause her to stumble in the spiritual strength she has exhibited thus far. My prayer for Bonnie and I is found in 1 Peter 5:6-11:

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

Please pray that: (1) we will remain humble before God, (2) continue to pour out our anxious feelings to Him, (3) that He will put a shield around us from the devil who would like nothing more than to see us fail in our trusting God, (4) that God will show us how our suffering is minimal compared to the suffering of others and (5) that God will, in His timing, pour out His endless grace upon Bonnie and our family. Thank you for your faithfulness in praying for our family.

2009-06-18T23:06:00.000-04:00

Thursday,
Today we saw some glimmer of hope with Bonnie’s prognosis. Another day has gone by and no growth in the blood cultures looking for the yeast infection. It doesn’t mean Bonnie is out of harm’s way as of yet, but it certainly is major step in that direction. The physicians have seemed to find the right combination of antibiotics and antifungal medicines to protect Bonnie during this vulnerable period.

Another praise is the long intervals she is now experiencing between bouts with diarrhea. She had several four hour time segments where she was able to enjoy the peace of mind that she didn’t have to fear the quick awkward jaunt to the bathroom.

The rash continues to spread on her body. About the only area of her body not covered is her face and scalp. She says it doesn’t hurt or itch, but helping her with changing gowns and using the bathroom, I (Steve) am pretty much the only one who regularly sees a large portion of her body and it is painful for me to see it. Please pray that this will subside, not hurt nor itch.

I guess I should mention that I (Steve) had my biopsy this morning with results due next Monday or Tuesday, so please pray that the results are negative. I’m just a little sore from where they went in with the needle, but other than that it hasn’t limited my attention being focused on caring for Bonnie.

I coaxed Bonnie out of the room today in a wheelchair for about an hour so she could watch the activity on Michigan Avenue in front of Sparrow Hospital. Between this and having a couple of family members visit, she had a reprieve from the normal boredom. Even with the change in scenery and activity, she has minimal strength to keep her eyes open during conversations and I have to assist her sitting up and getting out of bed. Please pray for her to have strength and determination to force herself to get up and do some activity, even if it is minimal.

We continue to wait upon God’s timing to reintroduce white blood cells into her body, so for now we remain patient and content knowing that God’s character and nature are perfect and holy and He is incapable of making a single mistake, including the leukemia Bonnie is battling. Someone might say “How could a loving God allow something like this to happen to Bonnie?” or “Why do bad things happen to good people?” What makes us think we are entitled to a life free of adversity? Adversity builds character. The question is what kind of character does our adversity build? Is it a character that can rejoice in all circumstances or a character that creates resentment toward God and says “I don’t want anything to do with you? Character in some respects is the powertrain/engine of our lives. If you think about the powertrain of your vehicle, without it, it doesn’t run or if it is unserviced it risks failure at some point. Godly character is like a finely tuned powertrain that impacts every aspect of our life: Our obedience to God, how we treat others, what we do with the talent and resources God has blessed us with, and in our case, how much strength and power we draw from a God who has an endless supply of this as part of His character and nature. Adversity is good. It is a barometer of where we stand with God. I’m not saying we have arrived by any stretch of the imagination. We have our moments and our weaknesses each day as we wrestle with the challenges before us, but God has strengthened us beyond belief. Isaiah 40: 28-29 gives us a glimpse of God’s character:

“Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength. “

My mom (Steve) mentioned a verse to me today from Proverbs which also is a barometer of sorts to challenge each of us: Proverbs 24:10 says:

If you faint in the day of adversity,
your strength is small.

Call upon God for strength. Don’t wait for the day when adversity hits. The transition from smooth sailing to rough seas isn’t easy, but when it comes, and trust us, it will come, you will be prepared and ready to adjust and the boat might take on water and be tossed about, but it won’t capsize. Instead you will find your faith and trust in God, as it is tested, even stronger and more meaningful than you will ever imagine. That is the essence of what we experience daily – the joy of knowing God is at the helm.

2009-06-17T22:17:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

Another day in the life of our temporary home here at Sparrow Hospital. After a somewhat nerve wracking night where Bonnie’s fever climb to over 104 degrees (the highest since we have been here) amazingly God blessed us with a fair amount of sleep. Bonnie’s sleep as it turned out was a little cooler than mine thanks to a cooling blanket that was laid on her in an attempt to reduce her fever. This evening has been more of the same as her temperature climbed to over 102 degrees.

The nurses have been trying to get two units of blood in Bonnie tonight but because of the fever there were a couple hours of delay while every attempt was made to reduce her fever. It is amazing how quickly it can change. When I ran down to the cafeteria to pick up food to go, Bonnie’s fever was in the high 98 degrees. I came back 25 minutes later and it was 101.7 and climbing. For over four hours tonight she had the cooling blanket on her with only a thin sheet between her and that blanket which was set at 45 degrees. Needless to say she was miserable and the time couldn’t go any slower for her. Fortunately her fever dropped below the threshold so the nurses were able to complete the transfusions. Now we’re waiting for platelets, but watching to see if her temperature is stabilized.

Her WBC count is still at zero which means another day of waiting and another day of being susceptible to infection. We did receive some promising news from the Infectious Disease physicians however. It appears the yeast infection is not gaining ground as the cultures they took two days ago are still negative and show no signs of positive growth. They expect there will still be some growth in the culture, but the delay means fewer yeast and a better chance that it will subside.

I (Steve) have a biopsy of my Sacrum tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. to determine what the mass is that showed up on both the MRI and CT Scan. I keep reminding myself that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. It seems we are more frequently discussing this but at the same time reminding ourselves that God can use our situation in many ways. We have heard from so many that this blog has been an encouragement to others in their time of need. I find God’s timing interesting, as I have said before, God does not make mistakes. It isn’t a mistake that Bonnie is in the condition she is in and it isn’t a mistake that I may have some issues that will need to be dealt with in my sacral area. As I read every morning from Charles Stanley’s Daily Bible reading, I am amazed at the parallels of many of his commentaries to our situation. I have only shared a fraction of some of those comments and would like to share with you the following commentary Dr. Stanley had on a section of 2 Kings that I read today:

“Though there may be destruction and despair surrounding you, there is a foundation which stands as a mighty pillar that will never fall. It is God’s strength and your reliance upon God’s trustworthy character that will sustain you when everything else begins to crumble. When you trust in the faultless character of God and allow His Word to dwell in you richly, you will have a foundation established within you that will not be shaken. No matter what trial or opposition you face, the foundation of the Lord’s love and Word in your heart will endure He will help you. Make your heart tender, and humble yourself before the Lord, He will establish you, and by Him you will be mighty.”

