Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Tuesday,

Dear friends and family,

I’m doing the post tonight instead of Steve, as he continues to fight a severe upper respiratory virus. Please keep him in your prayers as he has another chemo treatment Thursday and he doesn’t want to go into it with the virus still hanging on.

Thank you all for your continued prayers on our behalf. I am a little anxious about this next phase of my treatment and being away from my family so long. My human nature is always trying to discourage me and rob me of my peace. It is a constant reminder when I go on a walk and start to get winded after a short while, I have Leukemia. When I look at my skinny little legs and weak arms, I get discouraged at how far I have to go to be strong again. When I walk by a mirror and see my ever balding head, the voice says “you have cancer!” When I try to open a jar or unscrew the toothpaste it’s a reminder that the chemo made my fingers and toes numb and sore to use. You see when I focus on myself and my current circumstances, I start feeling discouraged that my life isn’t going as I planned. You see we all have these preconceived ideas of how things were suppose to work out. Then a trial hits and we are forced to halt everything and realize that we were never really in control. I have to daily turn my thought to God and choose to follow where he is leading me, even if I would prefer to not go. I need to die to my plans and be open to receiving Gods best for me and my family. One of my favorite verses comes from Isaiah 55:8-9;

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

When my thoughts are on my weakness, bald head or my fear of more treatments, then I’m not trusting our heavenly father and I have no peace. Isaiah 26:3-4 states;

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always for the Lord God is the eternal Rock.”

Our family’s struggles are really no different than trials that you go through. I get discouraged and have to choose to die to my plans and trust that His plan is far greater than I can imagine.

We are very grateful for each of your prayers, they truly bless us!

Love,

Bonnie (& Steve)
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3 comments:

  1. UnknownJuly 28, 2009 at 9:25 PM

    You guys are in our prayers daily. Thank you for keeping us updated on how to pray! We love you guys!
    Mike and Micky Thompson and kids.

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  2. sandyJuly 28, 2009 at 9:42 PM

    This is Sandy Jochumsen. I am in awe of the two of you. I love you both and know God has the BEST in mind for you. As you know, Steve, if my first love, and you are my second! I need him to be "Ditka" for me or football would be no fun! You are my delight, to know that Steve has such a wonderful person to go through God's training with. I love you both. Sandy
    tcbikerbabes@gmail.com, if you want to chat with me. If I can help in any way, please let me know.

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  3. UnknownJuly 31, 2009 at 9:38 AM

    I'm always amazed that when believers are going through fiery trials that they are many times more of an encouragement to others than what others can be back to them. I think part of the answer is that God is sustaining those believers(you) in such a way that no human can. I'm not suggesting that believers are not being a big encouragement to you. But I continue to be blessed with the comfort that God is giving you (2 Cor. 1:3-5)! And I think many other people are as well. I think we all wish we could do something to elevate the pain. But I'm thankful that our Heavenly Father is carrying you both through this! May God continue to comfort you and I look forward to seeing how you will bring comfort to others!
    In Christ,
    Pastor Johnny

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