Friday,

After another long night of a high fever and two plus hours lying on the 45 degree cooling blanket Bonnie had little opportunity for much needed sleep Thursday night. Today, each time she would start to look peaceful and begin to drift off into the sleep I was hopeful she would get, another doctor would knock on the door and wake her up to check her over.

I (Steve) work so hard to give her a quiet environment to easily sleep in and find myself getting frustrated with the timing of the doctors. Please pray that I have patience with the inconsistent schedule of the doctors as they make their rounds on the floor. Those of you who know me quite well know that I’m somewhat “routine” and would quickly add, “that’s an understatement!” Also, please continue to pray that the results of the biopsy I had done on my sacrum comes back benign.

Back to Bonnie. The WBC are still zero, the yeast infection appears more and more to be under control, the rash continues to expand and fill in, and the diarrhea frequency was once again very present this morning. Each day we look for something new to hang onto in order for Bonnie to find the “physical” strength to battle the weariness of fighting the frustrating unchanging status. It’s easy to set ourselves up for unmet expectations which then makes recalibrating our thoughts more challenging and difficult when those expectations don’t pan out. I recall when we were first admitted on May 12th that our team of doctors said “best” case scenario would be three weeks in the hospital. Bonnie erroneously latched onto the hope of three weeks which now has extended into no end in sight at the present time. Bonnie just wants to be at home (so do I).

Please pray that Bonnie will not be weary of fighting the battle. For any of us, waiting day after day for an answer to prayer and a clear direction on God’s plan for our life can be difficult in any situation. Waiting day after day for a clear direction on God’s plan for Bonnie’s life, factoring in all the fatigue and major health issues she is facing becomes wearying to her and puts her in a precarious position where she becomes most vulnerable in her spiritual strength. Thus far Bonnie has been a rock when it comes to trusting where God has her, yet as time passes by it is easy to be lulled into doubt, fear and lack of trust. Satan knows where Bonnie is vulnerable and will subtly attack that area of her life to cause her to stumble in the spiritual strength she has exhibited thus far. My prayer for Bonnie and I is found in 1 Peter 5:6-11:

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

Please pray that: (1) we will remain humble before God, (2) continue to pour out our anxious feelings to Him, (3) that He will put a shield around us from the devil who would like nothing more than to see us fail in our trusting God, (4) that God will show us how our suffering is minimal compared to the suffering of others and (5) that God will, in His timing, pour out His endless grace upon Bonnie and our family. Thank you for your faithfulness in praying for our family.