Nothing can replace the infallible word of God for our source of strength and endurance; however God has given us timely comments from gifted people. It is no accident that he has used the knowledge of others to encourage and minister to us in this difficult time. Thank you for your continued prayers.

2009-06-16T21:48:00.000-04:00

Tuesday,

As the days and nights start to blend together (tonight will be our 36th night together here) it becomes a little fuzzy what has and hasn’t been shared in this blog. I (Steve) wished I had the energy and time to go back through and reread the daily blog posts to see what was and wasn’t shared, but for now that seems too daunting of a task to do, so I apologize if you find I’m repeating myself occasionally.

Today was a rather quiet restful day for Bonnie. At this point we are more or less in a holding pattern waiting for the white blood cells to start producing. Our physician has told us that it normally takes between 10 to 20 days after the conclusion of chemo to see the WBC start to produce in the bone marrow. It could be longer for Bonnie due to having two rounds of chemo. We are now on day 15 and still at zero WBC so Bonnie continues to be at “high risk” for infection. The yeast infection is still alive and well, but doesn’t seem to be gaining ground due to the antifungal medicine she is receiving. Once the WBC start to grow and reproduce they will fight the infection. This is the key and continued prayer request at this point. The remnants of the chemo have also caused a rash that is slowly consuming her entire body. Some areas are so intense and dense her skin is almost a maroon color. Other areas has the appearance of chicken pox. Some are raised and some smooth, yet thankfully none of them itch or are uncomfortable. The water sacks on her heels have popped (which is okay), although she needs to keep her feet protected at all times for risk of infection.

We are blessed to be surrounded by a talented team of doctors and nurses, including our lead oncologist/hematologist who came from Cleveland Clinic to Sparrow Hospital to help grow the oncology/hematology department. We are also very fortunate to have Bonnie’s brother who is a lead oncology surgeon at Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona providing us personal insight as well as communicating with our team here at Sparrow and with Mayo’s hematology group. So we believe Bonnie is getting the best possible care and treatment, but also recognize that no matter how good these individuals are, only God heals. God gives each of us gifts and we are grateful to Him for the skill and knowledge He has given our team of doctors and nurses. Please pray for Dr. Srkalovich and his team that God will provide wisdom and insight as they continue to care for Bonnie.

In addition to Bonnie’s physical health, here is another way to pray for her. As I (Steve) have attempted to communicate, Bonnie has been very strong emotionally; however the past few days have been a bit of a challenge for her from an anxiety aspect. Surrounded by the four same walls combined with the mundane daily activities of blood draws, diarrhea, doctors staring and analyzing, laying in bed, the beeping of the IV pumps, countless oral medicines, changing of IV bags, hourly vital signs, trying to eat the cold cardboard with jelly (otherwise a toasted English muffin) for breakfast and the tasteless concoction of chicken broth, with diced chicken breast with spaghetti for lunch are beginning to challenge her contentment.

I must admit that it is easy for discontentment to creep in even with me. I think it was yesterday that I mentioned it is so helpful to recall specific sections of God’s word to remind us of His unfailing love, even in times of fatigue, turmoil and despair. I think about the story of Nehemiah in the Bible and Nehemiah’s fatigue, turmoil, and despair he must have endured returning to Jerusalem and seeing the devastation that was brought on by God’s people forsaking God and following other false gods of the day. And now God was calling Nehemiah to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. Nehemiah’s opening line of his prayer to God acknowledging who God is, helps remind me of God’s sovereignty over everything and allows me to regain that inner strength to forge ahead each day knowing it is another day in our case of not rebuilding a wall, but the rebuilding of Bonnie’s bone marrow and blood cells. Nehemiah 9:6:

“You are the LORD, you alone. You have made heaven, the heaven of heavens, with all their host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them; and you preserve all of them; and the host of heaven worships you.”

Even though we are just a blip in the big picture of God’s creation, He knows us because He made each of us and we were made to worship Him, and Him alone in everything we do. So, please pray that as we continue to reside in this hospital room with the ongoing mundane activity and distractions, that our eyes will remain fixed upon worshipping God just as “the host of heaven worships Him”.

2009-06-15T22:21:00.000-04:00

Monday,

Today was pretty much status quo with Bonnie. Her platelets and hemoglobin were low so she got a unit of platelets and the first of two units of red blood cells (we’re waiting for the second). Her temperature was fairly stable today ranging from the low 98s to the high 99s, which is a blessing. She normally spikes a fever into the evening hours and thus far she has kept it at bay.

One praise and one frustration took place respectively today/tonight. I’ll start with the praise.

As we have posted previously, Bonnie had the triple lumen port removed from her chest several days ago as it had been identified as a source of the yeast infection that she has in her blood. The peripheral IVs inserted into veins in Bonnie’s arms were handling the flow of fluids (antibiotics, antifungal, food nutrients, etc.) but the ongoing concern has been how long before the vein would “blow” and not be useable. Yesterday an IV technician said a few things to Bonnie about not having any more real options and this created a great deal of anxiety that has persisted for over 30 hours. Bonnie has been fearful that one of these would become useless in the middle of the night and every doctor coming to check on her always seems to look at the condition of the IVs. We have been told by the Infectious Disease physicians that she could not have another triple lumen port due to the yeast infection, unless there were no other options. This afternoon Bonnie’s main doctor assessed everything regarding this and gave the order for a new triple lumen which was a great relief for Bonnie. She is resting peacefully now knowing that there shouldn’t be any surprises related to the IV during the middle of the night. This was a huge praise and you could see the concern lifted from Bonnie’s countenance (even under sedation!).

The frustration today was Bonnie’s inability to read the words in her Bible. She easily could read the Bible verses on all her cards, the daily devotional books and the encouraging notes she receives, however the size of the type in her Bible was too small requiring a stronger pair of reading glasses. I scoured Sparrow’s pharmacy for a stronger lens, but finally found what she needed at Rite Aide.

It is so great to have God’s word available to us. When Bonnie was discouraged about not being able to read the words in her Bible, I tried to encourage her that for the time being she had all the wonderful note cards with God’s word written on it that she could find strength, comfort and joy in the interim. I told her that we are so incredibly fortunate as a country to have God’s written word so readily available to us and know that we are not going to be persecuted, jailed or even martyred for having a copy. The shame is, even with this freedom, we don’t spend the time in it like we should. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our everyday activities we have a tendency to put it on the shelf and only pull it off when we experience times of trouble.

