Tuesday,

The daily regiment continues for Bonnie here at Karmanos as we anticipate the bone marrow transplant on Friday. Today is day four of the chemo with one more day to go. Bonnie’s key blood numbers remain stable, which is normal during the chemo process. The doctors say that her numbers may not plummet until after the transplant has occurred. The chemo has caused nausea, but can be manageable with medication. Her appetite is thus far okay and she has enough energy to walk about 30 laps per day around the floor. Sixteen laps equal a mile, so she is doing well. A day will come however, when she will be pushing it to get in 10 laps, which is the goal the staff has for every patient here on the BMT floor.

Today they started an immune suppressant IV which is preparing Bonnie’s body to not reject the transplant. The anti-seizure meds give Bonnie a little vertigo type feeling, plus tiredness, but necessary as the chemo is putting Bonnie below the body’s normal level to fight seizures.

Each day slowly drags by for Bonnie and she struggles with discouragement creeping in, but she never questions why God has allowed this to happen. It is hard for her emotionally when we are walking laps to see other patients who are in different stages of their respective transplants. Some barely make it out of their rooms, while others use a walker slowly trying to find enough energy to make it around the loop once. Combining this with the emotions of feeling isolated in a strange city away from family and friends can become emotionally draining for Bonnie, which in turn can affect her physically. It’s easy for me to say to Bonnie that every case affects each person differently and expect that this should give her some level of comfort. Our normal human nature is for fear of the unknown to creep in and consume our thoughts.

If we truly believe God is in control of this trial Bonnie is enduring, then we need to fear Him and not the unknown before us. He knows the unknown and the unseen. Psalm 114:7a says “Tremble, O earth, at the presence of the LORD”. We need to take pleasure in trembling or fearing God by running to Him and not away from Him. In a small hyperbolic comparison, it reminds me of the fear (and respect) I have of the water when I’m sailing. There is nothing like the exhilaration of riding on the crest of the wave watching the powerful rolling waves coming behind it. I’m not scared, but there is however, a healthy fear knowing that the waves and wind can overpower and capsize the boat, but at the same time there is a calming peace that brings pleasure to the experience knowing that the keel and rudder combined with the proper heading or course will keep me safe.

Fearing God and drawing near to Him and following the course He has charted for us is what He wants from us. Please continue to pray the specifics we outlined in our previous blog post and add to that list that we will fear God and experience an inner joy and peace as we wait patiently for the unknown and unseen ahead of us in the next few weeks.

Thanks again for your interest and coming along on this journey with us.

Steve & Bonnie