November 12, 2010

Greetings. Today Bonnie had a regularly scheduled visit to the Bone Marrow Transplant unit at Karmanos. The news was not what we wanted to hear, however we do feel it important to update this blog because of your faithfulness in praying for Bonnie and the rest of our family over the past year and a half. We are at a fork in the road with a decision pending on the direction to turn, knowing that regardless of the decision, the long range outlook or prognosis of either direction is laden with challenges.

The good news is that Bonnie has completed twelve of twenty radiation treatments and the leukemia mass in her breast is shrinking. The radiation is now starting to create additional fatigue as well as loss in appetite, but that was to be expected. She will complete radiation on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving which addresses the immediate need, but today’s visit at the clinic was in part to discuss the future course Bonnie should take for long term treatment.

We learned today that the chance of the leukemia recurring is 100% and that this mass in her breast is not a single incidence, but just the first recurrence. Because of this, the doctors at the BMT clinic are recommending another bone marrow transplant using a different donor. What this would involve would be another round of chemo for a week with the objective to kill off as much of the leukemia as possible, followed by surgery to implant a new central vein line catheter, another week of chemo to eliminate the new bone marrow she has developed, concluded with the stem cell transplant. What we know about second transplants is they are much harder on the body and the percentages of success are less than a first transplant. If you have followed this blog leading up to Bonnie’s first transplant, you may remember that we were told that even with a transplant there was a 50% chance the leukemia would recur in the first five years; of course Bonnie’s recurring within the first year. With a second transplant, the statistics show that there is a greater chance of recurrence in the first five years. Of course what was not stated above, are the entire issues post transplant that Bonnie has dealt with for over a year now from the first transplant. She is tired, has a mouth and throat full of sores, can’t shake colds and other illness, continues to take multiple pills several times each day and has to be mindful of all the dos and don’ts. She is weary (we all are weary) and to think about going through all this again with the potential long term outcome having poorer odds than the initial transplant, it is overwhelming.

The alternative is to not do another transplant. The doctors said if that was the decision that they would change up some of the medications and when the leukemia surfaced they would treat it with chemo to settle it down. This would be the process each time the leukemia recurs, however it will get to the point where the chemo will not work anymore and at that juncture their focus would be on Bonnie’s comfort.

In the interim, the BMT doctors are initiating the process for a second transplant; insurance approvals and donor identified. This process will take several weeks, so no decisions will need to be made until this occurs. So during this window is where Bonnie and the rest of us will pray about and evaluate the direction to go. Please pray for wisdom, clarity and discernment, as well as peace, as we struggle with this decision. We trust, take rest in, and thoroughly believe God is in control of all circumstances and situations, regardless of the pain, suffering and heartache. One of the kids said “it isn’t fair”. I can only hold fast to the fact that life isn’t fair and take comfort in the fact that throughout scripture there are occasions to look at that “weren’t fair”. In the book of Genesis, Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery and then he was falsely accused by his master’s wife and thrown in jail. Was that “fair”, maybe not, but God had a greater purpose that unfolds later in his Word. In the book of Exodus, when Moses sent out twelve spies to scope out the Promised Land, only two of the twelve, Caleb and Joshua, had the faith and confidence in God to take the land. Yet all of Israel sided with the other ten spies and were afraid and lacked faith. The result was God’s discipline of 40 years wandering in the desert waiting for a generation to die off. Was that “fair” to Caleb and Joshua that they had to wait 40 years to enter the land? Maybe, maybe not, but God kept his word and Caleb and Joshua endured and were strategically used by God in conquering the Promised Land. Finally, was it fair that Jesus endured the abuse, scourging and crucifixion as an innocent man? It was the ultimate sacrifice for our benefit to appease God’s wrath because of our sin. All we have to do is put our faith and trust in Him and seek his forgiveness. By doing so assures us eternity with Him and then all those “life isn’t fair” moments become a little easier to endure.

Please pray that we will persevere and endure this trial and make sound decisions. Thank you for your ongoing support.

Steve and Bonnie