If we expect to have a relationship with another individual the only way it will flourish is working on that relationship and understanding one another. The same goes for our relationship with God. The only way to begin to understand God is spending time regularly in His word. Many of you have been amazed at the incredible emotional and spiritual strength Bonnie has exhibited through this extremely challenging experience that has all but wiped her out physically, but not mentally. It is her relationship with God that sustains her. I can testify that she hasn’t kept her relationship with God in a box only to pull Him out along with the comforting verses from His word during times of turmoil and trouble. Her relationship has flourished because she spends time with God in His word regularly. These verses have deep meaning because she trusts God with her life. Does she have her ups and downs? Yes, but the “downs’ are quickly neutralized by the scripture she knows and keeps close to her heart day after day, year after year. She believes (as I do) that God has a greater purpose than this issue we are facing. God is good and He is right. He doesn’t make mistakes. So there is no mistake that we are staying in this hospital room for a reason yet to be seen. One verse that I have memorized in the past is from Joshua 1:8 and a fitting way to summarize the importance of immersing ourselves in God’s word to prepare for trials that we don’t plan for:

“This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.”

“Good success” is glorifying God in everything we do no matter the circumstances we are facing.

2009-06-14T23:12:00.000-04:00

Sunday,

Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend where to even start with an update on Bonnie’s condition. In one hour there is a praise for us to hold onto giving a source of encouragement and energy, yet the next hour brings a new challenge you don’t expect and it is difficult not to allow doubt to creep into your might wondering what God has in store. Today was one of those days.

This morning Bonnie had the privilege to be prayed over and her fever subsided without Tylenol from 102 degrees down to 98.7 degrees. Tonight her fever is back up at 101.4 degrees which triggered another chest xray and blood culture. As long as she has a yeast infection, she is going to continue to have swings like this. The blood cultures continue to confirm that the yeast is still running havoc in Bonnie’s body. The Infectious Disease physicians are running one last antifungal medicine and then there isn’t anything else they can do until Bonnie’s White Blood Cells start to produce.

Bottom line, we have two main prayer requests: (1) Pray that the yeast infection would disappear and (2) that the White Blood Cell count would start to show progress. The doctors have doubled the amount of Neupogen injections to promote the growth, but thus far she is still at zero as of the lab reports from earlier today.
One other concern is the peripheral IVs Bonnie temporarily has as a result of the removal of the triple lumen, which they believe was the source for the yeast infection. The IV specialists are having a difficult time finding good veins to insert the peripheral IVs and the fear is that her veins can’t handle the volume of fluids being pumped through her. Please pray these will last until we can get approval from all the doctors to do another triple lumen. They normally will not do a new one until they yeast infection has been eliminated. The whole ordeal is more or less a “Catch 22”.

A few of you have asked about my (Steve) situation with my back. Supposedly I have some sort of growth on my sacrum area that both an MRI and CT Scan has revealed. I will find out more tomorrow about the biopsy and when it is scheduled. Please pray that it is nothing and benign. We thought God has really been giving us an opportunity to put our faith to the test, which He has, but obviously we needed more refining. I mentioned to a couple of people today that when we said God won’t give us more than we can handle, I (Steve) sort of thought that maybe we had a saucer size plate that He would fill, but didn’t realize He blessed us with the main platter.

God ha s truly blessed us far beyond our ability to communicate in words the emotional intimacy that has been formed in this hospital room between God and the two of us. Something I (Steve) have yet to share thus far is a pray that I prayed back in February and March of this year. As many of you know, with homeschooling, May is one of the busiest month of the year and nothing is ever planned during this month as school is wrapping up and we have two of our kids birthdays that month. To compound things this year was having a graduate and all the extra activities that coincide with this phase in the life of a graduate. Earlier this year Bonnie had volunteered to handle ticket sales for a drama production that Cassandra was involved with. When Bonnie signed up in the fall to do tickets, little did she know the huge time commitment that would be required starting in February running through the play in April.

Needless to say, we were like two ships passing in the night and not having much in the way of quality time together. I found myself praying and asking God to give Bonnie and I quality time without interruption of the cares of the day and to give us the chance to spend together alone. It didn’t hit me until we had been here at Sparrow Hospital for about two weeks that I thought to myself, God answered my prayer. Not the way I wanted it answered though. Isn’t it interesting the amount of time we now have together alone each day and night in this hospital room. The opportunity to serve and care for Bonnie through very mundane things has created a level of intimacy between us that is absolutely incredible and indescribable. God is faithful to help us recall His promise of answered prayer, even in times when it appears He is distant. He isn’t distant, He is omnipresent and that is the comfort we hold onto day and night as he takes us on this journey. This morning I (Steve) read Psalms 73:23-26 which summarizes pretty good His closeness:

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
you hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Please keep up the prayers. They are what continue to sustain us. Thank you!

2009-06-13T20:53:00.000-04:00

Saturday,

This is Cassandra, writing on behalf of my dad who, for a brief time this afternoon, occupied ER room #23 here at Sparrow. The back pain that he has been experiencing recently has been caused by a possible small mass (which the doctor referred to as an “abnormal growth”) on his tailbone that an MRI identified yesterday and was confirmed by a CT Scan today. The doctors have asked him to call them on Monday because they would like to schedule a biopsy of the tailbone to figure out what this is.

As for mom, she is hanging in there. She continues to smile every time us kids come to visit her and maintains her wonderful, cheerful, encouraging disposition. Her blood tests continue to come back positive for a yeast infection. We are choosing to believe that the new antibiotics that they are trying will be successful in killing this infection that is now running through her whole body. Also, the rash, which they have determined was caused by drugs and low platelets, is also still spreading. We know that our God is a God of miracles. He is fully capable of healing both Mom and Dad.

A verse I have been thinking about for a while now is 1 Peter 4:12-13.

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

So often, I have the opportunity to talk to people about mom and what our family is going through. One thing many people have said to me is, “I just don’t understand why this is happening to your mom. I don’t know why it had to be HER.” The question that always runs through my head after that is, “why do you think that?” No one is exempt from something like this happening to them. Look at what Christ suffered for us! This is nothing in comparison. This verse has been a reminder to me that we live in a fallen world. We should expect that we are going to go through tough times. But even though it may be hard, God is the one who will help us through. He will never leave us. He will never forsake us. He will always be there.

Please continue to pray:

- That the yeast infection will go away completely. Mom has spiked a fever of 102.7 degrees late this afternoon, the highest she has had since she has been in the hospital. The Infectious Disease doctor expressed a concern of the yeast accumulating around the heart and in the lungs. They are trying a different anti-fungal (and last) option that will hopefully kill the yeast infection.
- That Mom’s white blood cell count would go up quickly, on its own. We cannot proceed with the bone marrow biopsy until it reaches the normal 10,000 count.
- That the biopsy on Dad’s tailbone would go well and that the results would be good.
- That we all would continue to place our trust in our mighty God and realize He is in complete control of this situation.

