Monday,

Each day as we wait for a positive change in Bonnie’s WBC count we were told the objective was to get to the point it would be boring for Bonnie. Unfortunately as we have shared countless times it has been anything but boring for Bonnie, rather frustrating battling the diarrhea, fevers and fatigue. Last night was another long evening that included new monitoring of Bonnie due to a higher than normal heart rate. Because of this an EKG was ordered and a heart monitor was connected to Bonnie. Her fever spiked to 101.8 degrees early in the evening so Bonnie made the elective decision to try the cooling blanket early in the evening as opposed to waiting until the temp exceeded 103 degrees in the middle of the night. It worked and brought her fever back down to just under 99 degrees, however the earlier temp of 101.8, which was around 8:00 p.m. triggered a standing order for a chest xray and blood cultures, both of which came at 1:00 in the morning.

Today Bonnie’s WBC are holding at 100 with 70 of them being the good cells (neutrophils). Also another day has gone by with no growth in the yeast culture, so that appears to be under control. Bonnie’s mom spent most of the day to day with Bonnie and from the report I received, it sounded like she got out of her room a couple of times, particularly to the atrium she so much enjoys. Please continue to pray for Bonnie’s eating. She is getting nutrition through the IV food bag, but so much wants to get off that, but still struggles finding something satisfying to eat. She worked so hard on eating her breakfast this morning only to throw it up 10 minutes later, so she was quite discouraged.

I (Steve) am staying at home tonight for the first night since Bonnie was admitted on May 12th. Bonnie’s mom has taken on both the day and night shift which has given me the opportunity to spend the day and evening with my kids, which has been a pleasant break and am thankful for it.

Those of you who have been following Bonnie’s status since the initial week may recall a comment we made that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. This may have been mentioned more than once in a couple of different ways. Well today the stakes were elevated and the challenge is on to see if we can put our words into action with more on our plate. As most of you know, I (Steve) had a biopsy completed this past Thursday for a mass that was found on my sacrum from a recent MRI. Today I got the results of that biopsy and have been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Diffused Large B-Cell Lymphoma. That is a mouthful so let’s stick with B-Cell Lymphoma. Part of me wants to say what more can we endure and part of me wants to try to find humor in the possibility of both Bonnie and I being bald at the same time and the irony of the whole situation.

B-Cell Lymphoma is the most common non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and very treatable with chemotherapy and radiation. I will have a few tests prior to the start of chemo to determine what stage I am currently at. The key test is the PET Scan which looks for metabolic issues with tissues or in other words cancer cells. A “labeled glucose” is injected into my blood through and IV to see where it accumulates in my torso or trunk. The glucose accumulates where the lymphoma is. The prayer request is that it is isolated only in my sacrum area which would be considered stage 1. Assuming that to be the case, I will go through 3 cycles of chemotherapy as an outpatient. That was the encouraging news I wanted to hear so as I am able, I can still care for Bonnie. From what I learned in my quick orientation today is 1 cycle equals 3 weeks. I will spend an entire day at Sparrow in the cancer center receiving the chemo, followed by 4 days of steroids and then wait two weeks and repeat that process two more times. This then will be followed by radiation with the hopes of shrinking the mass and containing it.

If the PET Scan reveals other areas where the glucose accumulates, then it is Stage 2 or 3 depending on the number of locations and will require a minimum of 6 cycles of chemo. Again, I emphasize the blessing that all this is completed as an outpatient.

I will also require a bone marrow biopsy to see what it going on within the marrow. Now I’m regretting watching both of Bonnie’s bone marrow biopsy procedures. I had an option of being put under for it, but took the same path as Bonnie of just a localized anethestic, not because I didn’t want to be labeled a “wimp”, but rather it will be quicker to get completed and will mean starting chemo sooner.

Please pray for Bonnie and our kids as this was something they obviously didn’t want to hear today when I shared the news with them. I am hopeful that this new development gives Bonnie that much more drive and determination to fight as hard as she can with her battle. I pray that this pushes my children closer to God and relying on Him and finding their security in Him and not necessarily the earthly parents that God gave them for a while. I don’t say that as a negative comment, I just strongly believe that we all should look for our security from God and rest in Him no matter the circumstance.

I’m also not fooling myself. It is a long road ahead of us and unreal to think that both Bonnie and I are going through this at the same time. Please pray that I can continue to minister and help Bonnie throughout my treatment. Our doctor (yes we are sharing the same doctor) thought it would be very feasible to help Bonnie. I may need to change to pace a little, but look for wisdom and God’s direction with that. It’s going to be a few weeks until the tests are complete and I can begin the treatment, but in the meantime the discomfort and pain have begun to escalate, so please pray that I can manage with the pain.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to be going through this without the comfort and security Bonnie and I have from knowing Christ. This unbelievable situation reminds me of the cares and burdens we used to talk about with our kids when they were little and afraid of something as they were going to bed. It brings to mind one of the songs I used to sing to Cassandra when she was little as she was falling asleep. Following are the words of the hymn “May the Mind of Christ My Savior”:

May the mind of Christ my savior
Live in me from day to day
By His love and power controlling
All I do and say

May the word of God dwell richly
In my heart from hour to hour
So that all may see I triumph
Only through His power

May the peace of God my Father
Rule my life in everything
That I may be calm to comfort
Sick and sorrowing

May the love of Jesus fill me
As the waters fill the sea
Him exalting, self abasing
This is victory

May I run the race before me
Strong and brave to face the foe
Looking only unto Jesus
As I onward go

This last verse has to be the focus of our eyes for the road that is ahead of us. We are running a race that we didn’t choose to run, but we need to be strong and brave in Christ to face the enemy – cancer and Satan who would like nothing but to see us fail in glorifying God through how we handle ourselves with these challenges. As the verse concludes, the only way for us to accomplish is “looking only unto Jesus, as (we) onward go!

Thank you for your prayers!