Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Tuesday,

Well , the heat of the refining pot was turned up yesterday afternoon, evening and throughout most the night. It was as if Bonnie and I had just completed Chapter 1 of “Being at Peace with God’s Will For Our Lives” and this was the chapter test to see if we put into practice what we have been learning the past three weeks.

Late yesterday morning Bonnie began to experience severe intestinal issues that lasted 16 hours which included a significant amount of blood during the wee hours of the night/morning. The frequency started at 15 minute intervals and ended at 3:00 a.m. with 45 minute to 1 hour intervals. Since 3:00 a.m. this morning it has been 2 to 3 hours. The doctors have determined that this is a side effect of the chemo, although they did a lot of testing to eliminate the possibility that she had some type of infection. The blood was a result of low platelets and the capillaries at the end of the blood vessels that were taxed due to the frequency. Needless to say, it was a little unnerving in the middle of the night, and a test to our peace in the midst of the storm. We were weary and tired with the looming question of whether or not we were going to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus or allow the surging seas of discouragement to distract us from where our focus should be.

I (Steve) share this with you because I want you to know the strength of Bonnie’s state of mind. In the midst of the hourly (or less) turmoil of jumping out of bed (with caution not to bump anything in the slightest due to concerns of internal bleeding because of low platelets), quickly unplugging two power cords to the IV tower and wrapping them around the pole to eliminate a tripping hazard, to moving quickly to the bathroom, to the stress of not making it in time followed by the inevitable clean up, only to crawl back into bed wondering when the next wave would hit. In the middle of one of the clean ups, Bonnie said to me, “well it could be worse, I could also be throwing up at the same time.” Seeing that strength in the midst of the incredible fatigue, that unless you’re there with her it is hard to fully comprehend, the thought came to my mind which I verbalized to Bonnie, “If one person, whether someone reading this blog, one of our nurses or technicians or someone watching the streaming video of Cassandra’s graduation commencement, were to put their faith and trust in Christ because of this, then it’s worth what we’re going through.” Bonnie heartily agreed. So the prayers for perseverance and endurance were answered by God who exercised His will to ensure we would pass the Chapter 1 test.

From a medicinal perspective, Bonnie has been given multiple doses of a strong Imodium in pill form, another stronger drug (Lomotil) in pill form plus 4 injections of an even stronger drug (Sandostatin) all to stop the diarrhea. The medicines have slowly started to work throughout today and has slowed it down by 75%. Please continue to pray that this will end, that she will have confidence to eat (today’s intake was two bananas and three spoonfuls of orange sherbet) and that she will regain energy (she was in bed all day today).

As previously mentioned in earlier posts, Bonnie draws strength from God’s voice through His written word. When she has had strength to sit up, she has written down some Bible verses with comments on 3 x 5 cards to encourage herself. Over the next few postings I will share a verse and her comment. The first one is from Psalm 116:17:

“I will sacrifice a thank offering to You and call on the name of the Lord.”

Bonnie’s written comment below the verse:

“I choose not to be anxious. It’s hard to find good in this situation, but I thank you loving Father that you love me and I am yours. I trust You to be the blessed controller of this cancer.”

You might say, why would a loving Father inflict Bonnie with this awful disease? I’m sure most of you know the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. Why would the same loving Father Bonnie is referring to allow Joseph’s brothers to sell him into slavery and be slandered by his master’s wife and thrown into jail. In this case we know the outcome, but at the time Joseph sure had to wonder. God used Joseph to save his family from famine by ultimately putting him second in command to Pharaoh and overseeing the storing of grain. This was part of God’s plan for the redemption of His people. Right now we can’t see God’s purpose for why Bonnie is going through this suffering, but we can rest in knowing that His ultimate plan is still the same; the redemption of His people through Jesus Christ, His son.

Thank you for your faithfulness in continued prayers!

4 comments:

  1. Your family is such an encouragement, it boggles my mind! Even in the midst of this terrible struggle, you are still hoping in Jesus, and turning TO Him more instead of away from Him.

    Mrs. Opper, know that have already impacted many people. I for one have been personally encouraged to truly trust in Jesus for every need in my life and to believe that He can supply for my every need.

    Thank you so much for posting these blogs!! It helps us to know how to pray specifically. You are on our hearts and minds often. <3 <3

    Much love, Stephanie

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  2. Concur with Stephanie! Amazing and God-glorifying to watch your faith in such a deep trial. I can only say that it is great fuel for my own faith. Thanks!

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  3. The true test of faith and perseverence, this is what He has been preparing you for. Continue to cling to HIS MIGHTY strength and POWER. When you are weak (and you've described it well, for those of us that follow your updates) Our God is Amazingly STRONG to overcome the evil and sickness that is within your holy temple. Allow Jesus to continue to be your SUPER Hero,who has, and still can do miracles in the midsts of trials. May our Messiah's peace fill you to the depths of your soul as you work through this time of testing. You are as strong as Abraham was when he was tested of his faith, when he was told to sacrifice his one and only son Isaac. Don't back down now. Many, Many people are holding you up as you work through this truly weak and weary time. As We have walked our deserts and valleys in different ways, our God has ALWAYS been faithful, even when we were in the midst of it and could not see beyond the moment we were experiencing. Jesus knows and He Cares!!!!

    Psalm 145:13-16....The LORD is faithful to ALL HIS promises and loving toward ALL He has made-(You Bonnie!) The LORD upholds ALL those who fall and lifts up Bonnie who is bowed down. The eyes of Bonnie & Steve look to YOU Jesus, and YOU Jesus give Bonnie her food at the proper time. YOU open YOUR hand Jesus and satisfy the desires of Bonnie & Steve.
    Keep hanging on!!!!!
    He Reigns Always---Theresa

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  4. Bonnie,

    You are such a Joy. I am truly honored and blessed to be your sister.

    "I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works. I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most High. When mine enemies are turned back, they shall fall and perish at they presence. For thou hast maintained my right and my cause; thou satest in the throne judging right. Thou hast rebuked the heathen, thou hast destroyed the wicked, thou hast put out their name for ever and ever. O thou enemy, destructions are come to a perpetual end: and thou has destroyed cities; their memorial is perished with them. But the Lord shall endure for ever: he hath prepared his throne for judgment. And he shall judge the world in righteousness, he shall minister judgment to the people in uprightness. The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in time of trouble. And they that know they name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." Psalm 9: 1-10

    Please know that every hour of every day you are bathed with prayer, loving thoughts and much tears. We cry out to God for His deliverance for you.

    Ed and Cathy

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