I also want to just say thank you to all of you who have made our family meals, sent my mom cards, or even just said that you are praying for us. The love and support that is surrounding us is overwhelming and so encouraging. The cards are starting to overtake the hospital room, to our great delight. Each and every Bible verse, inspirational quote, or word of encouragement is something that Mom looks forward to reading every day. We eagerly anticipate reading the new cards aloud, and then adding them to the walls and see how much they are filling up with your words of love. Thank you so much.

Today my friend Colleen and I were coming to the hospital to visit mom after an open house. We were driving into the parking ramp, discussing how many times I have been here in the past month and wondering what you have to do to achieve the “most frequent visitor” status here at Sparrow. We also pondered why the money-taking attendant is always so crabby and how fast you can possibly go over the speed bumps in the ramp. As we passed through floors one and two, we decided to go up to the top for a change of scenery. Coming out into the light on the sixth floor, it was as if a whole new world was opened up. Looking over the edge of the parking garage, the view of the Capitol building was breathtaking. At that moment, we realized that little everyday pleasures are passed up so often because of the busyness of life. I encourage you today to stop and take a second to look around and appreciate the blessings that God has placed in your life; stop and look at His mighty hand that is at work in all the little things.

2009-06-12T23:56:00.000-04:00

Friday,

To use a sailing analogy, spiritual strength is like a rudder that steers the course of the Christian’s life. Certainly there are a lot of other important aspects of one’s life, such as the moral compass to provide direction and a keel or centerboard to keep it upright.

But, spiritual strength is the character quality we are praying and striving for as we endure another day of unknowns and uncertainties with Bonnie’s disease. The rudder of Christ helps us to navigate the uncharted waters and guides us into the safe harbor.

It isn’t easy and the turbulent waves on occasion cast doubt in both of our minds, but with your notes of encouragement and prayers it opens our blinded eyes to see Jesus is in control of the situation. If He can control the actual raging sea as he drifted along in the boat with the disciples, he certainly can calm the winds of anxiousness and discouragement that Satan would love see set it. The evil one is just looking for the appropriate time where we are most vulnerable because that is where he likes to deceptively attack. Genesis 4:7 says:

"If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”

Please pray that we “do well” to recognize that sin isn’t crouching at the door as long as we have so many praying for us.

And 1 Peter 5: 6 -10 says;

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

This verse sums up all aspects of the situation we are enduring with Bonnie’s leukemia and pending bone marrow transplant. We are humbling ourselves to him and cast all our anxiaeties on him In our situation it would be so easy to be devoured by our adversary and it is the spiritual strength and that rudder that steers us through the dangerous and uncharted waters.

We started the blog tonight with what we are clinging to as we continue to feel as if we are floating on a raft in the pacific ocean with no land in site, shark infested waters and a storm on the horizon. It may not be as bad as we’re making it sound, but today felt more on the ledger side of discouragement.

First of all, tonight we got word that the two blood cultures they were growing came back positive still for the yeast infection, which is not what we were expecting with the encouraging words we had received earlier today from the Infectious Disease physicians. Secondly Bonnie has developed a rash pretty much all over her body (mostly torso), be we are thankful it not uncomfortable and something she can endure.

One minute we believe we have cleared the hurdle and have conquered the milestone that the diarrhea has ceased and that we can find more freedom walking the halls and moving about. Today was a set back and very discouraging to Bonnie as she had thought she had cleared the corner on the intestinal issue. In fact it appears that my calculation on the number of “Depends” we used today equaled what we used at the height of the most critical time. Please pray the doctors will effectively collaborate on this topic and come to a reasonable solution to treat it.

In order for Bonnie to maintain a confidence in that boat with the strong spiritual “rudder” we spend a great deal of time in prayer and she surrounds herself with scripture and commentary that boost her encouragement. Everyday the number goes up, but she must have over fifty encouraging words of scripture she reads more than once a day. Secondly she has a number of commentary and books she use as strength and encouragement:

She started the day with Psalms 112:7:

He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm, trusting in the LORD.

All in all, she reads 50+ bible verses each day
She has been fortunate to be provided with several devotionals and reads from them each day:

31 Days of Praise, Praying the Names of God, Praying through Cancer, Safe in the Shepherds arms, Keep a Quiet Heart, Calm my anxious heart , and a Deeper Kind of Calm.

Calm in the storm is key. Please continue to pray this for us.
Thank you!

2009-06-11T21:45:00.000-04:00

Thursday,

Two steps forward one step backwards seems to be the pace for Bonnie these past few days.

One of the “steps” forward was a milestone Bonnie achieved since the commencement of the intestinal issues which started over two weeks ago. She was able to stay stationary in bed from 12:30 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. this morning without getting up to run to the bathroom. This was a huge step in aiding Bonnie with more energy today. Our night nurse still had to come in almost every hour to change an antibiotic IV drip or other drip which woke Bonnie up, but she was able to roll over and go right back to sleep. The doctor continues to approve Bonnie to add more options to her diet in addition to clear liquids. Tonight she mixed in a chicken breast and spaghetti noodles into her chicken broth and finished it off with an orange popsicle. The additions thus far don’t appear to have a negative impact on Bonnie’s GI tract, which is an answer to prayer. The continued prayer is to have Bonnie intake enough natural nutrients through regular eating that the food bag on the IV tower can be eliminated.

The other “step” forward was the update we received from the Infectious Disease physicians that the most recent blood cultures came back negative. They are watching to see if there is any positive growth in that culture tomorrow plus in any new blood draw. The feeling is that this infection has been contained based on these results.

The one “step” backward is she started to have blood again in her stools which caused the doctors to order more platelet transfusions as well as red blood cell transfusions to boost her hemoglobin. Bonnie’s White Blood Cell count is still at zero, so she continues to be very susceptible to infection and on constant watch. Please pray that we will begin to see her key blood components begin to stabilize and renew on their own.

One other recent development that has been on the watch list for Bonnie is the reaction her feet and hands have had to the chemo. For the past few weeks Bonnie’s hands have been very sore, stiff, calloused and red as have her heels and the balls of her feet. On Tuesday this week, Bonnie’s hands started to shed skin, almost in a reptile type way and now has new beautiful soft skin underneath that is not painful. Her heels though, are not at the point where her hands are and are very sore. The entire heel area has a large water sack underneath this thick dry skin that has yet to erupt. The doctors want her to try to stay off her feet as much as possible so that these sacks don’t burst which could lead to infection. This is a source of discouragement to Bonnie because now that she has regained her strength and has courage to venture away from the room to walk her laps, she is now relegated to staying off her feet and doing isometric exercises in bed as an alternative. Pray that the water will dry up and the pain will subside enabling her to do her walking in the near future, possibly with a temporary cushioned insole in her shoe.

We have been asked a few times if we know when the next biopsy will occur. It is our understanding that once her WBC count is normal, around 10,000, then the biopsy will be completed with the hope that the remaining blasts in her bone marrow are 4% or less, which is considered remission. Assuming that is the case, we will then need to select the right clinic that will do the bone marrow transplant. Please pray for wisdom in where we have this done. There are really only three options in Michigan, two in Detroit and one in Ann Arbor. Once we start down the path of a transplant, it will be a very long process, which puts our current month long stay at Sparrow in perspective.

Overall, pray Bonnie will continue to be encouraged in the midst of these mini-trials and will maintain seeing the goodness of God in everything, including the many little quirks that pop up at the most inconvenient times, such as a weird rash in the middle of the night or a fever that spikes or the liver test they will do tomorrow morning. All these little things that pop up can be unsettling and we have to constantly remind ourselves that God knows about these little issues as intimately as He does about the leukemia in general. As God’s word says, he has numbered every hair on our head, so it is a comfort to know He values everything about us, as His creation. Psalm 72:12-14 is a good place to stop for tonight:

For He delivers the needy when He calls,
the poor and him who has no helper.
He has pity on the weak and the needy,
and saves the lives of the needy.
From oppression and violence He redeems their life,
and precious is their blood in His sight.

Bonnie’s blood and the trial we are enduring because of it, is precious in God’s sight. What could be a greater comfort than knowing this!

2009-06-10T22:48:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

After what has seemed like days of updating this blog with difficult reports on Bonnie’s physical situation and complex explanations of her medical condition, today’s post is a little more upbeat and certainly less technical. It started with one of the best night of sleep since her intestinal issues commenced. We may have mentioned previously that her favorite sleeping position is on her side and that this option has been severely hampered due to it triggering frequent trips to the bathroom throughout the night. She has been relegated to sleeping on her back to extend the duration of sleep between interruptions due to IV changes and blood draws. Lately we have been getting 45 minute to 1 hour and 30 minute intervals of sleep. Last night she had two 3 hour intervals sleeping on her side last night which recharged her energy level which was very apparent throughout the balance of today.

Starting off the day with the rest she got, Bonnie was able to get a few laps in around the floor (we’ll come back to this), a visit outdoors on the patio along with a card game of rummy. She must not be feeling that well, because this is one of the first times I (Steve) beat her at the game. Most importantly she was able to sit on the couch for over two hours getting spiritually recharged by reading her Bible verses and other daily devotionals. If you wonder where she draws her spiritual and emotional stamina from it’s that, God’s word. We have always made God’s written word a priority in our life, but sometimes it’s as if our ship of life is cruising along and we take for granted that we have the security of the big anchor of God’s word drawn up ready to use on those occasions when we need to slow down our speed or steady the course. Not that the squall has arrived, there is such peace and comfort knowing that the anchor of God’s word is what is sustaining us and keeping us from being tossed about. We have security in Christ who is our anchor and know that no one can cut that line and that he will never leave us nor forsake us as long as we have put our faith and trust in Him. What more could we want or need as we face Bonnie’s cancer and pending bone marrow transplant with Him at the helm as well as the anchor.

Here are some specific prayer requests for the faithful prayer warriors out there:

1)Because the triple lumen had to be removed from a main vein due to it being the possible source of an infection, please pray that god will protect the peripheral veins in her arm from blowing out due to the quantity of antibiotics, antifungal and antiviral, plus minor nutrition bag all being pushed through it.

2)Pray that the yeast infection will be identified and eliminated.

3)Continue to pray that the interval between diarrhea will be minimized

4)Pray for wise choices as it relates to selecting the best possible institution for a bone marrow transplant. Michigan has three locations and one of the three has the designation as a “Center for Excellence” which sounds like it would be the best.

5)Continued prayer for our children Cassandra, Caleb and Callie (18,16 & 14) that God would reveal Himself to them in His word and that this drama would draw them closer to God and each other.

6)One side effect of the chemo (at least in Bonnie’s case) was an odd reaction to both her hands and feet. For several days she experienced an awful redness on her palms and fingers, as well as the sole of her feet. Both were sore, but now her hands are shedding and incredible thickness of skin revealing soft new skin below that is not painful (just soft – with the exception of the dry portion peeling off that would give one the appearance that she has some reptile tendencies.) On the other hand her heels are very sore and have fluid underneath what appears to be large callous. They are painful to walk on and the doctors want to avoid breaking the water if at all possible. The dilemma is that this limits the amount of walking she can do, but they discussed today about providing her with a special boot to help her cope in the interim.

It is so exciting to see God’s hand in this situation and we know that he has a greater purpose that we can’t see, but we do know that we belong to Him and He will never allow us to be snatched from his hand regardless of the magnitude of the trial.
Thank you for all your support. We will need it as we have roughly sketched in what a possible calendar will look like for the long term treatment and transplant. Continue to pray for endurance and lack of discouragement, as well as financial resources. Thank you for the many of you who have sent cards and notes. The nursing staff is blown away by the number of cards with encouraging words that we have tapped up on the wall as part of the many decorations.

God Bless!

2009-06-09T22:10:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, (one month ago Bonnie was admitted)

After a very long night comprised of small segments of sleep and many interruptions, Bonnie had a good day today physically. She was able to drink clear liquids after a couple of days of nothing other than chewing ice. It’s amazing how such a small thing like chicken broth becomes a great treat or a hot blanket brings more than just warmth. It’s the releasing of an inner joy that can only be tapped into when you are truly trusting God with the situation at hand and can honestly say He is in control. Bonnie has that joy and it can be seen escaping from her eyes and when she smiles as I wrap her with the hottest blanket I can get from one of the nurses.

Even with the never ending saga of the intestinal issues, Bonnie found enough courage to venture away from her (our) room for 11 laps around the floor and two sitting sessions in her sanctuary by the atrium. Cassandra spent some time with Bonnie today and they played a game of backgammon and then they both took a nap. She had been concerned that she would not have any energy today to do anything as a result of the elimination of the nutrition IV bag last night. The energy level today was an answer to prayer and a time to rejoice.

I (Steve) had a doctor’s appointment this afternoon regarding what I now know is a bulging disc in my lower back and why my left leg is numb throughout the day. My doctor has requested an MRI as well as physical therapy to start immediately. We’ve said it a few times in previous posts, it is so exciting to see God’s hand at work in the midst of the storm. The MRI and physical therapy that I (Steve) need, are being scheduled right here at Sparrow so I don’t even need to leave the campus. We make quite a pair!

We would like to conclude tonight with something I (Steve) read this morning from Dr. Charles Stanley’s Daily Bible reading. The title of the commentary was Trusting God Means Looking Beyond What We Can See to What God Sees. Following is an excerpt of what I think captures in a nutshell how we are suppose to respond to challenges and struggles we face:

In times of extreme pressure, God stretches our faith and deepens our dependence on Him. Without a strong, abiding faith, we can quickly yield to temptation and fear, especially when the trial or difficulty is intense or prolonged. God loves you, and when you place your trust in Him, He will not allow you to suffer defeat. You may go through times of failure. Life may not always turn out the way you planned – but ultimately, God will be glorified, and you will be blessed. Every challenge presents an opportunity for God to display His faithfulness and love. Instead of yielding to thoughts of fear and failure, make a commitment to trust God, even when you do not know what the next day will bring. Train yourself to look beyond what you can see to what God sees.

In essence, we are working through our challenge and looking for opportunities hour to hour, day to day and week to week. We are continually experiencing God’s faithfulness and love and it is only by the hundreds of prayers that are being lifted up on our behalf. We are so humbled by the outpouring of love from the body of Christ. We are continually reminded of this as we see the hundreds of cards and notes that are taped up on the wall of the normally stark plain hospital room. We are truly blessed to be part of this “body” and look forward to that day when we will meet some of you we have never met previously – when our joy has been completed and made full and we stand in the glory of the Lord.

2009-06-08T20:53:00.000-04:00

Monday,

Each day seems to bring a new twist to Bonnie’s ongoing battle with Leukemia. Today we received additional information on her overall treatment as well as a temporary change in course of action. First of all, as you can imagine, the amount of information and medical terminology that has been flying at us over the past four weeks has been overwhelming. It’s as if we have been trying to put together a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle without the picture on the box as well as important pieces that are missing.

Today we found a critical piece of the puzzle that has been there all along, but just didn’t see it in the midst of the pile of pieces. We have been looking at various scenarios of “what ifs” depending on the outcome of the “next step”. What we thought was a bridge we may have to cross some day if the steps in between didn’t pan out, in reality is one that we will most likely cross in the near future – a bone marrow transplant. Somehow we misunderstood the overall diagnosis, thinking that a transplant would only come into play if the standard treatment we were following didn’t address the Leukemia. It really wasn’t a matter of “if” it is a matter of “when” the transplant will occur.

What we learned today is that Bonnie will have dormant leukemia cells that someday will rear their ugly heads and resurface. This could be in 4 months or 10 years, we just don’t know when it will occur. We do know though, it will occur and when it does, Bonnie would have to go through the entire chemo ordeal she is going through now before the transplant could take place. The other school of thought is to do it now once she is in this initial remission due to Bonnie being young. It hasn’t been totally determined as of yet, but the consensus seems to be do it now. Another reason to do it now is some of the follow up results of the cytogenetics studies that take a long time. One of the results of the cytogetnetics indicates that Bonnie would be more of a “4” on a 1 to 10 scale for good diagnosis, with 10 being the best and 1 being the worst. So this would be another reason to do the transplant now as opposed to waiting.

To complicate matters, Bonnie has a yeast infection in her blood and a possible infection in her colon. As we have previously mentioned, she has no immune system to fight these infections so the “Infectious Disease” team of physicians have been added to her case. They are aggressively going after these infections to contain them by tweaking and modifying the various antibiotics, antifungul and antiviral medications being run through Bonnie’s IVs. These infections were also the reason for the postponement of the bone marrow biopsy. As we mentioned yesterday they started to give Bonnie injections of Neupogen to promote the growth of white blood cells to help fight these infections. At this point the biopsy won’t occur until her WBC levels are at a normal range of 10,000 and we have been told that at this point the results will be skewed because of the introduction of the Neupogen.

One potential source of the infection is the triple lumen IV port that was surgically inserted into Bonnie the day after admission. This port is very convenient because of three picks for all the IV drips as well as blood draws for labs, as opposed to Bonnie always being poked for draws. Unfortunately they are going to remove this tonight and go back to a more typical peripheral IV pick on her hand or arm, which means they can’t use the food bag IV as the veins are smaller and difficult to push the nutrient fluid through them. We will find out on Tuesday if they will have her start eating again or use a less potent nutrient bag.

We realize this is probably more detailed than most of you reading this would want, but it is very difficult to summarize this in a few words which would create additional questions in your minds. Hopefully this will help you to understand what we mean by putting together a jigsaw puzzle without the picture and with pieces missing.

With all that said, we are still taking it one day at a time which helps us to manage the waves of information and change as they roll in. A dear friend gave Bonnie a wonderful 90 day devotional called Praying Through Cancer. Today’s title was “Firmly Held”. The writer shares a memory as a little girl wading out into the ocean with her father who held her hand firmly as the waves rolled in. She recalled that on occasion a wave would break over her head sweeping her off her feet, but her father would never let go of his grip on her. God doesn’t let go of His grip on us either. Isaiah 41:13 says:

For I, the LORD your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”

This verse and the commentary was a perfect word picture for Bonnie to dwell on throughout the day and helped her immensely to further know that her heavenly Father is there holding her hand as we continue to wrestle with the ebb and flow of her disease.

We appreciate each of you sustaining us through your prayers as we continue to trust God and His grip.

2009-06-07T22:35:00.000-04:00

Sunday,

Today, God showed Bonnie some small amounts of compassion which were a cause for praise. For the past 24 hours, Bonnie has been restricted to no fluid/food intake. She could chew ice, but not swallow the melted liquid. With a dry mouth and throat to begin with, this was an uncomfortable nuisance in the big picture, yet a level of comfort Bonnie didn’t have. Today the doctors approved her to chew ice and swallow which gave her great relief. She was also given the confidence to get out of bed and walk laps (11 of them) around the floor and sit out in the elevator atrium without fear of having to stay close to the bathroom. This was huge as she needs to use her muscles after being in bed since Monday afternoon.

Bonnie continues to deal with the intestinal issues, however it seems to be slightly more manageable. The bone marrow biopsy scheduled for tomorrow (Monday) at 8:30 has been postponed. Bonnie is so vulnerable right now without any white blood cells for such a long period of time, there is a rising concern about infection so they have started injections of Neupogen prior to the biopsy because the blood has been clear of blasts (leukemia) cells for quite some time. The doctors want to jump start the growth of good WBC. Please pray that this will be the result.

The CT Scan of Bonnie’s chest is normal, however the intestinal area does show the lining wall of the small and large intestines thickening. The doctors have told us that this in part is due to all the activity being pushed through them as part of the side effects of the chemo. Please pray that the lining will thin so the normal bowel process will occur as opposed to it being sluggish and unresponsive.

Every day brings new challenges, however it is a comfort in knowing that God is compassionate. It pleases God to show compassion to His people both in small and large ways. All through scripture we see God’s hand of compassion present in the redemption of His people. In Jonah 4:6 He gave the prophet Jonah relief from the heat by causing a plant to grow and provide shade. In 1 Kings 19 He showed Elijah compassion by providing him with cake and water before a long journey. God’s greatest compassion was giving us a way to reconcile our sinful nature with God’s perfect holy nature through the sacrifice of His son Jesus who met the requirement on our behalf of living a perfect holy life. All we have to do is put our faith and trust in Him for the security of spending eternity with Him. That is compassion, because we don’t deserve it and we can’t earn it, it is God’s greatest gift. This is the source of the great peace that we are experiencing through this incredible trial we are enduring. Knowing Christ, is knowing peace.

As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.
Psalm 103:13

God Bless.

2009-06-06T21:35:00.000-04:00

Saturday,

Today was a day that had more questions than answers for dealing with various side effects of the chemo Bonnie’s body continues to endure. Today really started last night and was filled with hourly activity which meant no sleep for Bonnie, unless you count 45 minute stretches without interruption, sleep. In addition to the 3 transfusions of platelets she received between 9:00 and midnight, she continued to have severe intestinal issues with bleeding, so the doctor ordered a transfusion for red blood cells which came at 4:00. In between Bonnie spiked a fever that exceeded the benchmark level which triggered an automatic chest, kidney and intestinal xray, plus blood draws off her pick line as well as direct blood draws (from a needle poke in an arm vein). Because of the transfusions, the nursing staff is required to take vitals every hour on the hour. Needless to say, Bonnie napped most of the day….something I probably should have done as well.

As troubleshooting continues on the intestinal part, we found that when Bonnie lays on her side (her favorite sleeping position) it triggers everything moving through her system quickly. If she lays on her back (in the position she has trouble sleeping in) she can go extended periods of time without having these severe bouts. We asked the doctor about why this would occur. As she examined the xray as well as Bonnie’s stomach area they starting thinking she may have a contracting bowel issue in the large intestine. Our large intestines typically contract and expand to push waste through and the school of thought is that when Bonnie is lying on her back the natural expanding and contracting ceases and once she rolls to the side it expands and thus everything runs through her quickly.

Because of this issue, the doctors ordered a CAT scan (which finally occurred this evening) of her intestinal area and have put her on a zero food/fluid intake to give her intestinal system a break. So all her nutrition is coming from IVs at this point. Unfortunately she can’t even chew and swallow ice which is a discouragement to Bonnie due to her dry mouth and throat. Also there can be no internal scopes performed on her because of not having any White Blood Cells (WBC).

Another thing we are watching is her hands. Her palms and fingers are dark red and blotchy and we’re trying to determine if this is being caused by the various hand wipes, foams and lotions we all are required to use. The thought is that maybe some of the chemicals are too harsh for Bonnie’s skin to handle because of the low platelets and zero WBC. Or is it a reaction to one of the antibiotics or something else she is receiving.

For tonight and tomorrow, please pray specifically for the following:
1) That her bowel will start to function again with normal contractions and expansions (assuming we have the correct diagnosis)
2) That she will be able to find enough moisture from chewing the ice and spitting it out to give her dry mouth relief
3) That her hands won’t dry out and crack putting her at risk of infection
4) That the internal bleeding will stop
5) That her blood and key nutrients will begin to increase on its own without supplements to an acceptable standard level

With all this, Bonnie still has her smile which radiates a warmth. Even though she physically is not the same on the outside or on the inside due to the treatment of this disease, her spirit is unchanging. Sure there are times she is discouraged and I assure her it is okay to be discouraged. As we talk through it though, she asks me to read her Bible verses and a glow of peace comes across her face. One of her 3 x 5 note cards has Philippians 4:7:

“And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your mind in Christ Jesus.”

Her comment she wrote to accompany this verse is:

“If we make the choice to pray instead of worry we will experience God’s peace”

Bonnie’s statement sounds easy, but every hour with this battle brings a new twist, a new prognosis and “worry” finds a way to slowly drift in like a low lingering fog. If we don’t use the power of prayer, that fog will sock in so thick we will be subjecting ourselves to feeling a false sense of aloneness and abandonment and a loss of focus or vision, which should be on Jesus. Prayer unleashes God’s abundant peace such that we cannot begin to understand and it is that peace which dissipates the fog of “worry” that deceptively wants slowly creep in distracting us from our relationship with God. Please pray that the winds of God’s peace will keep clear the fog of Satan’s worry as we strive to endure in the battle.

We are so encouraged by all the notes and cards that let us know you are praying.

Thank you so much.

2009-06-05T22:33:00.000-04:00

Friday,

Today was another day of watching and analyzing Bonnie’s status as it relates to her overall response to the chemo. The frequency of the intestinal issues has decreased, but still comes on without much notice, so that continues to be somewhat unnerving for Bonnie and limits her confidence of straying too far from the room. She really doesn’t have the energy to do much anyway. We did get her bathed and changed today and her feet washed. This may sound like a fairly simple process, but it is very hard for her to sit on the edge of the bed for an extended period of time without getting overly fatigued as well as chilled. Once she lies back down in bed shivering, the thing that brings her the most physical comfort is the hot blanket I get from the warmer to wrap her in.

The key aspects of her blood labs that we track continue to make much headway. Obviously the White Blood Cell count will continue to be 0 until such time that the chemo has worked its way out of her body. Her platelets and hemoglobin continue to drop requiring additional transfusions. By the end of tonight she will have had three transfusions of platelets today. We are waiting for the last two (currently 9:00). Tomorrow morning she will be given Red Blood Cell transfusions to boost her hemoglobin. Please pray specifically that she will not have an allergic reaction to these transfusions. So far so has had no sign of reactions to the transfusions she has already received. The pre-transfusion regiment includes Tylenol and Benadryl, which makes her tired. She has to have this prior to every transfusion.

Please pray for my (Steve) lower back and tailbone that I will not wake up in the middle of severe pain, numbness and tingling. I’m not going into all the details, but did see the doctor today and working on why. I am also trying a new roll away bed tonight as opposed to the extending sofa.

As we reflect on where we started on this journey and wondering where we are going, we know one thing for sure, God is there. It is so encouraging to see just a smidgen of God’s plan and handiwork being played out through this trial. We had another example occur today reinforcing that God is in control and revealing Himself to us through His word.

In my daily Bible reading today, I read the account in 1 Kings 18 of Elijah taking on the many false prophets of the day by challenging them to call upon their gods to bring fire down to burn up their offering while Elijah taunted them because of the lack of response from their (false) gods. Meanwhile Elijah prayed to God to bring fire down and accept the offering, which God answered with a vengeance and showed all the people gathered who the real God was, is and will always be. Elijah’s faith was great and saw an incredible miracle and answer to prayer that day, yet it is interesting to see in the very next chapter Elijah’s weakness of feeling of alone. The thought struck me on how a man of this stature could feel so alone and afraid following the witness of such a great act by an awesome holy God. 1 Kings 19: 9-10 says:

“And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and He said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” So he said, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”

It was the next section of this same encounter between God and Elijah in verses 11 & 12 that caused me to stop and dwell on the text a little more than usual:

"Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.”

It was the last four words of this encounter that brought comfort to me as I sat in the atrium lobby at 5:30 this morning, “a still small voice”. How terrifying the thought of a wind with the force and power to break rock off a mountain. I tried to imagine the noise of the wind, the shaking of the earth and the roaring of the fire and then….a still small voice. I couldn’t help but think of the “noise” surrounding our encounter with a holy God imposing His perfect will for our lives, a will that is challenging for us to understand with our earthly, finite minds. Yet there He is, in the midst of our turmoil, “a still small voice”. What a wonder, what a relief and what a comfort; the source of the abundant peace we have been overwhelmed by since the day of our arrival here at Sparrow. Elijah may have felt alone, but he wasn’t. We are not alone either.

This was a great moment for me (Steve) as I sat there in the quietness of the early morning pondering this. I returned to the room and found an email from our daughter Callie (who is currently with a friend in Indianapolis). Her email was “stuff for Mom”, meaning inspirational commentary and Bible verses for her to read. The very first commentary was on “Confidence in Times of Distress”. The first verse on the list was Psalm 46:10:

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!

There was that word "still" again, but this time it was not describing God, but rather how we are to respond. We need not be anxious about Bonnie’s disease. We need to be “still” in our hearts so we will continue to know God’s “still” small voice. May He be exalted in this challenging journey. Please pray that we will be “still” in our hearts. Thank you so much.

2009-06-04T21:17:00.000-04:00

Thursday,

Another day of wait and see as it relates to Bonnie’s coping with the intestinal issue while the chemo continues to ravage her body even though the drip IV ended Monday night. Our nurse today informed us that the chemo can stay in the body for up to two weeks.

The gastroenterologist visited Bonnie today to review the many remedies that our main physicians have been alternating in hopes of finding the right combination that would minimize the intestinal issues. He eliminated all but one and added two others. Interestingly, Bonnie had severe intestinal issues this morning at 7:15 and didn’t have another bout until 6:00 this evening and the new medicine wasn’t prescribed to begin until tonight at 7:00. So the almost 11 hour reprieve gave Bonnie much needed relief. We’re hopeful it might be slowing down, but Bonnie is somewhat apprehensive in eating for fear that it will set her back into an hourly visit to the bathroom throughout the night. Needless to say, she is exhausted. She labors so hard for well over an hour to eat a few bites of toast with peanut butter and jelly on it and then wonders why she even tried when it runs right through her. Please pray that her intestinal tract will settle down so her body can absorb the minimal nutrition she is putting in by eating as opposed to the food bag running through the IV.

Even with the fatigue, I was able to coax her to get out of bed into a wheel chair so I could push her outdoors onto the patio for a few minutes in the fresh air. She said she was only doing it for me as she thought I needed a break from the room and hallway. Always thinking of others and putting them first. I told her whatever it takes to get her out of the room I’ll go along with (even though I didn’t need the outdoors). She was wrapped up in two hot blankets and wore a bonnet on her head so no skin was exposed to the sunlight.

There’s not much more to report as we are in a holding pattern until the biopsy on Monday. I have heard from many who take the time to read this blog that they like to hear from Bonnie. Because of her fatigue it is too difficult to ask her to write or even have me transcribe. So the best alternative is to share Bonnie’s frame of mind and therefore would like to share with you another 3 x 5 card she has written scripture on along with her comments. The scripture reference is Psalm 16:5:

“Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.”

Bonnie’s comment underneath this verse says:

“Whatever happens to me is assigned, measured and controlled for my eternal good! As I accept this portion my heart becomes quieter and is content with what God gives.”

God has assigned this difficult task to us, particularly for Bonnie. He takes great care to make sure the assignment is the exact amount; measured and controlled. How comforting it is to know that on one hand the portion assigned to us is specifically measured based on our ability to handle the task yet the cup of God’s love, peace, joy and kindness overflows without measure. You can’t ask for more comfort than that during a difficult time as this.

Your prayers continue to sustain us (and specifically give me endurance as I attempt to minister to Bonnie throughout the day). We cannot begin to thank everyone for this.

2009-06-03T21:57:00.000-04:00

Wednesday,

Another day of testing – both physically and spiritually. In an effort by the doctors to resolve Bonnie’s intestinal issues not much progress has been made. We are hopeful it is still from the chemo working itself out of Bonnie’s system, but it could be side effects of one of the many antibiotics or other meds she is taking. It becomes trial and error in indentifying what may be causing it. Meanwhile Bonnie is not consuming much in the way of food and what she does runs right through her. Her team of doctors has asked the hospital gastroenterologist to consult with Bonnie’s case tomorrow.

Sadly, Bonnie has not been out of bed for 2 ½ days and is very fatigued, which may be from the ending of steroids as the chemo ends or the intestinal issues are draining her. I say it is a combination of both.

We are in a wait and see stage. The next bone marrow biopsy is scheduled for this next Monday at 8:30. Please pray that Bonnie won’t be anxious thinking about this less than desirable procedure. Keep in mind this will be the third time so she has a really good idea of what to expect.

In yesterday’s blog post, I (Steve) referenced 3 x 5 cards Bonnie wrote scripture on along with her comments, during her initial round of chemo. The next installment is from 1 Timothy 6:15:

“God….is the blessed controller of all things. The King over all kings and the master of all masters.”

Following are the comments Bonnie made about this verse to be a continual reminder to herself as she entered into the more challenging phases of her disease:

“Who controls my life? God What kind of a controller is He? Blessed! Accepting from God’s hand what he sends because we know that He is good therefore it is good! Contentment!”

Contentment is the fuel that drives an everlasting peace. If we are content with where God has us no matter the circumstance; health, finances, children, friends, etc, then we have the peace to rest in God’s plan for our lives. We all have long term plans: grow old together, travel, enjoy grandchildren, etc., but God may have a different plan and we have to be content with it and accept it, not deny it and run from it. Do we have hope that Bonnie will be completely healed of this disease? Yes. Might we still grow old together, travel and enjoy grandchildren? Yes. Might none of these happen? Yes. We don’t know the outcome. We can though, be content knowing that this is out of our control and in control of a “blessed controller.”